Page 67 of Holding Her Heart

“Something changed around the place?” Aster asked, her eyebrow quirked as she stood. She never once took her eyes off Eden.

“New staff. Kinda nice. Very pretty. I have a bit of a thing for them.”

Aster smirked. “Well, I hope they treat you right.”

“So far, so good.”

They left the restaurant together, side by side as they crossed the road and headed for the bright lights of the dock. The temperature was around the average for the time of year, but Eden had brought a wrap with her this time. She wouldn’t have Aster shivering again.

“Maybe we could walk along the front?”

“Okay.” Eden followed, careful of her heels on the cobbled pavement as they entered the dock gates. As they reached an even surface, the sound of the water lapping against the wall, Eden linked her arm through Aster’s. It was quiet with not many people about. “Thanks for a lovely evening, Aster.”

“Thanks for inviting me to dinner.”

“I’d like to think we can do it again, but if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine. I wouldn’t expect you to hide who you are for me.”

“It’s not about hiding who I am,” Aster explained. “And yes, it’s different for me, but I’m respecting what you want. That isn’t an issue for me. At least, not right now.”

“No?” Eden studied Aster’s profile and smiled.

“I mean, you may decide next week that you’re not actually into me. You could decide that it’s not worth the hassle in your life. So, I’m not getting my hopes up.”

“That wasn’t in my plans, if that means anything to you.”

“I know you’re not out to intentionally hurt me, but you don’t know how you’ll feel down the line. And I understand that. I’ve always known who I was. This must be difficult for you.”

Difficult? No. Different and unusual, yes, but not difficult.

“I want you to know that it’s totally fine if you change your mind. I’d be hurt, but I’d get over it.” Aster stopped and winced. “Wait, that sounded terrible. But I’m not very good at explaining what I mean.”

“It’s okay. I know what you mean.”

Aster smiled weakly. “But do you?”

“I do.” Eden guided them off the path and towards a wall. She wasn’t overly keen on looking down at the water; it made her queasy. And when they moved away from the streetlight, Eden felt much braver. “I know it’s going to take time for you to trust me. To trust that I’m genuine.”

Aster sighed. “It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

“Then what is it?”

Aster looked up at Eden, fear in her deep brown eyes. “I don’t want to be a mistake to you.”

Eden’s heart constricted. Aster could never be a mistake to her. Instead of trying to explain to Aster how she was feeling about her, Eden dipped her head, her lips pressing softly against Aster’s. A strong hand gripped Eden’s hip, a breathy moan escaping Aster’s lips as Eden pulled back, smiling. “You’re not a mistake. You’ll never be a mistake. And if you need some space while you think this all over, I understand.”

“I don’t know what I need,” Aster spoke, her voice thick with emotion. “I want to be with you. God, I do. But the thought of you never truly giving me all of you…it scares me.”

“Y-you mean…sex?”

“God, no. No, it’s not about sex.” Aster shook her head, running a hand through her hair. “I worry that we’ll have our fun, I’ll fall for you, and then you’ll realise that this wasn’t what you wanted. I can deal with the secrecy and the hidden intimacy, but I can’t deal with you turning your back in the end.”

Eden reached out a hand, feathering her thumb across Aster’s cheek. She completely understood. “Why don’t we take this slow. Really slow. And then down the line, when it feels right, we can try again.”

“You’re already having second thoughts, aren’t you?”

“Quite the opposite, actually. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this because you know I’m attracted to you. I know you willingly came back with me last night, but was that because you thought you had to? So as not to hurt my feelings?”

Aster stood tall, pushing off the wall, no longer slumped against it. She looked Eden dead in the eye, her focus intense. “I want you. I want all of you, Eden. But you’re right. I think we have to take this slow. The last thing I need is for you to feel overwhelmed by it all and then I get complete radio silence. Just promise to talk to me. If things get to be too much, I need you to be honest. Okay?”

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