Page 85 of Hide Me Darling

I’m not sure how long I sleep for, but when I slowly hear the beeping sound again, it’s louder. My body doesn’t feel as heavy this time and I’m able to force my eyes open, blinking at the harsh lights above me.

“Hey Lincoln,” comes a man's voice at the side of my bed. When I turn my face toward it, I see Dessa’s dad.

His kind eyes soften with relief as he notices I’m awake. "You gave us quite a scare, buddy," he says, his voice gentle but filled with concern.

I try to speak, but my throat feels dry and scratchy. He quickly grabs a cup of water with a straw and holds it to my lips. I take a small sip, feeling the cool liquid soothe my throat.

"What happened?" I manage to croak out, my voice barely above a whisper.

He sets the cup down and sits back in his chair, his expression serious. "The doctors said you had a little seizure, they aren’t sure what caused it, they said it could be anything. But you’re going to be just fine.”

My mind struggles to process his words. Seizure? I don’t understand, but the worry in his eyes makes me feel scared. I try to remember what happened, but everything is a blur. My thoughts drift to Dessa, and fear grips me.

“Where’s Dessa?” I ask, my voice quivering with anxiety.

He sighs deeply, his expression softening further. “Can we talk for a moment, buddy? Man to man?”

I nod slowly, my heart pounding in my chest. He leans forward.

“We found a family who would love a little boy like you. They’re a good family, and they will care for you like their own. You won’t want for anything ever again,” he says, his eyes searching mine.

I frown, confusion and fear swirling inside me. “Do you not want me anymore? What about Dessa? I thought we were partners?” My voice is soft, and I hate that I can feel tears in my eyes. I’m meant to be a big boy; I shouldn’t be crying.

“Of course we do, Lincoln. Dessa is so worried and upset that this has happened,” he says, sighing again. He leans closer, his eyes filled with sadness and understanding. “We know you want to be her partner, buddy, but Hydessa isn’t ready for your darkness yet, okay? Maybe someday, but not yet.”

I swallow hard, blinking fast to try to see past the tears, but I can’t make them go away. Why won’t they go away? “Will you be a big boy for her? Just give her some time to grow up, you too. Then maybe you guys will find each other again.”

I nod, even though I don’t really understand. The tears keep coming, and I feel so lost and alone. “I’ll try,” I whisper, my voice breaking.

He reaches out and squeezes my hand. “That’s all we ask, Lincoln. You’re a brave boy, and we’re so proud of you.”

I want to ask him to tell her I love her, but I can’t bring myself to voice it. I know it’s silly and that I’m young, but I feel it deep inside me. I simply nod again, trying to be brave, trying to be the big boy they want me to be. But inside, all I feel is a deep, aching sadness.

I don’t want to leave Dessa. I don’t want to be with another family. But I don’t say any of that either. I just lie there, holding onto Dessa’s dad’s hand while hoping that somehow, someday, everything will be okay.

I’m so scared and worried. My whole body feels jittery, like there’s too much energy trapped inside me, fighting to get out. I want to hit something, to scream at how unfair everything is, to cry and curse my life, but I don’t. Instead, I force myself to retreat into that safe part in my heart, the part that belongs to her, my tears slowly drying up as I wait for my new family to come for me.

At one point, Dessa's dad takes both of my hands in his to stop my fingers from tapping nervously. All I can do then is stare blankly at the wall. The beeping of the machines, the sterile smell of the hospital room, it all fades into the background as I try to hold onto the part of me that feels connected to Dessa. My shadow in the dark.

It’s all I have left now, that darkness inside me that calls out to her. I won’t ever let that go. Nothing else matters but keeping that connection alive. I will do that for her, until she’s ready.

Chapter 42

Hydessa

Pulling my hand free, I reach up and push the mask off his face, the hood going with it. I’m not surprised when his hair falls forward, almost hiding the green eyes that I don’t know how I didn’t recognize.

A sob escapes me as I finally see the boy I knew in the man in front of me. “I thought you were dead,” I whisper, my voice trembling.

His eyes, those same familiar emerald green eyes, look back at me, filled with pain and regret. "It needed to be that way, Dessa,” he replies softly, his voice carrying the weight of years lost and memories buried.

My fingers touch his face, needing to confirm that he’s real, that this isn’t some cruel dream. The moment they brush against his skin, warm and solid, and another sob breaks free from my chest. He catches my hand in his, holding it tightly, as if afraid I might disappear if he lets go.

“Why did you leave me?” I ask, my voice breaking.

He looks away briefly as though trying to reign in his own emotions before he looks back into my eyes. “For the longest time, I didn’t understand why I had to. But you weren’t ready back then for my darkness, little shadow. There was so much I didn’t know about myself back then. If I had found out while we were together, it could have destroyed us.”

He reaches out and wraps his hand around the front of my throat as he leans close to my face. “I would have destroyed you, my darkness wouldn’t have cared what we were to each other. It was the hardest decision of my life back then, but in the end, even without knowing, I did it to protect you.”

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