Page 20 of Shattered Home

My eyes followed him as he trailed around my body and even though I was expecting it, I was slightly caught off guard when he grabbed my arm, bending it behind my back and pulling me into his chest.

His strength was overpowering, and I could tell he was holding back. I’d be terrified to be on the other side of Rainer’s full power. My back was pressed against the hard planes of his chest when he leaned down to speak into my ear.

“The last thing you want to do is pull or turn into the hold. Try to do both.”

Following instructions, I pulled away with all my strength, but Rainer’s hold only tightened and my shoulder began to ache.

“If you pull, you’re more likely to hurt yourself. Now turn toward me.”

Again, I followed his words, turning toward him and trying to gain control of my right arm. Unfortunately, the twist had him gathering more of my arm in his hand and an ache forming again from the uncomfortable position.

“Neither of those will work. You want to get them to let you go on their own.”

“Like how that guy did when I stabbed him in the thigh?” I asked, looking up into Rainer’s eyes.

“I was wondering why he let you go. Smart thinking.”

I beamed under the compliment, but I tried to keep my face schooled in a nonchalant expression, not wanting him to know how much I wanted him to see me as capable.

“But you won’t always have a knife.”

Grabbing my left elbow, Rainer bent my arm, bringing it back until I touched his stomach. “You have your left arm free in this kind of hold. You can try to elbow them in the stomach.” His hand released my arm and tapped my thigh. “Your legs are going to be stronger than your nondominant hand, though. If you can, try to raise your feet and kick them in the shins. I’ll teach you a leg sweep too. And if you’re flexible enough, kick them in the balls. That will usually do the trick.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound spluttering out of me, Rainer’s chest shaking against my back as he joined in. Our eyes connected as we continued to laugh and it was the most human I had ever seen Rainer. Unfortunately, the second our gazes met, the moment didn’t last long. The brightness in his gaze dimmed and he was back to being the surly asshole.

“Alright. You’ve got me for the next hour. Try to get out of my hold.”

As he spoke, his hand tightened around my arm, pulling my body tighter into his chest. And I hated that my body suddenly had other ideas for how to spend the next hour. Chastising myself internally, I reminded my body that up until a couple of weeks ago; we had mutually hated each other. And although it wasn’t nearly as bad now, we didn’t have any sort of friendship.

Arching a brow, even though Rainer could no longer see my face, I asked, “You’re giving me permission to hurt you?”

A condescending chuckle escaped Rainer’s lips, his breath fanning across the back of my neck. “I’d like to see you try.”

Chapter Thirteen

The sun beamed overheard, blistering my skin, but I didn’t mind. Montana summers were never long enough, and it finally felt warm enough to enjoy being out in the middle of the woods. The creek had even warmed up and lately, I’d been craving taking a dip in the water, attempting to wash off some of the grime I had accumulated over the past four months.

“What are you thinking of so hard about over there?” Murphy asked, nudging me in the shoulder.

I bit back a groan at the contact, my shoulder aching from my afternoons with Rainer. I hated to admit the asshole was right, but it had been three days and I had yet to break from his hold. Let alone hurt him. It didn’t matter how hard I jabbed him in the stomach or kicked him in the shins; he was a stubborn bastard. And I couldn’t bring myself to aim for his groin, no matter how badly I was starting to want to.

“I’m thinking I could use a swim at some point.” My gaze fell to my clothes, reminding me of how dirty I actually was. Really, how dirty we all were.

My bare stomach was cased in a fine cover of dirt, the bottom half of my shirt no longer there to protect the skin. My shirt was splattered with dark spots of dried blood, as well as too much dirt. At this point, I couldn’t even remember what color the shirt initially was.

The scrub pants I had been wearing were cut long ago, the loose shorts faded under the sun and covered in even more dirt than my shirt. I guess that’s what happened when you slept on the ground every night.

“Huh, I guess we are pretty dirty.” Murphy was looking at his own clothes and I took the opportunity to do the same.

He hadn’t cut his jeans, but they were constantly rolled up, the bottom cuffs sprinkled with mud. His shirt had also been cut to help protect Rainer’s wound and although I had initially laughed at the sight of him in a crop top, that laughter had quickly faded when I took in his cut figure. Now, I did everything possible to avert my eyes from the admittedly enticing sight.

“Why did you want to go to the radio tower? It's been weeks since we’ve gone.” I trailed closer to Murphy as we walked, drawn to him, my eyes wandering the ground for any of the hazelnuts Mina and I had been scavenging lately.

According to her, the trees that grew them only bloomed in the summer months, immediately dying off at the first sign of cold. I was surprised she knew that fact, considering she wasn’t from Montana, however, she had told me that she was going to school for horticulture. Turns out my friend was really into plants.

“Because I’m hoping there will be another signal. Maybe another message this time. Because of Rainer’s injury and the intrusion, we’ve been cautious to leave the woods. But we can’t stay here forever and we need another plan.”

“You and Rainer are always thinking ahead, aren’t you?” I met Murphy’s gaze, wondering if he realized how impressive he truly was. Here I was spending my days gathering food and learning how to fight, and they were already on to the next step. I was severely lagging behind when it came to what I should be doing.

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