Page 48 of The Long Walk Back

Kate threw the contents of her glass down her throat, waving her finger teasingly at the waiter, who blushed and started to walk over.

‘Sometimes, I can’t tell whether I just married Brad, or adopted them both. Let’s get pissed, eh? The awards are bound to be sooo dull.’

Kate was about to answer when she felt hands touch her bare shoulders. She looked up and Cooper was there. He dropped a tender kiss on her lips, licking his own after.

‘Hmm, champagne,’ he murmured, smiling at her. He looked pale, and she could see the pain in his eyes, but she didn’t show any reaction. She reached up and ran her palm along his cheek. He turned and kissed it. Whatever else happened, they had this. She let the touch of her warm him, soothe him in their own special way.

‘Did I hear talk of getting drunk?’ Hightower said, flopping into the chair next to Ruth, almost spilling his pint into her lap. She swatted at him, and he pretended to snap at her with his teeth. She rolled her eyes, putting her hand on his knee. Cooper sat down next to her, motioning to the long-suffering waiter. Kate flashed him an apologetic smile. The poor guy looked relieved that they had men sitting with them.

Ruth leaned forward, laughing. ‘He thinks we’re cougars,’ she said. Brad cracked out laughing. Cooper looked annoyed, and Kate laughed, despite herself.

‘Keep your pants on, Coop, the woman is not for turning,’ Ruth said, and Cooper stuck his tongue out.

‘Good,’ he said, putting his arm around her. ‘Because I think she’s already spoken for.’ He leaned in, giving her a kiss on her cheek, and whispered in her ear. ‘What’s going on? Is this you seeing sense?’ He looked at her and she saw the hopeful optimism in his green eyes. ‘Are you going to try?’

‘I want to but I don’t want to drag you into some part-time thing. I have work, and Jamie.’

His eyes narrowed. ‘So all this has been about protecting me, because you think you have baggage?’ He spoke low, but their friends were engrossed in conversation anyway, giving them space.

‘Yes,’ Kate said. ‘I asked you to live your life, to fight, and you did. I don’t want to get in the way of that.’

Cooper nodded, dropping a kiss onto her lips. ‘Okay. Good to know.’

The night went a little smoother from there. Cooper seemed to relax a little, and Kate was aware of his presence near her at all times. He always made an excuse to touch her in some way, his hand on hers, or the brush of his arm against the top of her own. She felt as though he wanted to say something to her, but couldn’t find the words. She could relate. They skirted around each other with their bodies instead, doing a silent dance that made Kate’s every nerve ending tingle. Ruth and Brad were a great couple, and if they picked up on anything amiss between their dinner companions, they didn’t show it. They laughed and joked through dinner, the other people at their table all being swept along with the conversation. Ruth was a hoot, and Brad’s one-liners and her witty retorts made the whole table erupt with laughter.

The meal was beautiful and the wine was flowing. Kate didn’t want to lose her head, but after drinking with Ruth earlier, she was feeling a tad on the tipsy side. Looking at Cooper, she tried to see if he was on her wavelength but she just couldn’t tell. He looked like the same old Cooper, steady as a rock.

Soon the meal was over, and the speeches part of the evening was underway. The whole room fell silent, but Kate noticed a good few of the men in uniform gravitated to the bar. Dutch courage. Cooper looked across at them, and then at Brad. Brad said nothing but kissed Ruth on the cheek and stood up from the table. Walking over to the bar, the men saw him coming and parted for him. Kate glanced over at Cooper, and he was looking right at her.

‘Our bit’s up next. The guys at the bar are my unit. I’ll introduce you later.’ He clenched his jaw and Kate reached for his hand. He grabbed at it, gripping it tight. ‘Thanks for being here.’

Kate reached up and touched his face with her palm. He turned his face to kiss it, and she felt the graze of stubble against her skin. ‘I wouldn’t be anywhere else.’

He smiled at her, and she realised the look he was giving her was something she had seen many times from him before. Today though, she knew what it meant. The man was in love. With her. Had been for a while. He was still right there with her, and she knew that after tonight, she wouldn’t let him go. She’d love him for the rest of her life, come what may.

