Page 96 of Reckless

“Oh, this sounds like inspiration for that romantic element you’re working on.”

“Bri, you have no idea.”

She listens as I talk. I’m honest, I tell her everything. Not too detailed on the intimate stuff but I do mention how much sex I’m having, and she fans her face with her hand. Only interrupting a few times, she listens until I pause for breath. Stalling on where to go next and ask the real question I need answers to.

“A rockstar. You don’t do things by half, Krista.”

“Don’t,” I put my head in my hands.

“From what you’re saying, it sounds like he’s catching feelings, but you won’t know till you ask. And therein lies the problem, I guess. You’re not so sure you feel the same?” she says it in a high lilting voice, then cocks her head. “Or you are, and you’re shitting your pants.”

I can’t help the laugh.

“It’s an interesting problem to have. And, let me say, I’m very proud of you for having wild, hot sex with this guy. I didn’t know who he was, but I googled him while you were talking. He’s gorgeous.”

“He’s also good hearted, caring and generous.”

“Sounds like the complete package.”

“You’ve been married twice to guys you thought you loved.”

“Well, that was quite a leap. You think you love him?”

“No. Not…” I try to think of a word.

“You could, under different circumstances.”

“Maybe,” I bite my lip. “I’m just worried that we’re in such close proximity, and only a handful of people know we’re together, it’s potentially warping my feelings.”

I tell her about the people from his band and label who know. And Drew and Wayne having met him but it was only one night.

“That isn’t great, Krista. It does kind of change the situation. You’ve been on your own through all of this except for one evening with your friends?”

“I’m trying to respect his privacy and not let it get out where he is, given all the crap that is being reported about him and his band lately.”

“I get that. But there is an element of safety here too. Anyway, I’m sure you’ve considered that and that isn’t why we’re talking. You’re right, I did love both of my husband’s when we got married and Jace to a certain degree I still have feelings for. But I wouldn’t have Jack and Tobias without Jace. So, I have to think that the period of time we were together, that I loved him, was worth it. Not just for the kids. We had a good time for seventeen years. Until things went wrong. But you can’t predict that.

“For some people love lasts a lifetime, some flit from one relationship to the next. It makes us what we are. Human. You’re human. I can’t tell you what to do. I get you needed someone to talk to about it, and I’m glad you came to me,” she pauses for breath. “I am going to say something you probably already know.”

“I should talk to him,” I say before she can.

“Exactly. You know the score, eh,” she grins. “It’s a difficult choice to make. But I think you’ve probably already made it, in certain parts of you, even if others are slow to catch up.”

“If you’re referring to my fun parts… I think it’s safe to say they’re fully on board. But not everything is about sex.”

“You talk, you do stuff outside of the bedroom, or the couch or wherever," she laughs. "From what you’ve been saying it is a lot more than just sex. He tells you his truths. Maybe it’s time you tell him yours. Be honest with yourself too.”

“I don’t see this being a sustainable relationship.”

“If we went into every relationship thinking like that, we could come up with a million reasons to walk away. The world would be full of people making their way through life alone. We’d die out within one generation.”

“Your post-apocalyptic world building is coming into play.”

“Hey, it’s true. One seemingly insignificant thing can turn life on a dime. You kill out the bees, the human race will follow.”

I’ll take her word for that. Bri is a meticulous planner and researcher. She’s also very heavy into environmental issues.

“I’m sure a romance writer would have a completely different take on this.”

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