Page 44 of Margo's Got Money Troubles

“Got it,” Margo said, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“Do you use your real name?”

“I don’t,” Margo said. “Can we just—can we call me Ghost?”

“Of course! Oh my God, you are so cute,” Rose said. “You’re so nervous, I love it! Just know, KC will totally be rude, and you will think she doesn’t like you and that is true. She doesn’t like anybody. But underneath all that she is goo and she likes anyone who likes her, so just be brave. She is not a morning person.”

Right then a small white dog skittered into the foyer looking frantically around and barking.

“Hush,” Rose said, and picked up the little dog. “This is Biotch, and she is very, very old. Aren’t you? Aren’t you a little old bitch?”

The tiny dog gazed around, its eyes pearlescent with cataracts. It was a poodle mixed with something else. Rose kissed its tearstained-brown muzzle.

“Come with me,” Rose said, and led Margo into the living room, which was almost hostile in its tidiness. White carpet, white leather couch, black metal-and-glass coffee table. Rose sat on the couch and set Biotch beside her. Instantly Biotch peed on the couch, yellow liquid seeping out from under her. “And this is why we have to have a leather couch!” Rose said, heaving herself up to go get some paper towels. Biotch stayed where she was, crouched and shivering.

After the pee was cleaned up, Rose brought them coffee in large pink mugs. As she handed Margo a cup, she smiled and said, “You are so hot!”

“Thank you,” Margo said, scrambling for something to say in return. “Your breasts are amazing!”

“Do you want to feel them?” Rose asked. “Come on, don’t be shy! Look, I can balance stuff on them. The forbidden end table!” She stood and set her coffee mug right on the top of her breast. She turned this way and that and it stayed there quite steadily. Margo did not have to fake her astonishment. Now she did want to feel them. What property might they have that would allow a coffee mug to rest upon them so stably?

“Are they.. .?” She did not know if it was rude to ask if they were implants.

Rose said right away, “Oh, a hundred percent.”

“When did you get them?” Margo asked.

“Like, three years ago? But I always wanted them. Like, since I was six years old, I knew I wanted implants.”

“When you were six? Did you even know what they were?”

“Oh, absolutely. It was Dolly Parton, on TV at my grandma’s house. I don’t think I knew hers were implants exactly, I just knew she was special. Like, she was not a regular person, she was Dolly Parton.”

Margo’s mind was quietly being blown by this. It was true. You couldn’t be a regular person with breasts like that.

Rose had majored in physics, it turned out, and even done about half of her master’s before dropping out. Margo asked to use the restroom so she didn’t have to talk about her own college experience.

Alarmingly, Rose was not in the living room when she returned, and Margo stood there awkwardly for a moment before she heard Rose and KC talking. She crept down the hallway and peered in the doorway of the room that they were in. They had a whole little recording studio set up and were sitting in rolling chairs in front of fancy microphones on scissor arms. It looked like a real radio station, except that the tabletops were littered with granola bar wrappers and empty water bottles and what was maybe a vape pen and what was definitely a purple butt plug.

“Oh good, come in here, we’re all ready!” Rose said when she saw Margo.

KC did not even look up. She was stirring tea in what looked like a miniature bowl. She was so small sitting in the chair that it was visually jarring.

“There’s yours,” Rose said, and gestured to the empty seat, which also had a tiny bowl in front of it. Margo sat and peered into it, trying to understand what it was, a broth or tea that smelled of leather. Margo’s seat did not have a fancy microphone; it had a more ordinary one that just sat on the desk. She noticed the headphones and put them on. The moment she did, she could hear everything Rose and KC said with crystal clarity, like they were inside her mind.

Margo picked up her small bowl and took a tentative sip. It tasted like mushrooms and tree bark; it was truly vile. “What is this?” she asked.

“Shroom tea,” Rose said.

KC was chuckling and did a soft impression of Margo saying, “What is this?” in a namby-pamby voice. It was loud in Margo’s headphones.

“Oh, wow, wait, I’ve never done this before,” Margo said.

“Never would have guessed,” KC said.

“That’s so exciting!” Rose said.

“No, I’m so sorry,” Margo said. All their voices were the same volume in her ears, it was overwhelming. “I mean, I can’t drink this.”

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