Page 45 of The Long Walk Back

‘It seems we’re here; he must be renting?’

Kate shrugged. ‘I don’t know, maybe.’

Milly was staring at something through the window of the house. She looked haunted; she had all morning since Kate had broken the news. Roger kept shooting her worried glances, and Kate once again silently cursed her feckless ex-husband for being such a coward. Not that she was any better. She had just stamped all over Cooper’s heart, and her chance of being a family with a man she loved. The first and only man she had ever truly loved and cared for.

Roger nodded to himself and squeezed his wife’s hand.

‘Come on then, let’s go and see our son.’

The knock at the door caused a dog to bark, and the three of them shifted from foot to foot as they heard shuffling coming from inside. The door opened, a woman’s voice ringing out.

‘Barney, sshh! I’m sorry, he’s no guard dog, I can tell you. Might lick you to death, though.’

The woman was pretty, Kate could see from over Roger’s shoulder. She recognised her from the company profile page, although they had never met. Funny how someone you’d never even spoken to could have such a reach in your life.

She was looking at Roger and Milly expectantly, her face so open and friendly. She obviously had no idea who they were. Kate decided to test a theory. Stepping forward, out from behind Roger, she flashed a smile. The woman’s smile vanished, her eyes darting from face to face.

‘Hi,’ Kate trilled. ‘Is my ex-husband here?’

The woman paled. ‘Er, yes he is… just, er… I’m sorry – I’ll get him.’

‘You do that.’

The woman turned to head back into the house, but was cut off by a figure. Neil was standing there, a look of shock plastered across his features.

Kate grinned at him, feeling her chest hammering with the simmering anger she felt inside. If he hadn’t got his pregnant partner standing next to him, she felt sure she could have launched herself at him like a wildcat. All teeth and fur flying. She wanted to rip him apart.

‘Hi. I came to talk about your firstborn. Remember him?’

Neil flapped his lips like a fish struggling for breath, and the woman swiftly disappeared into a room, closing the door behind her. Neil didn’t seem to know what to do with his arms, he kept crossing and uncrossing them. Milly started to cry, and Roger put his arm around her.

‘Neil?’ he said to his son. ‘I think you had better let us in, unless you want to do this on your doorstep.’

Neil looked at his dad and moved aside. ‘Come in.’

The room was clean and tidy, decorated in light tones and with minimal clutter. It was actually quite homely, even Kate had to acknowledge it was a nice home. Her home, Kate could tell. Her husband had landed right on his feet. In one corner of the room, she could see a baby play gym boxed up in the corner. Milly was at the mantelpiece, a picture of the pair of them in her hands. Neil was standing at the doorway, as though he needed to be near the exit. Typical Neil. Roger sat in the chair, looking around the room in obvious disgust. Kate perched herself on the end of the sofa.

‘Mum?’ Neil ventured. Milly turned to look at him, thrusting the frame in his direction. Neil threw her a rueful smile, but the usually quiet woman exploded.

‘Don’t you smile at me, you disgusting man. You left your son fighting for his life while you ran to the side of your pregnant fancy piece?’

‘Mum, it wasn’t like that. What could I do? Jamie had people with him. I was in bad shape. When I got the call in the car telling me she was pregnant, I panicked. The doctors sent me home, so I came here. I didn’t cheat, Mum, Kate and I were over. I made a mistake. I lost control of the car when she told me. I caused the accident. I came here to check on things, and when I went back and told Kate, she kicked me out! I had to make a choice.’

Kate snorted. ‘Oh, you made that alright, but you seem to have made all the wrong choices since. I made you leave because I was angry, but I tried to get in touch with you. You packed up your shit before Jamie was even out of danger. I came home that night to an empty house! You should have been there. Not for me, for him!’

‘I’m sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I can’t even look Jamie in the face. I thought he’d heard, in the car. I panicked, the car came out of nowhere, or I swerved.’ He was rambling now, looking from face to face and finding no sympathy. ‘I fucked up. I want to be there for him. I call him, but I can’t face him. I can’t tell him this, I can’t. I put him in that chair. I was lonely, and you were in Iraq – I?—’

‘I don’t want to hear it. I just came to tell you that I’m not covering for you any more. I have Jamie covered, but you need to step up and own…’ She waved her hands around her. ‘This. We were done a long time ago, Neil, and all I want from you is that.’ She turned to his parents, who looked like they were about to pass out. ‘Roger, Milly, I’m sorry it had to happen like this. I’ll make my own way home.’

She was halfway down the drive when Neil came after her. He grabbed her arm, and she pushed him off.

‘Get the hell off me!’ she screamed, pushing him hard in the chest. Neil dropped back, holding his hands up in surrender.

‘I’m sorry! I get it, I just wanted to know if Jamie is okay?’

His words earned him a slap around the face. She slapped him as hard as she could, and he took it. They both stood there, breathing hard. Kate’s hand stung from the slap. It felt good. She wished she could do it again, but she had the feeling she wouldn’t stop. No good for anyone.

‘How dare you ask me that? I know I sent you away, but when I found out you were distracted on that call, and why? I lost it. I’d just stepped off a plane from a warzone! I was blindsided, angry. Upset. You should have done better. Been better, taken better care of him. You guilt-tripped me for weeks when I was working out there, and you were doing what? Shagging your colleague? Neil, you caused that crash, and then you left our son alone while you went to see your new family. Who does that?’

---