Page 35 of Holding Her Heart

“Coffee is fine, thanks.”

Blair popped her head around the wall separating the mostly open plan area. “You in your own head tonight?”

“A bit, yeah.” Eden smiled weakly, wringing her hands in her lap. “Nothing that won’t blow over, though.”

“I’ll be in now. Just waiting for the kettle to boil.”

“Okay. And, Blair?”

“Mm?” Blair stood in the space between the kitchen and the living room.

“I’m sorry about the other night.” Eden offered an apologetic smile.

Blair held up a hand. “I’m not fighting with you. We’ve been friends for too long. We’ll talk in a minute.”

Thankful when Blair disappeared back into the kitchen, she flopped back on the couch, sighing. Could she be honest with her best friend about the feelings she had? They’d been through so much together, but this? A possible change in Eden’s sexuality? No, this was new territory.

“Dom was gutted she couldn’t be here tonight. But with the cup game coming up, she couldn’t miss training.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’m sure she’s sick of seeing my face.”

Blair lowered the cups to the table, taking Eden’s face in her hands. “It’s a very beautiful face. Don’t talk rubbish.”

“How are you both getting on? Still in the honeymoon stage, so to speak?” Eden needed a moment—normalcy—before she laid everything bare.

“I don’t know,” Blair said, relaxing beside Eden and curling her legs to the side. “I just know that all of this feels a million miles from what I ever knew. But I wouldn’t change it. It gets overwhelming at times, you know, realising that I’m going to marry a woman after being with…well, him.”

“But it’s what you want, right?” Eden knew it was pointless asking; Blair’s happiness was written all over her face. “I mean, I know it is, but Dom makes you happy, doesn’t she?”

“Incredibly.”

“When did you first know you were a lesbian?” Eden asked, shocked that she’d actually gone there with that question. Blair quirked an eyebrow, smirking. “Sorry, that was rude.”

“Not at all. I’ve always known I was into women. Since I was probably around fifteen…give or take a year either side.”

“That early on in life?” Eden suddenly felt deflated. If Blair had known since her teens, Eden was obviously not attracted to women. She was 42. She should have known long before now. “That’s…wow.”

“Everyone is different,” Blair said, reading Eden’s mind. “Some know early, some discover it later on in life, and some never come to terms with how they feel…”

“It’s fascinating, don’t you think?”

Blair shrugged, cradling her coffee in her lap. “It’s not something I think about. Now that I have Dom, I don’t need to think about what I’m missing anymore.”

“But you did? You thought about it while you were married to Barrett?” Eden could barely stomach his name. The way he’d treated Blair, how he’d abused her over the twenty years they were married, she could kill him with her bare hands.

“Almost daily,” Blair said quietly. “It was torture for the most part, but I had to keep it in my mind that one day my situation would change. I mean, Mum never really recovered from discovering I was gay before I married Barrett, so it didn’t matter when I called her to tell her I was with Dom. You know the reaction she had, but it’s her own issue to deal with. If she can’t be happy for her daughter, that’s her own tough shit.”

“Oh, could you imagine my mother? I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Is this a hypothetical, or?” Blair narrowed her eyes, watching Eden suspiciously.

“Oh, it wasn’t anything. I was speaking in terms of parental reactions to that kinda thing.”

“Eden, sweetie, I love you to death…”

“I know. You’re forever telling me this.”

Blair held up a hand. “But something is going on with you lately, and you’re asking me all these crazy questions and throwing ‘imagine ifs’ at me…so what’s going on? Is this about Aster?”

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