Page 58 of Holding Her Heart

“Of course we are.”

These basic responses from Eden weren’t what Aster expected. She couldn’t read this woman at all. “Okay, well I’ll be out of the office this week, but I’ll be back in time for the twilight wedding on Friday.”

“Aster, if I’ve made you feel bad, I’m sorry.” Eden hesitated as she stepped forward, lingering somewhere in between.

“No, you haven’t. I’m visiting my dad. I’ve told him I’d be there this week so Lily could have a break. But he knows I’m working Friday.”

“Look, if you need me to find someone else for Friday, I can do that.”

Aster frowned. “You want to replace me?” Her heart sank, she couldn’t do this right now. She’d come here, listened to Eden pour her heart out via song, and now she was being given the cold shoulder. If Aster got a hint of how Eden was feeling—truthfully—she’d tell her everything she was feeling herself, but this was all completely odd. She didn’t know what the truth was anymore. “I mean, if you want to do that for your own reasons, you know? I’d love to remain an employee, but if you want me to leave, I can do that. F-for you. I’d do it for you.”

“I want to do what’s best for you.”

Aster grabbed her camera bag from the floor and shoved her phone charger into a side pocket. “I want to further my career and do the best job I can. I’ll plan to be at the wedding on Friday, but if anything changes, let me know.”

“Aster…”

Aster backed up towards the door, blindly gripping the handle behind her. “Nice song, by the way. Sounded great.”

“Y-you heard that?” Eden asked, tears welling in her eyes as her bottom lip trembled.

Why is she suddenly so upset?

“I did. Whoever you were singing about is one lucky bastard.” She knew she should leave, but Aster’s feet wouldn’t move. Instead, she cast her eyes on the floor, shifting slightly.

“Aster?” Eden spoke with such softness that it brought tears to Aster’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

“You have a beautiful voice,” she said, her voice low. “And I don’t only mean when you’re singing. I mean all the time. But I love it most when you laugh. I wanted…needed you to know that.”

“Th-thank you.”

Aster considered running out, but instead, she removed her hand from the door handle and lowered her camera bag back down to the floor. She had the chance here to be honest with Eden, and even if it came to nothing, Aster could walk away knowing she’d put her heart—her feelings—out there. Being honest could never be wrong. And yes, she was probably going to lose Eden as a friend, but Aster knew deep down that she couldn’t keep this up. She wanted so much more than a friend in Eden. God, she wanted to show this woman what being loved felt like.

“How you’ve brushed last night off, how you said that you were drunk…” She swallowed, finally meeting Eden’s eyes. “Well, did you mean it? Were you trying your luck with me last night?”

Eden watched her, while she watched Eden.

“I’m quite happy to walk away right now if that’s what you want, but I would like you to be honest with me. I have people telling me one thing and then you telling me another.” Aster blew out a breath, her mouth awfully dry. “And I don’t think I can handle it much longer.”

Eden frowned, wrapping her arms around herself. “I-I don’t…”

Aster’s stomach rolled. “Is there any chance I could get a small glass of water? I didn’t think this would all be so hard to say.”

Eden remained silent, fetching a glass of water for Aster. She handed it over, her own hands shaking.

“Thanks.” Aster gulped it down, placing the glass on the kitchen island. She opened her mouth to speak, but Eden held up a hand.

“Aster—”

“No. P-please. Let me speak.”

Eden nodded, resting against the counter. Aster took a moment to admire her in casual clothing. Yoga pants, an oversized off-the-shoulder jumper, and barefoot. It wasn’t often she was blessed with such simplicity, and her heart almost settled.

“Last night shocked me,” Aster explained. “And while I’ve been waiting for that moment since the day I met you, it doesn’t change the fact that I hurt you. Which, by the way, I never wanted to do. I just…I didn’t know. I wish I had and then this could have all been different, but I didn’t know there was even a possibility that you felt the same.” Aster focused fully on Eden; she needed a hint of whether what Blair said was true or not. “I’ve been pushing down these feelings since day one, terrified that you would find out and ask me to leave. Or worse, laugh at me. I considered telling you, but then I couldn’t do it. Because you knowing and nothing coming of it would have meant that there wasn’t a single chance I could ever call you mine. And I guess, deep down, that was the hope I was clinging onto.”

Eden sniffled, wiping a tear from her jaw.

“And then you tried to kiss me last night, and I freaked out. I knew it could never be, that you’d never want me…how I want you. So when you did that, I’m sure you can understand why I pulled back.” A sob escaped Aster’s mouth; this was useless. Eden was giving her nothing. “I think this conversation alone has shown that Blair was talking rubbish. Y-you’ve never told her you were into me, have you?”

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