Page 107 of Craving Cooper

Damn… I didn’t mean to say that. It’s bad enough that Brady’s been aware of my feelings for Mallory before she has, but to have told Meredith…? What’s wrong with me? I suppose I should be grateful I didn’t blurt out that I’m planning to propose…

“You can’t be,” she says, jolting me out of my thoughts. “What about us?”

“There is no us.”

She narrows her eyes at me. “There was, until recently… and as your receptionist has been working here for a few months now, I’d be intrigued to know when you started screwing her.” She moves closer. “Did you cheat on me, Cooper? Were you fucking her during the week, and me at the weekends?”

“No, I wasn’t. I was faithful to you while we were together, Meredith.” In deed, if not in thought… “You left me,” I say. “Then you let it be known you were seeing someone else. As far as I was concerned, we were over. I was a free agent…”

“But that was just a game.”

“And how was I supposed to know that?”

“You could’ve called me.”

“When did I ever call you? When did I ever make the running?”

“Never,” she says.

“Precisely. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

She opens her mouth, and closes it again before she says, “And you’d make the running for her, would you?”

“I’d walk through fire for her. Hell, I’d die for her, if I had to.”

She frowns. “You’d…?”

“Accept it. We’re over,” I say before she can repeat my words back at me. “Truth be told, we were over a long time ago. In fact, I’m not sure we ever got started.”

“That’s not true. We…”

“We fucked, Meredith. That’s all we ever did… and that’s not enough.”

“It used to be,” she says, sulkily.

“Well, it’s not anymore.”

“What do you need, then?”

“I need more.”

“More?” She raises her voice. “I’ve lost count of the number of times I asked you for more… and you always said no.”

“Yeah. Because I didn’t want more with you, or anyone else. This is a new concept for me… one I discovered the moment I fell in love with Mallory, and understood what more really means.”

“You… You’re an asshole, Cooper White,” she yells. “A perverted fucking asshole.”

“Very possibly.”

I keep my voice calm, and with nothing left to say, and no more insults to hurl, it seems, she lets out a high-pitched scream of frustration, and turns, flouncing out as usual.

She’s left the door wide open, but I don’t rush straight over to it. Instead, I open Mallory’s top drawer and with shaking fingers, fumble for the keys, pulling them out and only then running to the door so I can lock it. I don’t want Meredith or anyone else coming in here, and once that’s done, I dash back, throwing the keys on the desk, and hurry to the rear of the clinic, opening the door to the stairs, and practically falling over Mallory.

She’s sitting on the third step up, with tears rolling down her cheeks, and I’m lost for words, my heart cracking open in my chest. I’ve done this. I’m responsible, and although she’s never cried in front of me before, and I’m a stranger to weeping women, I lift her into my arms, lowering myself onto the step, with Mallory on my lap, and I hold her close to me, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Did you hear all that?” I whisper and she nods her head, guilt and fear rushing through my body, my skin turning to ice. “I’m sorry, Mallory. I’m so sorry.”

She leans back, although I don’t let her go too far. “What for?” she whimpers.