Page 105 of Reckless

“This covers you just enough to hide the parts I ache to see. To touch.”

He is still gently brushing my hair and my eyes drift shut, making me sway on my feet. Jude guides me to the bed and sits me down, then gets on his knees behind me, so he can keep working on my hair.

“That’s what makes it sexy. Makes my blood pump through my body when I look at you.”

My mouth and my eyes remain closed as I listen to the low timbre of his voice and enjoy the gentle strokes of the brush through my hair. There is something intimate about this, something I’ve never experienced with a man. No one has ever wanted to brush my hair.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before, Krista.”

I turn my head as far as I can, but it’s not enough to see him and I’m facing away from the mirror now. “Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah, it’s a good thing. Before everything went to shit and we took the time off, I was a different person.”

“In what way?”

“It took a lot to hold my interest. I was always on the move, not just physically, but mentally. Maybe it was because I worked too much or because I have some manic tendencies, but relaxing always came hard for me. I’m not the kind of person who can sit still and just… be. There were always people around. If there wasn’t, it got too quiet, and that freaked me out.”

As he speaks, all the while he is brushing my hair. The knots are all out. Now he is just slowly caressing my hair with the brush, following behind with his hand, smoothing it down.

“Now, I go up on the roof and stare at the stars, or sit and play my guitar, or even just driving the RV while you’re busy and my mind is quiet. There aren’t a million things running through my head every second of every day. And you’re the one who showed me it's possible.”

“I didn’t do anything,” I protest.

“It isn’t something tangible, nothing that I can say Krista told me, ‘this is how to do it’. It’s more just being around you, seeing how you are. I’m guessing when you're home, you’re different. That you aren’t quite this relaxed. You told me that is why you come on this trip every year. It’s why I suggested two weeks because I figured that would be enough time before I couldn’t do it anymore. That and you’re incredibly hot and I wanted to get to know you,” he laughs.

I sit up on my knees and turn around. His hand falls with the brush against his thigh.

“You’ve been through a lot. You’re still trying to figure out how to get through it all. I wanted to help.”

“And that is one of the amazing things about you.” He brushes some hair behind my ear and holds his hand there, close to my face, his fingertips lightly moving back and forth just behind my ear. “You don’t tell me what to do. You’ve never tried to influence me or take anything from me. That’s all I’ve known for a long time. With you, it’s different. I’m different.”

I trace my fingers over his ribs and up towards his chest, pressing my hand against his warm skin. His heart is beating steadily beneath my palm.

“I’m not sure I like the person I was before. And I’m not sure I want to be that person again.”

“Jude,” I press my hand harder against his firm chest, but I leave it hanging there, just his name.

He’s staring at me, looking vulnerable and unsure. He had the courage to say all of this. Why can’t I do the same thing?

“You make me want to be this person,” he leans forward, his nose pressing against mine. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

You’re a writer, Krista. Just say it. Still, my mouth stays closed. I’m scared. It’s happening so fast and regardless of Bri’s advice to change my lens, all I can think about is how different our lives are. I’m not sure my heart will withstand being handed back when we realize it can’t work between us.

“We should get some sleep,” he says, when I stare at him in silence.

“Yeah, big day tomorrow,” I finally find my voice. Leaving it like this isn’t how I want this night to end. So, I say the only thing I can think of that isn’t the full truth about how I’m falling hopelessly for this man.

“I’m glad you came back to the rest stop.”

“And almost got us both killed,” he grins, saying my words back to me. I smile, and his thumb moves over my lower lip. “One of the best decisions I ever made.”

“Stopping was one of mine.”

I lean forward and kiss him gently, then pull back and go to the bathroom to clean up. Avoiding my reflection, I wash up, brush my teeth and then go back to the bedroom. Jude is under the covers and the lights are off. When I get in with him, he rolls against my back and wraps his arm around me.

He falls asleep long before I do.

“There is not a chance in hell I’m crawling in there.”

---