Page 21 of Craving Cooper

I take a breath and raise my eyes upward before smiling back at him.

“We can’t have that,” he says, and pockets his keys, closing the gap between us, before he bends and lifts me into his arms.

“What are you doing?”

“Carrying you upstairs. It’s the least I can do after all the hard work you’ve put in today.”

I know I should object, but I can barely breathe, and I certainly can’t think straight. Being held this close to him, feeling the strength of his arms, and resting against his hard chest… it’s almost too much for me.

Unfortunately, he makes quick work of the climb and deposits me at my door in no time at all.

“Th—Thank you,” I murmur, and he smiles down at me.

“Sleep well,” he says, and turns, making his way back down the stairs again.

I wish he’d stay, and am even tempted to call him back again. But what would I say? How would I ask without giving myself away?

It’s impossible, and I let myself in.

“Saffron?” I call out, to be greeted with silence. “I know you’re in here.”

I switch on the light and spy the cat, sitting on the couch, glaring at me, as only she can, and I have to smile. She’s cross, and letting me know it.

“I’m sorry.” I go straight over and sit beside her, stroking her head, although she doesn’t purr. She just sits, sulking. “I shouldn’t have left you for so long, should I?”

She turns, narrowing her eyes, like she’s agreeing with me, and then she jumps down, going into the kitchen, letting me know what her priorities are. She’s hungry, and it’s my job to feed her, so tired or not, I get up and follow her. As I’m preparing her food, she twists around my ankles, which feels like a sign of forgiveness, but the moment I put the bowl down, I’m forgotten, in favor of food. Just like a cat.

I pour myself a glass of water and watch her for a moment before my need to be seated overcomes me and I wander to the couch, falling onto it. My limbs ache and I’m almost too tired to lift the glass to my lips… but I manage. At least until Saffron jumps up, almost knocking it out of my hand.

“Careful,” I say, although she ignores me and settles on my lap, forgiveness complete, it seems. She’s purring now, which feels promising, and I stroke her head again, letting out a sigh. “What do you think?” I whisper. “Do you think I might have a chance?”

She doesn’t even stir, and I keep stroking while I think about Cooper’s words. He and Meredith have fought before… more times than I care to think about. But this felt different. Why? Because he mentioned it, I suppose. That’s not something he’s done in the past. My knowledge of their fights has been limited to what I’ve overheard, not what anyone else has told me. This time, I didn’t hear a thing… but I know quiet fights can sometimes be more deadly than loud ones. And more permanent, too.

Or am I allowing myself to hope too much?

After all, he didn’t say they’d broken up, did he? He just said she wasn’t speaking to him at the moment.

And that feels very temporary indeed.

I wake with a start to the sound of Cooper’s door opening and closing. I’m familiar enough with the noise his door makes, and even though I’m barely conscious, I know that’s what I heard. Not only that, but I can hear his voice. The words he’s saying are muffled, because he’s doing down the stairs, but he’s definitely talking to someone.

I turn and pick up my phone from the nightstand, focusing on the screen, and seeing that it’s only just gone eight in the morning, my heart feeling like lead in my chest. He must have been talking to Meredith. Who else would he have got up so early for, after a day like yesterday? He may not see himself as a ‘first move’ kind of guy, but if she called him, I can’t imagine he’d make her wait.

No… if she apologized, he’d accept that, and go over there. I don’t doubt that.

I don’t feel very good about it, either.

But what can I do?

Absolutely nothing.

I put my phone back down, spying my clothes in a pile on the floor. It took all my energy to remove them last night. Putting them in the laundry hamper was beyond me… as was taking a shower, I’m ashamed to say. All I managed was to collapse, naked, onto the mattress and pull up the covers.

I pull them up again, although I’m too hot now, and I push them back down within seconds. It’s not the heat of the covers that’s making me warm, though. It’s the thought of Cooper and Meredith having make-up sex… damn them.

There’s no point in lying here contemplating that scene, so I get up. I’d like to head straight for the shower, but Saffron won’t hear of it, and gets in the way, letting me know that while my absence of yesterday may have been forgiven, she’s not about to let me get away with not putting her first today.

“Okay, already.”

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