Page 59 of Scarred King

I don’t attend my last class and go to Professor Sawyer’s room. I haven’t seen him since the conference, and I have no idea how he will react when he sees me. Will he feel as embarrassed as I do? Maybe he’s realized that the days we spent together were a mistake, and that we both overstepped the line? I knock on his door cautiously, and his voice tells me to enter. I go inside.

Professor Sawyer is sitting behind his large wooden desk, and as soon as he sees me a big smile spreads over his face.

“Would it sound strange if I say that I’ve missed you these last few days?” He stands up and looks as nervous as I feel.

“Not really,” I sigh in relief and sit down in the armchair. “The weekend was too long.”

“I hope I didn’t give you too much work,” he is still smiling, and now he looks as relaxed as always.

“You should have given me more,” I sit up and open my laptop. He comes over to stand behind me. The scent of his aftershave envelops me and when he leans towards the screen, I realize that for the first time in days, I feel completely safe. I open up the file and start going over the paragraphs, pointing out the topics I chose to focus on.

“Interesting,” he murmurs and stands up straight. “I have to leave now, I have a function tonight,” he says apologetically. “But I really want to discuss this at length. How about Friday at six?”

“Excellent,” I say and close the laptop quickly. “I apologize if I’ve kept you.”

He laughs. “Elena, I’d rather sit with you now than go to this function.” He takes his briefcase and leaves the room with me. “All of those arrogant physicists in one room… if I could skip it, I’d happily stay here.” He groans and exits the building with me. We're walking towards the parking lot side by side, and as we get closer, I see the black motorcycle. He turns me around to face him, still at a safe distance. “I had three amazing days with you. I rediscovered my need for the opposite sex after a long time.” He scratches his clipped goatee and smiles. “You've managed to awaken something in me that had been turned off since I left my wife. And the problem is…” he falls silent and clears his throat. “The problem is that I’m not talking about all the opposite sex, I think I’m talking about only you.”

Before I can respond, he turns and vanishes among the cars in the parking lot. Is he back to that again? I thought we both agreed that it’s too dangerous for both of us. I think about what he said as I walk, confused, toward the motorcycle.

“Faster.” I hear Liam ordering and I pick up my pace.

“I don’t want to go to the bar,” I complain.

"You have no choice." He says furiously.

As soon as I sit down, he starts driving. When I peek behind us, I see the blue Volvo, and against my will I am drawn back to my hideous black reality.

He stops at the entrance to the bar and quickly pulls me inside.

“You were late,” he says irritably and pulls me towards him. I move away and raise my chin defiantly. “And the man who walked you to the parking lot doesn’t look like a student to me.” He looks at me and narrows his eyes.

“Because he isn’t.” I reply coldly. “He’s my professor.”

“I see…” he goes over the counter and Charlie hands him a bottle of beer. “Did you tell him that you’re with me now?” He’s standing in front of me again.

“Why would I do something like that?” I smile mockingly.

“You’d better,” he shoots back the same smile. “If you don’t want me to get rid of him the next time I see the two of you together.”

“Don’t threaten me!” I raise my voice angrily, and he sneers at me.

“Elena, I only give one warning.” He turns around and walks over to sit at the round table.

I start setting the tables and I'm quickly drawn into my regular routine. I ignore the girls’ looks and whispers and manage to pass the hours quietly. Johanna comes in, blows me an air kiss, and sits down with Tommy and Liam at the round table. A few minutes later, she goes upstairs with Tommy. I feel like going up there after her and slapping some sense into her. I can’t understand why she chooses to spend her time here, as if it’s just another innocent bar and not a filthy brothel.

When the last customer leaves and Johanna hasn’t come back downstairs yet, I sit down on a bar stool and wait impatiently for my boss to decide to get up.

“We can go.” He picks up his file and comes over to me. I get off the stool and now he’s standing close to me. My body is back to its old ways, but my brain is sending warning signals and this time I'm stronger. “Come,” he puts out his hand and I ignore it. I can see that this is annoying him, but he doesn’t say anything, and walks out to the street. I follow him. During the ride he seems tense again, driving like a maniac until we're inside the closed garage.

I start going upstairs and stop on the first step. “I need to take sick leave,” I say quietly. He walks into the kitchen and pours himself a drink. “I don’t know how it works exactly, but I can’t come to the bar for a while.” I fake a cough. “I think I have a virus.”

“Fine,” he answers coldly, and I escape upstairs. After I wash myself, I go to bed. I'm here because I don’t have any other choice. If I leave, I’ll find a solution. I’ll find another job, I’ll find a few different jobs, just as long as I can get away from this world. Every time I think I can leave, something terrible sucks me back in, but no more. I look at the bedroom door tensely, worried that if he comes in, my mind will be sucked into turbulence and my body will go crazy. But that doesn’t happen, and I manage to relax and fall asleep.

The next morning, he drives me to campus, waits for me to enter and leaves.

My intensive classes comfort me, and all day long I manage to repress the terrible situation I’m in. Johanna comes to one class and then disappears from campus. In the evening, the motorcycle is waiting for me and when we arrive, he drops me off inside the garage and doesn’t even come into the house with me. I catch up on some studying and papers and go to sleep. This routine continues to take place over the next few days. I thought that the more I ignore him, the easier it would be for me to cope with my physical yearnings, but unfortunately, I find them growing stronger. Every time I cling to him on the motorcycle my body burns, and it won’t cool down for hours after we part. Every morning when I go downstairs and see him, I have to force myself to keep my act together. My desire and need for his touch have become unreasonable and completely exhausting.

Friday arrives and I wait impatiently for my meeting with Professor Sawyer. The classes pass by quickly, and during the last class I notice that Johanna has fallen asleep in her seat. I shake her gently. "You're crazy," I stroke her head and she looks at me sleepily. “You have to pull yourself together. You barely come to classes, and when you do come, you fall asleep.”

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