Page 42 of Silver Fox Firefighters Next Door

Eve’s eyes showed a flash of hurt but she blinked it away. When I thought she’d tell me to fuck off, she nodded into my hand. She stood and stared down at me with an expression I couldn’t place, but it made me feel like shit.

She pushed her pants down and then tugged her shirt over her head. Standing before us, completely naked, she held her hands out. “Take what you want.”

I stood up and walked around to the back of the couch, putting some distance between us. My head throbbed as a headache came on suddenly. “I’m so—”

“Shut up, Tate.” She rounded the couch and stood in front of me with her shoulders back and her chin tipped up in a beautiful display of defiance. “Take what you want because I’m going to take what I want. Even if we don’t say another word to each other, I’m going to take this until I can’t. So, just shut up.”

A better man would’ve called it off. He would’ve seen the woman in front of him for who she was and he wouldn’t have taken from her again when it was so clear he was going to hurt her. A better man would’ve apologized for being an asshole and walked her home.

I already hated myself for how things would end with Eve so one more sin didn’t matter. I wasn’t a better man. I was just a man desperately clinging to a woman who’d never be his. I was cutting myself as deeply as I was cutting her but I couldn’t find the strength to care.

I picked her up and carried her to my room with Nash and Aiden at my heels. I needed to be inside her in every way I could. Full of frustration, need, and so much desire that I was choking on it, I lost control. I was rougher than I should’ve been but Eve met every hard thrust and raked her nails down my back to match every bite I left on her. I left handprints and marks which would fade but as she came for me with her heart in her eyes, she left marks all over me that would scar for life.

She didn’t stay the night. When we were all exhausted and stretched out across my bed, she stood and slipped out of the room. The sound of the front door closing a minute later was as loud as a shotgun blast. Nash and Aiden sighed and went to their own rooms. The divide felt bigger than the walls separating us. Still covered in sweat and Eve’s come, I felt a chill settle over me and a bitter loneliness that was as sharp as it was unwelcome.

CHAPTER 34

Eve

I gingerly sat in the rocking chair next to Billie on her front porch. My body ached from the night before and my butt was sore from being spanked, something I never thought I’d experience. I looked over at Billie and smiled. Despite my mood, I was over the moon for my friends. Billie was trying her best to hide it but she had stars in her eyes.

I looked out at where the Hellstone triplets were building something for Billie’s house and tried to squash the jealousy I felt. Billie deserved her happy ending. Everyone did. Including me. It just wasn’t my time yet, it seemed.

“What’s wrong?” Billie’s question threatened to topple the carefully constructed walls I’d erected.

“Nothing.” I glanced over at her and saw she wasn’t going to back down. I recognized the stubborn look on her face. “It’s dumb.”

“Yeah, I’m having plenty of those kinds of thoughts and emotions myself. Tell me yours so I can forget mine.” She sighed as she looked out at the guys. She looked nervous. She looked back at me and I could tell she wanted to talk about her fears even less than I wanted to talk about mine.

“Tomorrow is the last day of the battle. I’ve competed a couple of times but… I know this is going to sound nuts but I asked Margaret to pair me against my neighbors.” I let out a sour laugh and shook my head at myself. I was ashamed of myself. Instead of letting the guys go, I was trying to hold on in any way possible. I swallowed my pride and told her what I’d done. “These battles keep creating these great love matches and I thought maybe it would work for me. I really like them, Billie.”

She stole a glance at her guys and then looked away. “Did they say no to competing?”

I felt my face flame. I’d asked Margaret to set up a battle for us and she’d given me this sad look which had nearly sent me running for the hills. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask them.”

“What?” She turned her full attention on me. “Did you talk to them about it at all?”

“I can’t.” I closed my eyes as I thought of the night before, of how excited I’d been to tell them about the battle and of how fast they’d shut me down. “If they don’t feel the same way I would die of embarrassment.”

“Eve! Go talk to them!” She rolled her eyes at me. “If these guys are any kind of intelligent, they’re probably crazy about you.”

“I can’t.” Because I knew they didn’t feel the same way. I was playing a losing game but I didn’t want to admit it. Needing to change the subject, I waved my hand at her guys. “They seem to have changed pace.”

She blushed. “I don’t know.”

Keaton raised his voice about Billie’s dog being in his way but his smile was so warm I could tell he loved the dog as much as he loved my friend. Owen scooped the pup up and came over. He deposited the puppy in Billie’s lap and stole a kiss. His grin died when he looked at me, though. “Is everything okay?”

I groaned. “I’m going home. I can’t commit to my misery when there’s so much sexual tension swarming here.”

Owen laughed and held up his hands as he backed away. “You stay. I’m going back to work.”

“Yeah. Stay, Eve.” Billie saw my face and sighed. She put Turtle, her puppy, down and stood up to hug me. “Talk to them.”

I made a negative sound before walking down to my car. Instead of driving straight home, I drove into town and got dinner at the diner. The energy was still electric and excited chatter filled the space. As I sat alone at the bar, pretending to be just as happy as everyone else, I made a decision. I had to know for certain the guys were leaving. I had to hear them say there really wasn’t a chance for us. It didn’t make sense but I had to hear it.

The drive home felt like it took hours. I was anxious and after having made up my mind to tell them what I wanted, I was eager to get it over with.

They weren’t home when I pulled in. I groaned and trudged into my cabin with a steadily heavier heart. The longer I had to wait to talk to them, the longer I had to abuse myself with thoughts of how dumb I was being. How many times did I have to be turned down before I got the point? I couldn’t help it, though. We’d spent so much time together and I was sure they felt something for me. Maybe it was enough. Maybe they’d changed their minds. The romantic part of me was going to get me hurt.

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