Page 62 of Holding Her Heart

She wanted to go hell for leather with this, to enjoy every last second of it, but what if Eden changed her mind? What if they had their fun and then went their separate ways? Eden didn’t give off that impression, but Aster still didn’t know much about her. She didn’t know what made her tick, the relationships she’d been in before, or why on earth she’d taken an interest in Aster.

But maybe that would be discovered in time. Maybe Aster had to allow Eden the chance to understand it all herself before she threw herself at her. “Do you have any plans to speak to Blair?”

Eden feathered a fingertip over the back of Aster’s hand. “I haven’t thought about it. I know I can’t avoid her forever, and I know that she was technically right, but she’s only going to push this. And I don’t want that.”

“I know you have…issues. I mean, this is potentially going to shock a lot of people, you know, but I’m okay with keeping it all quiet. For now, at least.”

“I appreciate that.” Eden shifted closer, resting her head on Aster’s shoulder. This moment was the moment she’d been daydreaming about from the second she’d discovered her attraction towards her boss, but Aster understood that nothing could be rushed. If she fell hard, something she fully expected to happen, it could become too overbearing for Eden. “I want to enjoy you for a while before I deal with the backlash of all this.”

“The backlash?”

“My mother,” Eden said. “I don’t think she’s going to hit the floor when I tell her, but I’m sure she’ll have something to say. She always has something to say about my life.”

“And if she does have a problem with this?” Aster asked, turning her hand over and lacing her fingers with Eden’s. “Would it change anything for you?”

“I hope not.” Eden spoke with honesty. And honesty was important to Aster. “It’s not going to change how I feel about you or the fact that I want to be happy. That’s not something you have to worry about.”

“I’m…surprised.”

Eden turned her body towards Aster. “About me?”

“About all of this.” Aster ran a hand through her hair. She didn’t know how to explain all of the thoughts running through her mind. “I noticed you the day I met you, but to be sitting here with you now...”

Eden cleared her throat. “My biggest concern is making you happy. I’m not sure I’ve ever made anyone happy before. And the girls back home always laid the blame at my feet, so it was easier to agree. And after a while, you start believing the things your supposed ‘friends’ are saying behind your back.”

“What do they say?”

Eden’s skin flushed, her eyes lowering to their hands. “They like to have an opinion on my life. Everyone else is married with kids, but I’m not.”

“Blair isn’t…”

“Blair is different. And she was at one point. But they all had an inkling about her when she was married to Barrett anyway. Whereas I’ve always been single and childless. They blamed my career. They blamed me for wanting what was best for myself. And they even suggested that I was too cold hearted to raise a family.”

“They sound like shitty friends to me,” Aster scoffed, angered that Eden’s friends would say such things about her. “Just because you don’t mirror their lives doesn’t make you any less deserving of whatever you want.”

“I tried to find the perfect man, and I tried to date whenever I had spare time. But nobody ever did it for me. Poor Liam was another in a long line of failures. But that was my fault for staying with him. I’m not sure I’d ever felt a connection with him, but it seemed easier to plod along than call it a day.”

“Have you thought that maybe you’ve never really been into only men? Or not as into them as you thought you were?”

Eden shrugged. “It wasn’t something I considered. Whether it was a man or a woman, I wasn’t paying full attention. Liam always wanted to be out eating or drinking. But this…this is what I want. To be alone, relaxed, in your arms.”

“You want a simple life, don’t you? Work and a relationship to come home to at night.”

“I’ve spent so much time dreaming about that kind of life, Aster. And when you walked into my office…I don’t know. Something clicked together for me. I was drawn to you before you’d even opened your mouth to speak. What does that mean?”

“I’m not the greatest with relationships so I can’t say, but in my opinion, we just found one another. And maybe that was always supposed to happen, I don’t know, but I feel like I’m in the right place. With you. Like this.”

Eden leaned up on her elbow, her lips ghosting across Aster’s. Those lips, the gentleness, it almost had Aster melting into the couch. “I’m so sorry I lied to you last weekend. And I’m sorry for leading you to believe that I was trying my luck with you. I’ve never felt that way about you, Aster. And I never will.”

Aster swallowed as she cradled Eden’s jaw gently in her fingers. “Please don’t take this the wrong way…”

Eden frowned.

“But are you entirely sure you want to do this with me?” Aster didn’t lose her focus on Eden’s eyes; she needed the absolute truth tonight.

“You mean, am I bored and looking for something to take my mind off things?” Eden didn’t sound offended, but it was hard to be sure. “Aster, is that really what you think of me?”

“N-no. It’s just…I’ve always been hopeless with relationships. They never last. And I really want this one to last because it means so much to me.”

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