Page 111 of Reckless

“Shit, sorry,” she squeezes the steering wheel tight between both hands. “Jude, she needs you.”

“Is that you telling me to go?”

“No, I mean… I don’t know.”

“Tell me the truth, Krista.”

She takes a shaky breath before looking at me. “Now?” she indicates the traffic.

“Yeah, now. How do you feel about me? Be honest.”

When she doesn’t answer, the anger rises. Why won’t she just say it? Hypocrite here hasn’t said it either. So maybe now is the time.

“You’ve helped me deal with my shit, Krista. And not because you want anything from me. You did it because it’s who you are. And along the way, something happened. Something I never expected.”

“What?” she breathes out.

“I fell for you. Fucking hard. And I’ve been dying to tell you for what feels like a thousand God damn miles, but I know that there is something holding you back. Something stopping you from admitting you feel it too. Tell me I’m wrong.”

It doesn’t touch the true extent of what I feel, but I can’t lay it all out there, not if she’s going to push me away.

“Pull over.”

“What?” She frowns.

“You heard, pull over. I can’t have this conversation while we’re worrying about traffic.”

“Jude,” she shakes her head.

“Krista, please, pull over.”

There must be something in my tone because when the car in front gives us enough space to move, she puts on the blinker and pulls into the breakdown lane. Fuck knows how long we have before highway patrol comes along, but I need her full attention.

The RV rolls to a stop and I pop my seatbelt and get to my feet. I undo hers and hold out my hand. Krista stares at it, then up at my face before putting her hand in mine. It’s a first step. One I’m going to choose to believe is a good sign.

I pull her up and walk her back to the couch, but I don’t sit down. Stroking a hand down the side of her face, I stare deeply into her eyes.

“I don’t want to walk away knowing I’ll never see you again after we leave Chicago. I can’t stand the thought of not having you in my life. This happened fast, it’s not what most people would consider normal, and everyone will tell me I’m insane but… Fuck Krista. I love you, I do, plain and simple. I’m in love with you.

“You understand me, you see beyond the surface like no one I’ve ever met before. You’re selfless and have a huge heart. You’re beautiful, kind. You opened yourself up to a stranger in need. You don’t see me as Jude Smallwood, the rock star. You see me. And I don’t want to lose you. Part of me dies every time I imagine you leaving. The thought of you with someone else cripples me.”

“Jude,” she whispers.

My heart stutters. I don’t think I can take it if she rejects me now. I’ve opened up a piece of my soul and she holds the power to destroy me in her hands.

She takes a deep breath before speaking. “It is fast, too fast, and it doesn’t make sense but… God, I feel it too. I’ve felt it for weeks. If you think this is fast, how the hell do I explain I felt the pull to you the moment I saw you across that field. Even when I was threatening you with the mace, telling your stupid ex manager that you were shitting in the damn woods.”

I can’t help but laugh. A tear fills the corner of her eye. It clings to her lashes. I hate the thought of her crying. I swipe it away gently with my thumb.

“Honestly, it terrifies me. I’m scared that when we leave the safety of this RV, things will be different.”

“So what if they are?” I ask. “It won’t change how I feel.”

“You’re so sure.”

“You helped me to be that way.”

“No, I didn’t. You always had it in you, you were lost. But you did all the hard work, Jude.”

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