Page 80 of Holding Her Heart

A: It can’t have been that amazing if you left before I woke up. But you know what, it’s fine. You have a life of your own and stuff to work through. I’ll…see you soon, hopefully.

Aster locked her phone and held her head high. Something was going on with Eden, and she was going to find out what before this day was over. If she had to stand outside her door until she opened it, Aster would do that. Because this, whatever was happening between them, was far too good to lose.

* * *

Aster clenched her hands at her sides, exhaling a slow, steady breath. Eden had been silent since they spoke earlier in the day, and now Aster was done with waiting. She may not look like she’d demand answers, Aster was generally laidback, but she couldn’t sit at home wondering if Eden would ever bother to call her again.

She rasped on Eden’s apartment door, steadying herself and remaining calm.

The door opened. Tired, weary eyes stared back at her.

“You promised me you would always be honest. You stood in front of me and agreed to always speak to me.” Aster’s voice, hoarse from lack of conversation all day, filtered through the silence. “If you don’t want to go any further with me, that’s perfectly fine, but please don’t disappear and then give me nothing. I deserve more than that. You know I do.”

Eden came out into the light, her eyes more bloodshot and swollen than Aster had first thought. “I’m sorry.”

Aster immediately stepped closer to Eden. She held her face in her hands, concern pulsing through her. “What’s wrong? Why are you upset?”

“This morning I woke up feeling on top of the world. I couldn’t wait to spend the day with you, and God, you’ve no idea how hard it was to keep my hands to myself when I felt your arms around me…”

Aster wanted to love everything Eden was saying, but she couldn’t. There had to be a ‘but’ coming. It was inevitable.

“My mum called me. I had it in my head that I could tell her about us. I was terrified, but I was excited, too. I couldn’t hold it in any longer.”

“O…kay.” Aster frowned.

“She basically shit all over it and told me I was being ridiculous. That I was jealous of Blair and Dom so now I want to be with a woman. And it’s not like that for me, Aster. I need you to believe me when I tell you that.”

“I-I do believe you. That’s not what I think is happening here.”

Eden lowered her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself. “I thought she would be at least a little bit happy for me. Or that she’d be shocked but not completely against the idea.”

Aster dropped her head, blowing out a deep breath. “But she was. She was very against it, wasn’t she?”

“She put the phone down on me,” Eden spoke barely above a whisper. “She’s never done that before.”

“What does this mean for us, Eden?” Aster completely understood that Eden had her family to think about. But didn’t she deserve to be happy? “I mean, I want to work through this with you, but are you ending this before it’s started?”

Eden looked up at her, her long lashes glistening, tears falling down her face. “I thought about it.”

“Right.” Aster took a step back, rubbing her forearm. She didn’t know what to say or how to change Eden’s mind. Because Aster was just Aster. She was nothing special. If Eden’s mum had reservations about them, she’d be even more disappointed on meeting Aster. She probably wasn’t worthy in Eden’s parents’ eyes. “Well, uh…”

“But I can’t walk away from you, Aster. Not now. I feel like I’m in too deep, and I’m not prepared to see you years down the line and realise you were the one that got away.” Eden reached out a hand, taking Aster’s. It felt safe…wanted. “I have things to discuss with her when I visit, but I can’t end this with you. I don’t want to do that.”

“Y-you mean…you choose me?” Aster was taken aback. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be worth that much to another woman. “If it comes down to it…”

“I think I’d choose you time and time again,” Eden said, pulling Aster against her. “I needed a moment today. I needed to understand what the hell was going on in my life, because everything feels so intense that I don’t know if I’m coming or going.”

“I get that.” Aster lifted a hand, brushing her knuckles against Eden’s damp cheek. “I hate seeing you cry.”

“I’m okay. I was more worried about how much I’d hurt you today. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

“I’m glad I came here tonight. I needed to see you. To do this. Just hold you.”

“I was coming to you.” Eden said. “I just needed to get things straight in my head.”

“And…have you done that?” Aster narrowed her eyes as she stepped forward. This woman…she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her hands to herself. “And like, are you inviting me in?”

“Y-you want to come in? After today?” Eden seemed surprised by that, but right now, Aster just wanted to lock the door and slip beneath the sheets. “I mean, I’d love you to…but you don’t have anywhere else to be? Out with friends?”

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