Page 54 of Holding Her Heart

That was, until Aster turned her head away, blowing Eden off immediately. Her hands left Eden’s hips, one now gently placed against Eden’s shoulder. “N-no.”

Eden’s stomach sank. She was almost certain that if she looked down at the floor, she would find her beating heart at her feet. Not knowing where to look or what to do, she wrapped her arms around herself and took a step back. Her entire body felt weakened, but then the pressure in Eden’s chest reminded her to take a breath. She hadn’t expected to feel so devastated…but she was.

“No. We’re friends. You’re my boss…who isn’t into women.” Aster took a step back, creating more space between them. “And I’m flattered, really, but…no.”

Eden needed to recover. She didn’t know how, she wasn’t sure it was even possible, but she had to hold onto some element of control. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine.” Aster shoved her hands in her pockets, confusion in her eyes. “Let’s not make a big deal of it.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s unprofessional, and you’re right. We’re friends.”

Aster nodded, plastering a beaming smile on her mouth. But that only made things worse. Eden wanted Aster to be smiling for other reasons. “I, uh…I’m going to grab a fresh drink. Can I get you one?”

“No, thank you.” Eden couldn’t stay here a moment longer. She wasn’t pouting, far from it, but she knew she had just humiliated herself for an entire club to see. She looked to her right; Blair and Dom were watching on with bewilderment. She offered her best friend a sad smile, and then cleared her throat as she turned her attention back to Aster. “You enjoy the rest of your night. I’ll see you Monday at ten. Goodnight, Aster.”

Eden spun on her heel and left the dance floor. She heard Blair and Aster calling her name, but the dread she felt rolling through her body was enough to bring tears to her eyes. Perhaps she’d been foolish to think for one moment that someone like Aster would be attracted to her. But then she also knew Aster must be feeling uncertain. When they’d met, Eden had a boyfriend. And before that, a line of men. Never a woman. Not once.

She took her coat from the seat next to Grace, her handbag from the floor, and smiled at Aster’s best friend. “Thanks for a great night. I’m headed home.”

“Oh.” Grace frowned, turning her watch towards her. “It’s only nine.”

“I know, but I’m not feeling well,” Eden lied. She couldn’t contain herself for much longer. Within the next thirty seconds, she would be a sobbing mess. “Would you make sure Aster gets home safely for me?”

“Of course, yeah.” Grace stood, wrapping her arms around Eden. “Thanks for coming tonight. I can’t believe you enjoy our nights out.”

Eden pulled back, holding Grace at arm’s length. “You’re all lovely. But I’m not sure this is my scene, so I’ll see you around. Probably at the football.”

“Goodnight, Eden.” Grace glanced over her shoulder, frowning.

When Eden followed her line of sight, she found Aster, Blair, and Dom all staring back at her. She shrugged her coat on and stepped forward to kiss Blair on the cheek. “I’ll call you through the week.”

“Love, wait.”

“I can’t.” Eden focused on Blair; the tears wouldn’t hold off much longer. “I need to leave.”

“Eden—”

She leaned in closer to her best friend. “You told me this would all be okay. I’ve never felt so stupid in my life. I…I need a few days to myself. I’ll call you when I get the chance.”

And then the embarrassment truly kicked in, her heart beating rapidly as Eden swallowed repeatedly. She needed to shift the lump in her throat.

Before Blair could respond, Eden was stepping out onto the street, the cool air hitting her face. As it did, tears fell down her cheeks, unrelenting as she took a left with no idea where she was going. But one thing was for sure: Aster wasn’t by her side.

* * *

Aster sat at the curb, her hands clasped behind her neck, her head between her legs. The last ten minutes or so had been a complete blur to her, but the one thing she couldn’t get off her mind was the look of complete devastation in Eden’s eyes. Aster hadn’t ever experienced heartbreak, not really, but Eden had shown her what it looked like tonight.

She lifted her head, tears falling freely down her face. How could she be so stupid? How, in any world, could Aster reject Eden? It didn’t make sense. But at the same time, it made total sense.

Aster had been holding everything back, and over the last couple of weeks or so, had been detaching herself from how she felt about Eden. She didn’t want to, and it wasn’t working, but as Eden moved closer tonight…it hit her like a train. The one woman she wanted…wanted her back? Wow.

Had she ruined everything between them by turning Eden down? Had she lost her friendship, her job, and the one woman she spent every waking moment thinking about all in one fell swoop? It certainly felt like it.

She placed her palm against her forehead. How could something so unexpected like this happen? Yes, they’d had a kinda moment in Eden’s apartment earlier, but it hadn’t felt like this was about to happen. Eden…was going to kiss her. Eden…was into her. Eden…had gone. Aster hit her palm against her forehead repeatedly, gritting her teeth. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“Whoa, calm down.” Dom dropped down beside her, wrapping an arm around Aster’s shoulder. “Don’t go hitting yourself.”

And then tears fell hard and fast. Tears Aster didn’t know she was capable of producing. “I’ve fucked everything up.”

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