Page 59 of Craving Cooper

“Did you feel safe there?”

I shake my head, raising my eyes to look at him, and almost gasping at the sadness that greets me. It makes me want to hold him. “People came and went,” I say. “There was nothing stable about it… so, no, I never felt safe. I found it easier to concentrate on studying, which was fine until I turned eighteen and had to leave. I wasn’t ready to face the world entirely on my own, and I didn’t feel like I’d finished with learning yet, so I went to college and studied English. It seemed like a natural progression, having spent so much of my life with my head in a book.” He smiles and I take courage from that. “I worked several jobs to pay my way through college, and…” I pause for a second.

“And what?”

“I started dating.”

He opens his mouth, and at that precise moment, the waitress appears, bringing our appetizers. Cooper has to let go of my hand for her to put down the dishes, and she lingers over placing his in exactly the right position, twisting the plate around, even though it’s unnecessary.

“Can I get you anything else, sir?” she says, ignoring me completely.

“Do you need anything, Mallory?” he asks and I shake my head before he looks up at her and says, “We’re fine, thanks.”

She leaves, and I heave out a sigh of relief, looking down at the dish before me. The white asparagus is wrapped in Parma ham and there’s a small bowl of what appears to be mayonnaise on the side. I’m not sure which silverware to use, and I wait for Cooper to pick up the set on the outside before I copy and cut into the asparagus, dipping it into the mayonnaise and popping it into my mouth. It tastes incredible. The mayonnaise is loaded with lemon and garlic, and I close my eyes, enjoying all the flavors as they swirl around my mouth.

“Is that good?” Cooper’s voice interrupts my moment, and I open my eyes to find him staring at me.

“It’s amazing.” I lean over to see what’s on his plate… which appears to be uncooked beef. “What did you order?”

“The sirloin carpaccio.”

“It looks raw.”

“That’s because it is. The beef is just seared on the outside and then chilled before it’s sliced.”

“I don’t think I like the sound of raw beef. I’ll stick with my asparagus.”

He laughs, sipping his wine and watching me eat for a moment longer before he says, “You were telling me you started dating… so, was there anyone special?”

“I thought there was.”

“Oh?”

I nod my head. “A guy called Jonah. He was the same age as me, but he was studying Philosophy, and I’d been busy working and studying, so we didn’t meet until our third year.”

“And you were serious about each other?”

“Yes.” I nibble at a piece of asparagus and take a breath. “Serious enough to…” I stop talking, unwilling to finish that sentence, even though I’m by no means a prude, and Cooper nods his head.

“Were you happy with him?” he asks.

“Happy enough… for a while.”

“So, what happened?”

“I used to work an evening shift in a restaurant. It was nothing like this,” I say, glancing around and recalling the place I used to spend my Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings. “It was nowhere near as nice, but the pay was okay. Anyway, I’d gone to work one Wednesday evening, leaving Jonah at home…”

“You mean you were living with him?” Cooper says, putting down his fork.

“Yes. He had a small apartment. I’d been living in the halls of residence, because I couldn’t afford anything else, and I hadn’t met anyone I wanted to share with. But when we started seeing each other, he suggested I could move in with him, and I… well, I liked the idea.” He frowns slightly and I wonder if he’s understood why I jumped at the chance to move in with Jonah, even if I was wrong about him in the end. “It’s what most people do when they’re in a relationship, Cooper.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

He stares at me for a moment or two and then smiles. “Okay, so you lived with the guy. How long for?”

“Seven months.”

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