Page 76 of Scarred King

“I would love to hear about it more,” she is still fidgeting. “But I have to go to the club. I have a dance lesson.”

“Johanna.” I jump up and grab her arm. “You don’t need that shit. I’ll get you into rehab. I’ll come back to the apartment soon and everything will be perfect again.”

“I am not an addict,” she says in shock. “And this is my choice.” She breaks away from my grasp. “There is an exciting life outside that I never knew about. I don’t want to go back to the boring life we had before.”

“Johanna, please,” I plead, but she pulls away from me quickly.

I go to my last class, looking forward to another fascinating hour that will give me a break from my disturbing thoughts. I remain in my seat after everyone else leaves, and open my email. In my inbox I find a message from the university’s tuition department. A reminder to pay the first installment. The date is etched to my memory, but the reminder that it’s getting closer makes me cringe in despair. I’m being sucked back into the black hole.

The black motorcycle is waiting for me outside and the Volvo is nowhere to be seen. “I can take a cab from now on,” I say to Liam.

“Not yet.” He waits for me to climb on and takes my hand, kisses it, and places it on his chest. “I’ll come inside for a few minutes and then I’ll go to the bar.”

“We’ll go,” I shout so that he can hear me over the strong wind. He stops at a red light and turns his head slightly.

“I thought we agreed that you’re not going back there.”

“I don’t have a choice,” I sigh. “I have to pay the first tuition installment soon and I don’t have another job.”

The light turns green and he resumes driving. When we get inside the house, he pulls me close to him, takes my hand and trails his lips over it, with an expression I’ve never seen before. My stomach clenches and my heart goes out to him.

“You’re safe here.” He stretches out his other hand and caresses my cheek. “You don’t have to go back to the bar. Let me pay for your studies and then you can concentrate on what you love without taking any unnecessary risks.”

His offer catches me off guard. I start breathing heavily. He just offered me my dream, and all I need to do is stretch my hand out, and embrace it. But instead of excitement, I feel confusion and distress. My brain takes charge and shoots warning signals. The offer is fading away and will disappear in a minute, I'm wailing sadly on the inside, but my brain made a decision.

“I can’t take that money from you,” I say in resignation. “I’ll have to pay it back and I can’t even think about the possibility of something else tying me to you in this twisted relationship.”

“You don’t have to pay me back.” He kisses my hand again.

“Then how would there be any difference between me and any other girl working for you?” I stand up straight and for the first time in a long time I feel proud of myself. “Every time we'll go to bed I’ll think about that money, every time you'll ask me to do something I don’t want to do, I'll think about the money, and every time I'll get annoyed with you, I’ll think about the money. It’s twisted. I wouldn’t be able to live like that.”

“Then you prefer working for me in a place that makes you miserable?” he asks not understanding.

I nod my head once and smile. “Yes. I prefer pretending that the upper floor and the club don’t exist and to continue earning my money honestly as a waitress. I realize…” I fall silent and take his hand, kiss it, and look at him the same way he looked at me. “I realize that it will be hard to make my dream come true. Nearly impossible. But when I do, it will be because of me and only me.” I press against him and kiss his lips. A long, sweet kiss, full of new intense emotions.

“I think that your brain is starting to make friends with me,” he says, and his kiss excites me. My body yearns for him, I clasp my hands behind his neck, lift myself up and wrap my legs around him. He responds immediately. My back is pressed against the wall and he slides his hand under my tank-top, feels me up, and places his hand on my breast. “Didn’t I tell you not to start something I can’t finish?” he breathes heavily and combs his fingers through his ruffled hair.

“Then finish it,” I lick his earlobe and he lowers me back to my feet carefully.

“We have a meeting at the bar.” He hits the wall behind me and then smiles with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “But we’ll finish early tonight.” He takes his file from the kitchen table and we go out to the garage. “And then I’ll have a few good hours to finish up all sorts of physical stuff with you that I’m sure you didn’t learn in Sex Ed.”

“What do you mean?” I look at him curiously.

“Some things can’t be taught in theory.” He winks and sits on the motorcycle. “It will be a practical, private lesson, and if you make the honors roll, we can continue on to the next level.”

I burst out laughing but my body isn’t laughing with me. My body is on fire.

We enter the bar and Liam takes my cellphone out of his pocket. “I had it fixed,” he says as he walks over to the round table. I turn it on and see dozens of messages from my mother and a few from Johanna. I put the phone on the counter and get to work.

I'm having a hard time looking at the girls. Every time I go over to one of the tables I lower my head to avoid their looks. I feel that I’ve invaded their privacy, and when I have to serve a glass of wine to the blonde I saw in the third room, I nearly spill the red liquid all over her. She moves back at the last minute to avoid getting splashed on and I mutter an apology, clean the table, and escape back to the counter.

Liam is sitting with his two partners, I go over to them with three bottles of beer. I place them on the table and arrange napkins beside them. Liam is going over a chart he’s taken out of his file and they are nodding. He takes a napkin and winds it around his fingers, when he notices that I am still standing there, he puts it back on the table and straightens it.

“We need to talk about the day the truce will end,” Tommy says and Liam nods as he returns the sheet of paper to the file.

“Where’s that crazy German?” Mike is looking over at the door.

“Did you check your club?” Liam stands up and they do the same. “We’ll continue our conversation there.” He leaves the file on the table, takes his beer bottle and the three vanish behind the connecting door. I move closer to the door and open it a little. Loud music is coming from the enormous speakers. I just manage to see them sitting down on a sofa, without Ralph, and the door slams in my face.

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