Page 42 of Electric Touch

I bite my tongue. There is no point throwing her infidelity at her, it’ll only piss me off. I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of showing she can still get to me.

Her head dips and she looks at the floor. “I rehearsed this on the way over, but now I’m here,” she raises her head. “It’s hard.” She pauses. I don’t fill the silence. “It’s dumb to say I never meant to hurt you, because… I did. I was stupid. We meant a lot to each other. I still care about you, Nash.”

“Spare me,” I mutter, showing my irritation.

“Nash, I’m so sorry I hurt you. Believe me. We’ve been friends for so long. Best friends. You were always there and now you’re not. And I… I miss you. I miss my friend.”

“I never went anywhere,” I point out, standing as still as a statue.

“I know.” Riley wrings her hands together, then takes a few steps closer to me. “I don’t want things to be awkward between us anymore. Or the band. It’s been hard the last few weeks, knowing what I did affected everyone so badly. I can’t stand that everyone hates me. But you’re the one that matters the most. It’s killing me knowing you hate me, Nash.”

“Do you even hear yourself?”

Her lips pinch together, but she blinks rapidly. A telltale sign she is going to cry. I automatically stop talking, not wanting to be cruel. Then remember, she doesn’t deserve my kindness.

“So what are you suggesting? We move on? Go back to being friends? Well, forgive me if I’m wrong. The last time we were just friends, we were fourteen years old.”

“I know,” her face creases and she moves closer.

My arms drop to my sides. A couple more steps and she will be too close.

“I genuinely never meant for this to happen. When I met him, it just… Something clicked. It was different, and we never got to experience that. We were together from such a young age.”

I huff and roll my eyes.

“I should have told you,” she adds quickly. “I should have let you know how I felt. It was too hard to tell you. You’re the perfect guy, Nash. Attentive, caring, you love with your whole heart and it was just… I got overwhelmed. Like I couldn’t live up to your expectations.”

“That’s bullshit. I would never judge you or hurt you. I fucking loved you.”

She flinches and I realise I shouted that last part.

“I don’t anymore,” I say, quieter this time.

“What?” she breathes out, looking as if she is having a hard time drawing breath.

“Love you,” I clarify. “I don’t even like to think about you, if I’m being honest. We need to move on and get over this. There’s no point trying to rebuild any relationship, Riley. I’ll never forgive you. If you feel guilty about it, then I’m sorry. I can’t fix that for you. I have enough problems fixing myself.”

Adrestia’s words earlier fill my head. How it was easier for Riley to let me find out what she was doing, rather than her telling me. This, now, coming here and telling me the truth, is such bullshit.

It’s way too late.

Shit, Adrestia. I glance at the door, but it’s closed.

“I have to go,” I tell Riley, grabbing the guitars. “You may not have wanted to hurt me, but you did. You don’t get to earn my forgiveness this easy. You meant everything to me, and what you did showed me I meant nothing to you.”

“That isn’t true,” she cries, reaching out and touching my arm. I pull it out of her grasp.

“Riley, I don’t want to do this again. I’ve agreed we will work together. Maybe, given time, things will get easier. Right now, I can’t give you whatever it is you thought coming here would get you.”

She still looks like she might burst into tears at any second. I turn away and head for the door.

“Nash, I haven’t stopped loving you.”

“Don’t,” I say through gritted teeth. “Don’t say that shit to me, then go back and put his dick inside of you.”

A tear slips down her cheek as she sobs. Then there is a knock at the door. Jesus, that has to be Adrestia. Fuck, I don’t want her to see this.

“There’s nothing left to say, Riley. We work together, that’s all.”

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