Page 47 of Craving Cooper

Something must be very wrong with me, because I can’t even face food. I can’t think straight enough to focus on the movie I’ve selected to watch, and in the end, I give up and take a shower, ignoring my hard-on for once, and climbing into bed, staring at the ceiling.

Don’t get me wrong… I never expected that I’d be spending the night with Mallory. I hadn’t planned anything, really. Not even asking her to the Fall Festival, it seems. But my heart hurts at the thought that she’s upstairs thinking badly of me, while I’m down here wanting to make things right between us, and I have to say, I’ve never felt more lonely in my life.

I wake late, mostly because I didn’t get to sleep until the early hours. Thoughts of Mallory kept me awake. Not the usual ones that revolve around her lying naked on my bed, but ones where she was looking at me like she didn’t know me… and like she didn’t want to.

It wasn’t a comfortable feeling, and certainly wasn’t conducive to sleep, although I must have got there in the end, because when I open my eyes, the sun’s shining in through the window. I can tell it’s later than usual, though, just by the angle of the shadows, and when I check my watch, I’m surprised to find it’s already gone ten.

I’m not hungry, but I am thirsty, and I climb out of bed, pull on a pair of shorts and head straight for the kitchen, where I fix myself a coffee, standing with my back to the countertop while I drink it.

I don’t feel any better than I did last night, and while I know I need to talk to Mallory, talking has never been my strong point… not with women, anyway. And certainly not about things like this. Not that I’ve ever needed to have a conversation about anything so intimate before. I mean… sure, I’ve discussed sex in just about all its various forms, but I’ve never talked about feelings or emotions… or love.

That word rattles around my head.

Love… love… love.

Can it be?

Does it even make sense?

I’m not sure anything does. My head’s in such a mess, and I push myself off of the countertop, wandering into the living area, and picking up my phone from the coffee table. I left it here last night, and I flip it over in my hand for a minute or two before I turn it to face me and click on my contacts, finding Brady’s number. I connect a call to him and put the phone onto speaker, wandering back into the bedroom.

“Hi,” he says, sounding a little out of breath.

“Sorry. Did I interrupt something?”

“Not what you’re probably thinking, no. I was just fixing some new shelves in Addy’s room, and I couldn’t find my phone.”

“So, you’re busy?”

“Fairly. Why? Is something wrong?”

“No. Not at all.” Even I don’t believe myself, and I hear him let out a sigh and imagine his smile at the other end of the line.

“I don’t think anyone would fall for that, and I’m your oldest friend, so there’s no way you’re fooling me. What’s happened?”

I’ll have to tell him. It’s why I called, even if I’ve never been in this position before… with him, or anyone else.

“It’s Mallory, and it’s… well, it’s kinda complicated.”

“I see. Do you wanna come over?”

“Would you hate me if I said ‘no’?”

“I wouldn’t hate you, but I’d be intrigued to know why.”

“Because Laurel clearly knows something about Mallory that she’s not willing to tell. I don’t wanna put her in the position of feeling like she has to reveal a confidence, but at the same time…” I can’t think how to finish that sentence, so I don’t even try.

“You need to talk?” he says, doing it for me.

“Yes.”

I don’t know how he can say that so easily, but I’m relieved one of us can.

“Okay. I can meet you at the coffee shop in… say, an hour?”

“Are you sure? I mean, is Laurel gonna be okay if you leave her?”

“She’ll be fine, as long as I’m not out for too long.”

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