Page 60 of Taken By the Shadow Prince

Mavey

a revelation and a crisis

Ellis finds me after I’ve made a tonic to quell the tears that wouldn’t stop escaping me. I’ve dried them up, for now. It should last long enough for me to get myself under control again.

I never cried before Armin.

That’s how I know I made the right decision.

Ellis seems surprised when he realizes the demon isn’t with me. “Where is he?”

I shrug. “Don’t care.”

The tonic? Also good for numbing emotions. Good for days like this.

Unfortunately, it can’t quite cover up the overwhelming guilt I feel. I get that a lot of what I said might have been unfounded—but not all of it. No, even the lies were based on truths, but those lies are the only way I could have gotten him to walk away. Armin’s far too stubborn to leave easily.

And so is Ellis. But I really don’t want to be alone right now, and so I find that I’m grateful for my twin as he flops down onto my bed beside me and says, “I’ll do my best not to think about all the action this bed has seen lately.”

“The blankets are all clean.”

I had them changed immediately after he left.

“Good,” he says. Ellis moves around until he’s gotten comfortable and then says, “Tell me everything.”

“Not in the mood,” I reply, keeping my eyes fixed on the ceiling, on the crown molding that decorates the borders of it. It’s easier if I don’t see him.

And he knows that. “Look at me, Mavey.”

“Pass.”

Ellis huffs out a breath, and a second later, his face is inches in front of mine. “Tell me what happened. You’re sulking, and it’s not a good look on you.”

I roll my eyes and push him away from my face with the palm of my hand before sitting up. “And nosiness looks terrible on you.”

“Don’t be absurd,” he says, waving a hand through the air. “It compliments my eyes. Now spit it out.”

As always, I am powerless against my brother.

So, of course, I do what he says. I tell him everything, about what I said to Armin, about the tonic, and the guilt that is doing its damndest to drown me right now. “He said he loved me, and I kicked him out.”

“To be fair,” Ellis says, “You don’t owe him anything.” He pauses. “But... doyou? Love him, I mean?”

“No,” I snap. “Of course not.” The words come out baldly, like dull knives against soft flesh.

Meaning that nothing about them cuts as deeply as they should. They feel like blank words.

Ellis studies me for a long moment. “Then why do you feel so guilty?” He finally asks. “I don’t get it.”

“Because I was a bitch.”

Ellis laughs and shakes his head. “Yeah, so? Mavey, you’ve never given a shit. You’ve never beennice,not to most people. Not to any of us—besides Mair, though I can’t exactly say that’s odd, since she’s our Queen. But still. For the most part, you don’t give a shit. So what’s different about Armin? What makes you feel guilty about what you said to him?”

His words sink deep inside of me, settling into my stomach.

“Shit,” I breathe.

“I’ll ask you again, Mav. Do you love him?”

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