Page 1 of The Afterthought

Prologue

Avalynn

"Greyson? I don't understand." Tears stream down my face as I stare into the blue eyes of the man I love more than anything in the world. He turns away from me, running his fingers through his deep brown hair before fisting a handful and holding it in place out of frustration. "Why can't you just talk to me? We can work this out. You don't have to do this," I beg.

He frees his hands and throws them up in the air before turning back to face me again. "You don't understand, Ava. This has to be done. I can’t do this with you anymore."

My stomach drops, and my heart slams in my chest as I try to process what he's saying. He's leaving me. Just like that, like I mean nothing to him. How can he walk away so easily? He said he needed to go off to do whatever the hell he was talking about for himself, but what about me? What about us? Did he just string me along and let me think we would be together forever? I have so many questions, but my head is spinning. I should have never believed him. He's just another lying disappointment.

I give in and let my hurt turn into anger because, in this moment, being angry feels so much easier than feeling the pain of him making this decision. We had plans. We were supposed to start our lives together now that we made it past high school graduation. We were supposed to escape this shitty town to start fresh somewhere new, the way we always talked about.

"We could do this together, but you're choosing to go off on your own. You're choosing to leave me behind, and for what!?" I yell, still trying to find some way to convince him to stay—to choose me.

"It's not that simple. My life. The things I do. The urges I have. It's not as simple as us working things out, Ava. I'm sorry, but I have to go." His jaw tics, but his face is stern. He takes a few steps away from me, grabbing a bag to gather some of his things out of the closet.

We spent the last three years splitting time between my mom's house and his, so he always keeps some of his things here. After he places a few of his shirts in the bag, something inside me snaps. I was so stupid. You don't find forever at fifteen, no matter how badly I wanted to believe he would be my forever. I should have known that he would leave me high and dry as soon as we turned eighteen and graduated. I should have never been naive enough to trust him.

"You're not sorry!" I grab the lamp from the bedside table and toss it in his direction. The glass base shatters against the wall next to him, but he doesn't flinch.

"You're going to hurt yourself. Stop throwing things. I hate seeing you upset like this," he tells me, and it pisses me off even more.

"You don't get to hurt me and then pretend to care, Grey." I bow my head in defeat, letting the sorrow consume me. Sobs wrack through my entire body, and the soul-crushing feeling eats at the pit of my stomach.

I hate that he's seeing me like this, but he just ripped my heart out of my chest and threw it on the ground. I built walls around myself to prevent this feeling. I let him through the walls, only for him to destroy them. I can't control my emotions. I keep bouncing between anger, sorrow, pain, hurt, loss, and heartbreak. It's like an endless circle of feelings that my body is rapidly cycling through.

He steps into me, gripping my chin and forcing me to look at him. I can't bring myself to look into his eyes, so I look to the side. It hurts too much to give him that part of me after he just crushed my world.

"Look at me, Ava." His voice is stern and serious. I want to comply, but it hurts too much.

"I can't," I admit.

'"Look at me, baby," he says, and my sorrowful gaze slowly meets his.

The way he looks down at me almost rips me to pieces. He looks so torn with this decision, but I can tell there is no convincing him to change it. I scan my gaze across his face, committing it to my memory.

"Please, just tell me why." I blink through the tears falling down my face. "Why does it have to be like this?"

"It just does. You've always been too good for me. This is your chance to get the hell out of here and make something of yourself. I would just hold you back. Go get that fancy degree and make a good life for yourself. You deserve to be happy." He doesn't understand that he's taking every last bit of joy from me right here, at this moment.

"We were happy. You ruined that." My face contorts in anger. I’m a fool. I was going to beg him to stay. Can I be any more pathetic?

"I was never your endgame, baby. You were always meant to get out of here. I was just biding my time with you until you were ready to go." He leans in and plants a chaste kiss on my lips.

FUCK HIM! I pull back and slam my hands against his chest, pushing him as hard as I can. "You don't get to do that anymore!"

"Ava," he says in warning, but I'm tired of hearing all of this. I'm done.

"Get out! Get out, Greyson! I hate you! I hope you look back on this moment, and it fills you with nothing but regret every single day for the rest of your life." I push against him again. "You had the world, and you're throwing it away.” I scoff. “You're right! You don't deserve me, and you never did. Now, get the fuck out of my house! I never want to see you, ever again."

I bring my arm up to quickly wipe the tears from my face and stare him down. My gaze hardens as I try to calm my rapid breathing. There's a dull ache in my head, which I know will likely turn into a full-scale migraine once my emotions settle down. He goes to take a step into me again, but I shake my head and point towards the door.

"I mean it. Get the fuck out! I hate you," I scream at him even though I know it's not even a little bit true. I love him with every piece of me, but my love isn't good enough for him. I hate him for doing this. I’ll never forgive him.

He sighs and turns to leave the room without any further fight. I watch as my entire world changes and feel physically ill. Our future was ripped away. I’m left with nothing except myself to pick up the pieces and figure out where to go from here.

I make my way back to my bed, climbing in to sit with my back against the headboard before pulling my knees to my chest and letting sobs wrack through my body. I'm not sure exactly how long I sit like this, but the tears have dried by the time I pick my head up. I've lost any ability to cry and have gone completely numb.

With an emotionless gaze, I glance around the room at the very few things I have and decide enough is enough. I grab a backpack and a duffle bag from my closet and fill them up, shoving in all the basic essentials along with a few mementos I can't bear to part with.

---