Page 32 of Margo's Got Money Troubles

Margo nodded vigorously. “Yeah, no, that seems totally fair.”

“I can’t believe you’re a porn star,” Suzie said. “It’s kind of glamorous!”

“No, it’s not,” Margo said. “I feel weird about it. I wasn’t expecting Jinx to be so... violently anti.”

“He’ll get over it.”

“I don’t know,” Margo said. She was already thinking about how Jinx would move out and they’d have to find a different roommate. “Do you think I’m a slut?” she asked. She had not meant to ask that; it just came out.

Suzie seemed to think about it. “I mean, are you sleeping with any of the guys on there?”

“No!”

“Then how could you be a slut?”

Margo pondered this. “I feel like there is a way in which, even if a girl isn’t having sex with anyone, like even if she’s a virgin, if she shows her boobs or dresses for sexual attention, she’s still considered a slut. I mean, right?”

“I guess,” Suzie said. “But it seems weird to say a celibate person is a slut. Like, you’re just pretending words have meaning at that point.”

They were both quiet for a moment.

“Oh my God,” Suzie said. She sat bolt upright.

“What?”

“It’s because you know. It’s because you’re in control of it! That is what makes someone slutty or not slutty!” The skin of Suzie’s lower lip was bitten and peeling. “Think about it. If a girl doesn’t know she’s hot and is innocently going about her business, and some guys spy on her naked, she’s not a slut. But if she knows guys want to see her naked and charges them money to spy on her, she’s a slut. The same physical thing is happening in both scenarios, guys see her naked body, it’s just in the second one she knows what’s going on and she’s in control.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Margo said. It was an interesting point. She’d had a similar thought before, which was that if sex wasn’t shameful and being paid wasn’t shameful, then why was it shameful to have sex for money? Or sell pictures of your boobs or whatever? Where was the shame coming from? How was it entering the system?

“I think it’s because you’re the one making money. How much money are you making anyway?” Suzie asked.

Margo hadn’t realized how badly she’d wanted Suzie to ask this.

“This month I’ve made over four grand.”

“Holy shit, then who cares if you’re a slut?”

“Right?”

“Hell yes, I mean you get to stay home with the baby, you’re safe, you’re not having contact with these people. Four grand a month?! Fucking slut it up!”

Margo laughed. She was no more or less a slut than she’d been five minutes ago, but now she felt so much better, the relief was almost indescribable.

“You have the power,” Suzie said.

“I guess,” Margo said.

“Don’t let Jinx treat you like shit. Kick him out! If he doesn’t like the way you make a living, he can leave.”

“Well, it would still be really nice if he paid rent,” Margo said.

“Sure. But money is power, Margo. And you’ve got it, baby.” She kissed Margo on the cheek and then pulled back. “You smell like puke, sweetie.”

Bodhi still seemed to be soundly asleep, so Margo took the baby monitor with her in the bathroom and ran a shower, thinking about what Suzie had said. She took her time and, when she emerged, stayed in the bathroom, drying her hair, applying moisturizer to her legs, all the little things she normally skipped because Bodhi was usually fussing in his Bumbo seat in there with her. There was a knock on the door.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s me.” It was Jinx. “Can I say something really quick?”

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