Page 34 of Craving Cooper

I’d happily give her anything she wants, and I have to smile, even though I’m a mess now. It’s the first time we’ve shared something like that… and I just wish there didn’t have to be a ceiling between us. Or anything else, for that matter.

I don’t know why I’m awake so early, other than the fact I’ve barely been to sleep. After I showered last night, I fixed something to eat and watched a movie, aware of Mallory’s presence upstairs the entire time. I’d have heard if she’d gone out, and she didn’t. The temptation to climb the stairs and offer her the ‘more’ she’d been crying out for was almost too much for me, and in the end I came to bed, hoping sleep would get the better of me.

It was a vain hope, because all I did was lie awake, thinking about her.

It’s like I’m obsessed. But I’m still not sure, even now, in the cold morning light, that I should be thinking about her like that. I’m still not sure it’s ‘right’.

I get up and shower again, resisting the urge to jerk off. I’m not sure my body can take much more, so I try to think of something else… anything to take my mind off of Mallory. It seems to switch to thinking of Meredith instead, and that has the desired effect on my cock. It’s impossible not to wonder about her and the guy she’s with now, and I’ll admit I’m curious… partly about whether he’s been around for longer than she might like to admit, but mostly about who he is. I remember someone attending the festival last year who sold pottery, but I can’t remember his name, or what he looked like. It could have been Zeke Hooper. It could have been anyone. I wasn’t paying attention at the time.

Still… I guess I’ll find out later. They clearly can’t bear to be separated, even for an afternoon. Not if Meredith’s call to Angela is anything to go by.

When I’m done, all thoughts of Mallory and Meredith set aside, I get out of the shower, and dress in jeans and a button-down shirt. The weather forecast says it’s going to be warm today, so I won’t need a sweater, and I head out into the kitchen, fixing myself some breakfast.

I’ve got an entire morning to kill, but there’s plenty to do. My absence last weekend and my preoccupation with Mallory throughout the week means the apartment needs tidying, and I’ve got enough laundry to keep me busy for more than a few hours.

The time passes quickly, though, and before I know it, I’m climbing the stairs to Mallory’s apartment, surprised by how nervous I feel… to the extent that I have to take a deep breath and shake out my hands before knocking on her door.

She answers almost immediately, and even as I’m taking in how beautiful she looks, the strangest thing happens. There’s a lightness in my chest, and although neither of us moves an inch, I can feel myself being pulled toward her. I can’t fight it. I should, but I don’t want to.

“You look lovely,” I say, remembering to speak, my eyes dropping to her knee-length black dress, which has a floral pattern around the hemline. It’s cinched in at the waist, and low-cut enough that I don’t need to use too much imagination to visualize what’s underneath.

“Thank you.” She stares up at me, her baby-blue eyes blinking back, and I suck in a breath, just gazing at her, until she coughs, and I realize she’s waiting for me to move, so she can get out of her apartment.

“Sorry,” I murmur, feeling a fool, but she doesn’t seem to notice and just steps out, closing the door behind her.

I let her go down the stairs ahead of me, reminding myself I’m not seventeen anymore, and that I wasn’t this pathetic, even when I was.

Once we get onto the sidewalk, we walk side-by-side, crossing over the street together. I can’t think of a single thing to say, but fortunately Mallory can.

“Does anything else happen here? Apart from the Fall Festival, I mean?” She nods toward Hart’s Green as she’s speaking and I smile down at her.

“There’s the Christmas Fair, and the Fourth of July picnic. I guess you only missed that by a few days.”

“Yeah. I got here on July tenth. But it sounds like it would have been fun.” She pauses for a second, tilting her head at me. “Did you go with Meredith?”

“No. I went with Brady and Laurel. Meredith was busy doing something with some friends of hers.” That’s what she told me, although I guess it’s possible she was with Zeke Hooper, and I glance around as we walk onto the green, my eyes landing on her stall, which is right next to his, as expected.

From here, the pottery looks nice enough, and it’s certainly more pleasing to the eye than Meredith’s paintings. I’ve never liked them. Abstract art has never been my thing, but Meredith seems to have plumbed new depths with the definition of that term, and even from here, I can feel myself getting a headache. I’m not sure I want to go any closer, but a sudden influx of people seems to carry us in that direction, and I can’t help observing how my ex-girlfriend is currently clinging to the man beside her. He’s got his arms around her, and she’s gazing up at him with a look I remember well. She used to stare at me like that… usually when she wanted something from me.

As for Zeke Hooper… he’s nothing like I expected. He’s slim, with a goatee beard and shoulder-length hair. I also notice he’s got very long fingers. Maybe that’s a useful attribute if you’re a potter. Who knows? Who cares? I know I don’t, and I’m just about to turn away when Meredith looks up at him and he dips his head, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss.

I don’t think she’s aware of my presence, so I can’t believe this is being done for my benefit… and even if it is, seeing her like that, in the arms of another man, doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t do anything, other than make me regret the time I’ve wasted waiting for her to come back. I can’t blame her for that. She wasn’t to know I’d wait. Although she could have let me know we were over. She could have told me she was with someone else. I wouldn’t have minded. I just feel a fool for having assumed she still wanted me, when all the while she’s been with this other guy.

Still, that’s my fault, not hers. It’s my arrogance that’s to blame. I shouldn’t have made assumptions, should I? She said she’d had enough, and she clearly meant it.

And that’s just fine.

I turn, looking down at Mallory, who’s standing beside me and doesn’t seem to have noticed my distraction. She’s gazing around at the other stalls, a smile etched on her perfect face, her eyes sparkling, and I feel that lightness in my chest again… that same sensation of being drawn to her.

“Do you want to—” I say, just as someone taps me on the shoulder and I spin around, coming face to face with Ryan Andrews. He’s got his sleeping baby son in one of those baby carriers, strapped to his front, and is accompanied by Peony, who looks up at me, smiling. Like everyone else in Hart’s Creek, Peony is someone I’ve known for years, mostly from a distance, thanks to the age gap between us… although we’ve become better acquainted since Laurel and Brady got together.

“We’ve been calling to you,” she says.

“Sorry. I was distracted.”

“Clearly.” She looks at Mallory, smiling, and I wonder if she’s seen through me. I don’t think it would be too hard right now. “We haven’t met before, have we?” she says, tilting her head.

“Not unless you’ve had any dental work done in the last three months,” Mallory says with a smile. “I’m Cooper’s receptionist.”

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