Page 51 of Secrets at the Little Music Shop

Another one of his sudden, beautiful smiles. ‘Better believe it.’

Watching him sitting there, one ridiculously long leg folded over the other in his groin-challengingly tight jeans, I almost weakened. The urge to tell him everything, to let him know me properly, rushed over me. At that point I realised I was dangerously close to loving Ben Davies.

‘Can you lend me the money for a taxi so I can go and get Jason his car back?’

‘Are you changing the subject?’ His smile had faded and the tightness was back in his eyes.

If it had been anyone but Ben then maybe everything would have come tumbling out, the whole sordid story. But it was Ben. And if I told him — he might not like me any more. But I owed it to him, didn’t I, to explain why I wouldn’t — couldn’t — get any closer than this? To tell him that I was leaving, maybe to tell him why. And suddenly the thought of being without him made my breathing faster, my palms sweatier. ‘No.’

His face relaxed again. I began to realise how much it had cost him to confide in me. ‘That’s good.’ He unfolded himself and stood looking down at me. ‘Look, when you’re ready — hey, I can recommend telling someone. Telling me.’ He shook his head slightly. ‘Let’s go pick Jason up and I’ll drop you off at Rosie’s to get your stuff together.’ I made an old-fashioned face at him. ‘What? I need you here to field the phone calls! Where’s the problem?’

Quickly I turned my face from him so he couldn’t read my expression. Move in here? With a man I . . . My mouth was dry. But then it would be easier to run from here, and Ben wouldn’t be quite so omnipresent as Rosie. I’d be able to pack and go without him suspecting a thing.

‘Just promise me if Jason says anything about ice cubes, blank him. Or you can hit him if you like.’

‘Ice cubes?’

‘Trust me, he’ll mention them.’ I took a deep breath. I could do this. I really could.

Chapter Fifteen

Just before he got into the car with Ben, Jason pulled me aside. ‘Jem, got something to tell ya.’

‘You’re not pregnant, are you?’ The drive over had contained a lot of silences. Ben was clearly waiting for me to talk, to share my soul with him as he’d shared his with me. What the hell was I going to do?

‘Nah. Why, you offering to impregnate me? ’Cos I’d give good money for that if I din’t think your Mr Davies would rip me head off and shove the mushy end up me shitter.’ Jase looked around. ‘Where’s Rosie?’

‘Giving Harry his tea. What is it?’

Jason put his mouth to my ear. ‘Took a trip out to Harrogate today. Had a picture to deliver so I took the van—’ a head-jerk towards Jason’s horrible, fuel-guzzling Land Rover. ‘Be glad to get the car back, I mean yeah the van’s useful, but bloody hell it don’t pull nothing but sheep. Anyhoo. While I was over there — yeah, awright mate! Keep yer wig on.’ This shouted across to Ben who was leaning his elbow on the horn of the little car and making hurry up motions with both hands. ‘Popped around to Saskia’s little shop, din’t I? And guess what I found? Round the back someone’s been having a great big bonfire. There was empty boxes piled all over an’ a lovely big mess of burned-up paper.’ He arched an eyebrow. ‘Three guesses wot it was she’d bin burning? And two of ’em are a waste of time.’

‘Rosie’s cards?’

‘Got it in one, my love.’

‘And the staff let you see this?’

Jason looked sideways under his hair. ‘Aw, come on. This is me you’re talking to! What kinda sex symbol would I be if I couldn’t charm a few little shop assistants? And, incidentally whilst taking a little peep out in the yard, getting one helluva shag off Saskia’s mate, Christine. Now there is one hungry lady. And, I may add, one who used to be an actress.’

‘What?’

‘Do we know anyone who might, possibly, have needed someone to pretend, just as a joke you understand, to be — oh, I dunno, a social worker, say? To pop round to someone’s house and tell them that their baby wasn’t being looked after proper?’

I gawped at him. ‘What, and you got this out of her while you were screwing? Your sex talk needs a lot of work.’

He waggled his eyebrows. ‘We got chatting, all right?’

‘Before or after?’

‘Hey, I don’t just love ’em and leave ’em, I put the hours in. And a few other things I could mention . . .’ He rubbed at his crotch.

‘I don’t know whether to admire you or despise you totally.’

‘Just don’t tell Rosie, thass all. Saskia’s still got her churning those cards out like there’s some kinda world shortage. You tell her it’s just so that Saskia can warm her chilly tits I reckon she might go into meltdown.’ And with a little skipping run Jason took off towards the Audi, where he and Ben could be seen greeting each other with blokey slaps.

I went into the cottage to find Rosie spooning mush into Harry’s happily open mouth. ‘You look like a mother blackbird.’

‘Believe me, worms would be cheaper.’ Rosie put down the spoon and turned around. ‘But the health visitor said he’s such a hungry baby, weaning would be the best thing. Wow, Jem. You look — different.’

---