Page 105 of Holding Her Heart

Okay, that was helping Eden with her whirring thoughts. “Yeah?”

“Honestly, I just wanted to whisk you off somewhere quiet and kiss you. I wanted you all to myself so I could show you, tell you, exactly what you mean to me.”

Eden lifted a hand, feathering her fingertips across Aster’s cheek. When she said things like that, Eden wondered why she hadn’t found Aster sooner. There would never be enough years left to make up for wanting this woman. “I know what I mean to you.”

“I-I don’t think you do,” Aster said quietly.

All Eden could do was focus on Aster’s beautiful face. That little button nose always warmed her heart, but it was Aster’s gentle lips that had Eden wild with love and want over the last year. Aster’s lips…she had no words.

“I mean, I know I tell you I love you every day, but I fear it’s not enough. And I don’t know how to show you, how to guarantee that you’ll always be mine. But I do, Eden. I love you so much.”

Eden leaned in, smiling into a kiss. Aster didn’t often get flustered, but when she did, it was Eden’s favourite kind of Aster. “You don’t need to guarantee anything. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I doubt how you feel or that you worry I don’t feel the same way, but today has only shown me how much I love you. How much I want to still be at weddings with you in ten, even twenty or thirty years down the line.”

Aster pulled Eden towards the bed and took a seat, frowning when Eden didn’t join her but instead stood between her legs. “I want to be doing the same things with you.”

“You seem…like you have something on your mind, babe. Is everything okay?”

Eden smiled as she cocked her head. “For the first time in my life, everything is so okay that I’m waiting for it to fall to pieces.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Not with us, anyway.”

“And I don’t know, Aster,” Eden paused, caressing her girlfriend’s cheek. “I have so many things I want to say to you, but I don’t want to scare you off.”

“Babe, it’s been a year. And in that year, my love for you has grown so much that my heart probably can’t take much more. There is nothing you could say to me that would scare me off. Trust me. I love you.”

Could Eden be brutally honest with Aster? She felt as though she could, Aster had never shown any discomfort in anything they’d done or shared over the last year, but this was still all very new to Eden. Aster had always been so sure of who she was, but Eden…sometimes she got the impression that she was still coming to terms with the fact that she was in love, and living, with a woman. “I want something different…”

“Different?” Aster visibly swallowed, her grip slowly loosening on Eden’s waist. “W-with someone else?” She scrubbed a hand over her face, blowing out a deep breath. “I mean, am I not giving you enough?”

“N-no. That’s not what I meant.”

“O…kay.”

Eden sat beside Aster, taking her hand and squeezing it. “I said that wrong. I’m sorry.”

“You had me worried for a moment then.” Aster offered a hesitant smile, but Eden could put her mind to rest. At least, she hoped she could.

“I know things work really well how we are, and I know I’m happy with where we’re at, but do you ever wonder what the future holds for us, Aster? Do you ever lie in bed at night and think about what the next step for us is?”

“Honestly?” Aster quirked an eyebrow, and Eden nodded. “Yes. I do.”

“And…”

“And in an ideal world, we’d be married with kids down the line. But it’s not something we’ve ever talked about, and if I’m being truthful, I didn’t have the courage to bring it up with you.”

“Why?” Eden turned fully, taking Aster’s other hand into her lap.

“Fear of you rejecting the idea. That sheer panic of losing you because we may want different things.”

Oh, Aster.

“But as this year has gone on, I stopped thinking about it too much. Because when all is said and done, you make me happier than I’ve ever been, and that’s enough for me. If this, how we are, stays the same…that’s okay.”

“I don’t ever want you to disregard what you want in your future to make me happy.” Eden trailed her thumb over Aster’s knuckles, a hint of sadness sitting in her eyes. She hadn’t witnessed that look from Aster since they’d gotten together. “Please, don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me.”

“Babe, can we do this another time?” A tear slid down Aster’s cheek as she lowered her eyes to their hands. “Today has been so gorgeous, and I just…I want that feeling to last a little longer.”

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