Page 12 of Sturdy & Dirty

Was that what this was?

Had she been looking for a way to get my attention, never knowing she’d had it all along? That I eavesdropped on her sister's conversations any chance I got, just so I might learn something new about her. What made her laugh. What she liked to drink. Whether or not she preferred rainy days over sunshine.

Yeah, she wouldn’t know any of that because I’d put myself at the back of the proverbial line of suitors, never thinking she might wonder those same things about me.

Hell, I’d waited for her to make the first move.

And whether it was a joke or not remained to be seen, but if this was my only shot to show her what I was all about, bet your ass I was going to take it.

She knew my last name.

I could do this.

One date. Show her who I am. And then let the cards fall where they may.

Chapter Five

Holly

The first text from Austin came a few hours before he was expected to pick me up, and my heart stopped when I saw his name across my phone screen.

I didn’t think he was the type to cancel on me via text, but how could I know for sure.

My fingers shook as I rushed to open his message.

I’ve been thinking about tonight, was all it said.

Was… was that a good thing or a bad thing?

I had to swallow the lump in my throat—twice—and even hollered for Ivy to come help… before I realized I was completely alone in our shared apartment.

It had been so long since I’d done this dating thing, I was out of practice. And when I told my sister what happened at the build, her only advice was to “lock him down”.

As if I had the power to do that.

What if he didn’t want to be locked down? Or more specifically, locked down by me?

Rex once told me if I left him, I’d die alone because I wasn’t “keeping material”. And for a while, I believed him.

“Who’d put up with your bullshit for a lifetime, Holly, seriously?” he’d said when I talked about our future with naive little stars in my eyes.

I’d asked what bullshit, fighting back tears. And he replied, “All that gibberish about your hair business for starters. It’s just a glorified fucking barber shop and you wax poetic about it. Like it’ll change the whole world or something.”

“It doesn’t have to change the whole world,” I’d defended. “It only has to change one person’s world.”

When his derisive laugh caused me to burst into tears, he’d claimed it was just a joke.

But I knew.

I knew Rex was a cruel man who liked to tear others down to feel better. And that was everything I was against.

But it didn’t mean those cruel words didn’t cling to me a little bit, that they didn’t pop off sometimes in my mind and make me wonder…

No, don’t think like that. Don’t let him poison this.

I stared at the ominous text message.

Ivy wasn’t due back for another hour. I’d have to manage this on my own.

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