‘Next on the agenda this evening,’ the announcer’s voice cut through the room. ‘We honour a man who has a decorated service record and has done no less than three tours in overseas conflict, and countless other missions, leading his own crack unit. In the last tour of Iraq, his unit came under heavy fire. The officer’s quick actions saved the unit, civilians, and lessened the loss of life. We honour him tonight, and also the loss of one of his officers, Sergeant Smith. Adam Smith gave his life for the safety and protection of our country, and we are humbled to share the honouring of these men with their families. Tonight, we honour the late Adam Smith, and Captain Thomas Cooper. Thomas, could you come up here please?’

Kate felt his hand tighten around hers, and then it was gone.

The announcer seemed to be studying his notes intently, and he blustered a little.

‘I don’t know… er… do we need to… does someone want to give Mr Cooper some assistance to the stage?’

In the darkness of the room, Kate could see the guests looking nervously around them, and she couldn’t see Cooper. Her heart was in her mouth. She looked at Ruth, but she was looking at the stage. Kate scanned the bar frantically, her blonde hair coming loose a little from her pin up. She looked at the faces but they were all facing a spot halfway between her and the stage. She looked to where they were pointing and there he was. He was walking towards the stage, shoulders back straight. The murmur of voices around the room buzzed louder, till the announcer waved his hands to quieten them down. Of course, the crowd ignored him, so he kept flapping his hands ineffectually.

The audience were all transfixed, clapping and following the man whose presence swelled the room itself, but Kate didn’t see any of that. All she saw was Cooper. Her Cooper. His face looked relaxed, a smile playing on his lips as he walked slowly but confidently across the room towards the stage. To the onlookers, he was a symbol of hope, out there proving to people that people survived, people endured. The protective surge of love she felt in her heart felt like it was going to knock her off her feet. She was glad to be sat on a chair, gripping the back rest for dear life. He neared the stage and Kate wanted to scoop him up from the world and put him in her pocket. He was hers and she had never loved anything or anyone more in her life, aside from Jamie. She could see his jaw flexing and she wondered how nervous and terrified he actually was, walking up to that stage in front of his family. His real family, the one he had never had as a child. She wondered if he was glad to be alive, even in that moment. He had lost so much, but did he truly see now what he had gained?

He made the stairs easily, the sounds of the applause from the crowd ringing in his ears.

He shook the announcer’s hand, moving to the front of the podium. Two awards stood next to the microphone, each depicting a soldier in full kit, standing to attention. Cooper stood looking at them for a moment, before reaching out to pick one up.

He held it out in his fist, nodding towards Smithy’s family.

‘Having a piece of metal and plastic in your house as a reward for someone giving his life always seemed a little crass to me.’ The audience fell silent, and Kate held her breath. Glancing across at Hightower, she saw his lips twitch. She knew what he was thinking. Typical Cooper. She looked back to him, and they locked eyes. Kate felt the familiar slam in his chest as she looked at him, and she mouthed, ‘I love you’, before she could even think about it. He smiled broadly at her, causing a few people to turn their heads towards her. She kept her eyes on him, ignoring the inquisitive looks she could feel on her face. He looked again at Smithy’s wife and took a breath.

‘It might sound harsh, what I just said, when I’m the one standing here, and Smithy isn’t. The truth is, losing him was unbearable to me, for a long time, as it was for many others sitting here. Losing a brother is something that I dreaded the most. It’s why we’re all there, fighting for our families, and to keep each other safe. Smithy was a great soldier, and I couldn’t save him, and that’s something that I can’t forgive myself for.’ His voice broke a little, and Kate’s eyes welled up. She dug her nails into her palms as hard as she could. She would not cry, she would be strong, a solid support system for him. Just like he had been for her and Jamie all these months.

‘Awards never meant much to me before that day, and today I stand here saying thank you – for me, and for Smithy. I know he would have got a kick out of this, and I know his family are proud. I’m honoured to have known him, and the rest of my team.’ He put down the award and picked up its matching partner, running his finger along the gold plaque at the base.

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