Page 26 of Craving Cooper

“No. It’s because I’m tired and I’ve got a busy day tomorrow.” I have no idea if that’s true, but even if I’m not offended, I’m done with having my personal life scrutinized.

“Okay. I believe you,” he says, although we both know he doesn’t. “Thanks for coming over today. I’d never have gotten through so much work without you.”

“I know.” He laughs, and I join in, going over to give Laurel a quick kiss on her cheek. “Make sure you rest and let Brady look after you.”

“I will.” She smiles up at me, and I stand up straight, letting Brady lead me to the front door.

“I’m really grateful you came over today,” he says, reiterating his point, although he doesn’t need to.

“Anytime. You’d do the same for me. Just take care of Laurel.”

“I will.” I head for the car, giving him a wave. “Think over what we said,” he calls, and I turn, walking backwards.

“About what?”

“Meredith. You could aim a lot higher and be a lot happier.”

I don’t reply, because I can’t think what to say, and instead I just shrug my shoulders, and get into the car, starting the engine. He waits until I’ve turned the car around and then disappears inside the house.

My journey home is brief, and when I get back, I let myself into my apartment, sucking in a deep sigh, which I let out slowly.

What a weekend…

I desperately need a shower, but I’m too tired to think about taking one right now, and I drop my keys and phone on the coffee table, and practically fall onto the couch.

Brady’s words are still ringing in my ears, even though I’ve been trying to ignore them ever since I left his place… ‘You could aim higher… could be happier…’

Is he right? Is it time to call it a day with Meredith? Should I be aiming for someone I want to spend time with, rather than just fuck? Because that’s all Meredith and I really do when it comes down to it. We occasionally go out to dinner, but only when we can’t summon up the energy to cook. We don’t socialize, or even watch a movie together. Our tastes are too different for things like that. No… sex is pretty much all there is to our relationship. It’s all there’s ever been to any of my relationships. And the thing is, I’ve never been unhappy about that. I’m not sure I’m unhappy now, regardless of what Brady might think. I’ve never wanted to be with a woman who required that much maintenance… so, from that perspective, what I’ve got with Meredith has always seemed normal to me. In which case, why do I need to change anything?

Meredith and I have been together for a long time. I can’t remember how long exactly. It’s years, not months. I know that much. What I don’t know is whether we’re still together now. Her silence isn’t as indicative as Laurel and Brady seem to think. As I said, she’s made me wait longer than this before, so I’m not reading anything into it.

Just for a second, though, I allow my mind to wander into a world without her. I’ve already worked out that the only thing I’d miss is the sex, but I guess I’ve gotten used to having things the way they are. I’ve gotten into the habit of Meredith arriving on Friday evenings, without fail, wanting me and nothing else. It’s made my life easy, being able to please myself during the week, and pleasure her at the weekends. That’s not to say I don’t get anything from it myself. I do… although not perhaps as much as I’d like.

I shake my head, trying to dismiss that thought. I accepted Meredith’s limitations a long time ago, so there’s no point in dwelling on them now, and I sit forward, about to get up, when I hear a noise from upstairs. Mallory’s obviously still awake, and I smile to myself as I remember what it felt like to carry her up to her apartment last night. I don’t know what possessed me to do that, other than her obvious tiredness, my temporary desire to behave like a gentleman, and perhaps a need to see what she felt like in my arms. I’d been admiring her all day, and although I knew I shouldn’t, I wanted to know if the reality would be as good as my imagination had allowed me to believe.

The truth is, it was better.

And I’ll admit, I was tempted to break the habit of a lifetime, make the first move, and ask her if I could stay a while.

But how could I?

How could I even go there?

Aside from the fact that Mallory is my receptionist, and that outside of her resume, I know almost nothing about her, officially I’m still with Meredith. At least, I think I am. I can’t be sure yet. And I know Mallory would never consider starting anything with me all the while there was an element of doubt. So, no matter how good she felt in my arms, I said ‘goodnight’, and regretted it the moment I turned away.

I still regret it now, if I’m being honest, but until I know where I stand with Meredith, there’s nothing I can do. Well… I could call Meredith, I suppose. It might be out of character, but I could at least ask her what’s going on. The problem is, if I did, she’d probably misinterpret it as a sign I’m willing to consider something ‘more’ with her… when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

No… it’s better to stay silent and wait. It won’t kill me… I hope.

I let out a sigh, feeling disgruntled… or is that frustrated? It’s probably frustrated, especially as I can’t seem to get Mallory out of my head, and I sit forward again, just as I hear another noise from overhead, my breath catching in my throat. Whatever she was doing earlier, this is a different sound, and it’s one I’m very familiar with. It’s a soft whimpering… the kind I’ve heard women make when they’re about to come, and I lie back again, my cock hardening in an instant.

The whimpering becomes a little louder and although that’s occupying most of my attention, I can’t help wondering who she’s with. I’ve just been sitting here, contemplating lost opportunities with her, when it seems she had a boyfriend all along. I frown, ignoring my hard-on and my frustration, thinking that through for a second. Does it make sense? It does from the perspective that she’s a beautiful young woman. Any man would be lucky to be with her… but would she really have looked at me yesterday the way she did, with so much hunger in her eyes, if she already had someone else in her life?

No. I might not know very much about Mallory, but that doesn’t fit with the little I do know. She seems like someone who’d be loyal… and loving, and kind. Not someone who’d let their eyes wander, regardless of who they were supposed to be with.

Not someone like me.

So, maybe she’s only just met him.

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