Page 11 of Secrets at the Little Music Shop

We both peeped around the living room door. ‘Bless him.’ Rosie’s face curved into a fond smile. ‘Aren’t they lovely when they’re asleep?’

‘I’m not sure “lovely” is a word I’d associate with Jason, but I guess he has a certain charm.’

‘I meant Harry. But, yes, Jem, why don’t you have a go at dating Jason? I think he’d be really good for you.’

‘Rosie, do you actually like me at all?’

‘He’s not that bad.’ Rosie dared another look through the doorway. ‘He’s quite cute, you have to admit. All leggy, and he does have a fantastic bum. And he’d take you out, you’d meet people, rather than being stuck between here and the workshop with your occasional forays into York, where you only seem to meet freaks and loonies.’

‘And Saskia.’

‘This is the sound of me resting my case.’ Rosie poured herself a bowl of cornflakes, while I made us two cups of tea. ‘Unless — forgive me for this, Jem, but you aren’t into girls are you?’

The kettle carried on tipping while I stared at her and boiling water puddled on the floor. ‘Just because I’d rather eat my own ears than date Jason doesn’t make me gay, Rosie.’

‘I know. It’s just — well, I really don’t know much about you, Jem and it’s times like this that I realise it. After all, you never talk about yourself, do you? Before you came here I mean. All I know is that you’re from somewhere down south. You don’t flirt, you don’t date, you’re like some kind of woman of mystery type thing. Assuming you’ve not been recruited by MI5 to spy on the comings and goings of a deranged new mother and a bonkers artist — why the secrecy?’

‘It isn’t secrecy.’

‘Really? When we first met we were just sort of drinking mates so I never really asked questions, and then when I found out Harry was on the way I guess I needed a friend, what with my family being so far away and all my other friends still thinking E’s and vodka make a great night out. Particularly when I couldn’t even think about vodka without throwing up. Asking about your background wasn’t really on my list of things to do, not when I had a waistline the size of Montana and a memory like . . . what do they call those things that have holes in?’

‘Honestly, Rosie, there’s no secrets.’ I bent down to retrieve a dropped spoon, taking care to hide my expression behind my hair. ‘I’ve led a very boring life and I came to York to start selling my belt buckles and jewellery in a city where I thought there’d be more opportunities. That’s all.’

Rosie gave me a long look. ‘I’ve known you for, what, eighteen months now? And you’ve always been a good friend, always stood by me. And, after last night, I owe you one. But you can’t blame me for being curious, Jem. I’m sorry if you think I’m prying.’

I gave her a quick hug. ‘Nah. I’m just hiding my ordinariness and mundanity by being inscrutable, that’s all.’

From the next room came the sound of an enormous fart and Jason saying, ‘Whoah, sorry mate. Forgot you was there, like,’ and Harry gurgling.

Rosie began spooning up her cereal. ‘I take back everything. I wouldn’t want you going out with that. Unless you had your own wind-turbine, then he’d save you a fortune.’

‘It’s got to be his looks they go for. Surely. It’s not his urbane manner, that’s for certain.’

Jason came into the kitchen with Harry tucked in front of him. Harry was beaming as though he’d seen the funniest thing ever. ‘Two blokes in need of breakfast coming through.’

‘Do you always fart like that first thing in the morning?’ Rosie pushed the muesli packet towards Jason and began to unbutton her blouse.

He winked. ‘Wouldn’t you like to know darling.’

Rosie and I did a joint grimace. ‘Er, no.’

‘Anyway, ladies, I better run, catch meself some shut-eye before today kicks off. If you’ve not got any bacon?’

‘No, sorry.’ And Rosie raised herself on tiptoe and gave Jason a kiss on the cheek. ‘Thanks for last night, Jason.’

Jason turned his head slowly and gave her a lip-smacking snog which went on until Harry, deprived of his promised feed, squawked. ‘Don’t mention it, babe.’ And with a leer that was probably visible from Lancashire, he let himself out of the cottage.

Rosie was even pinker. ‘Bloody hell,’ she said. ‘Sorry, Harry but, bloody hell!’ She breathed out until her fringe rose several inches. ‘I think I just found out how he gets all those girls.’ She sat down on one of the little stools and clasped Harry to her chest.

‘Good was it?’

She blew again. ‘Phew. Put it this way, if I didn’t feel like I could launch jumbo-jets out of my lower regions, I’d give him a go.’ She looked down at Harry’s busily sucking face. ‘If he’d promise not to speak.’

‘Or fart.’

She patted Harry’s bottom. ‘So. Are you down at the workshop today or what?’

‘Thought I’d go back into town. Have another crack at Saskia maybe.’

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