Page 33 of Beautiful Vows

So here I am, adrift in paradise, yet tethered by invisible chains.

Though, I admit, it's not the worst place to be.

The Whitsundays come alive around me, a picturesque tapestry of turquoise waters and lush islands—a stark departure from the darkness that is plaguing my life.

The yacht itself is a floating palace—all sleek lines and luxurious finishes. Teak decks warm under my bare feet, while the sun’s rays dance off the polished chrome. Inside, plush sofas and state-of-the-art technology offer every comfort.

It’s a beautiful prison, but a temporary one.

I know I can’t stay forever. But right now, the place offers solitude, but is definitely not a solution.

My hand rests on my belly. The slight swell beneath my fingertips is a constant reminder of the precious lives growing inside me.

After everything I’ve endured—the manipulation, the betrayals, the shattering of my identity—these babies are my anchor, my reason to live, my reason to fight.

And I want to fight. To finish what I started, but I want these babies more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. And that both surprises and grounds me.

I have to work out what I do now. But one thing I do is promise to protect them with my life.

I sigh as I think about my mom. She carved out a space where her girls could grow unsullied by the surrounding shadows. But here we are—all three of her girls are deep in the mafia's belly and the people she gave her life to save us from.

She gave up her life for me.

My shoulders sag and I exhale deeply as the sun begins its descent, painting the horizon in molten gold and blood-red. The impact of what I’ve learned crashes over me like a rogue wave.

My heart aches as the realization of everything hits me with such force that I slam my hand over my mouth to contain the primal cry escaping my lips.

Tears stream down my face, heated and sharp, as I remember the image on the screen: my mother, young, beautiful and oh so brave, choosing death to secure my freedom.

My back aches as I weep as I remember her words. Of her last memory of me, being when I cried when she held me for one last time.

Did she memorize my scent?

Did she hesitate as she thought of her girls, even for a heartbeat, before making her eventual choice?

I sob until my throat is raw and my eyes sting.

I sob until there’s nothing left but a deep, hollow ache.

The sun has set now, leaving me in the twilight as dark as my emotions.

So much grief and anger at everyone for allowing her death to happen. But strangely, I feel so much love and gratitude that she would do something so final, all because she adored her daughters.

As I cradle my belly, I can feel the tiny movements of the lives I am nurturing, bringing me a sense of comfort and purpose. The lives I now have to protect with my life.

“Your nonna,” I whisper to them, my voice cracking, “she loved me so much that she gave me her life. I... I don’t know if I can be that brave. But I’ll try. I’ll always try.”

My mind wanders to their father. Not sure why when I haven’t seen him since the day in the hospital. I’m not sure how he feels about me now. Maybe he feels betrayed that I kept his babies a secret.

I stretch my legs before I rise and make my way inside the luxurious cabin.

I ache for Dante—his warmth, his strength, the way he looks at me like I’m the only real thing in his world. The way we were in Las Vegas.

Not that it matters. I can’t stay with Dante. And Rafe and Cade only want what's inside me.

The thought alone is like a knife to my heart. I thought Cade was like me, the outsider who wasn’t wanted. I thought Rafe got me; he helped me so much, but now I know it was all a lie.

But Dante held me like he loved me.

---