Page 41 of The Long Walk Back

We both laughed, till the pain in my leg started again, and I fell silent.

‘You met my doctor? She’s a real piece of work. You should ask her to lead you. She is properly bloodthirsty.’ He gave me a look that kept me from saying more.

In our years of working together, Hightower and I have learnt to read each other so well that a look, an eye roll, speaks volumes to each other. He is the brother I never got to have in real life. In more ways than one. Sometimes, there are things thicker than blood in this life. Family is formed, not always born.

Sitting back in his chair, he folded one leg up and rested one ankle of top of his knee. His boot scraped against the side of the bed, brushing dust onto the white sheet. It looked all the darker against the clean cotton.

‘You need to quit being a pain in the ass. I know what you’re thinking, and you can’t blame her.’ What Hightower said to me then stayed with me, even though I buried it. Knowing what I know now, it makes perfect sense.

‘Coop,’ he said, fixing a glare on me that pinned me to the bed. ‘She saved you for a reason. You can’t blame her for doing her job. She’s here to save lives, just like us. We’re in the same line of work.’

I said nothing. What could I say? By that time I was too far gone in my anger. You know by now, I can be stubborn when I want to be.

‘She’s like you, and you haven’t even noticed yet. It was like talking to you, speaking with her. Same stubborn attitude. This happened for a reason, Cooper. Don’t give up.’

You see? Even then, people knew better than I did.

Later that night, Kate was reading Harry Potter to Jamie in his room. They had started it before she went away, and tonight was the first night since the accident that he had even mentioned a book. She had sent the nurse away, and she and Cooper had taken him to his room, where he had played Star Wars till his eyelids had started to droop. He was full of chatter after his day out, and Cooper matched his enthusiasm, talking about superheroes. Arguing, truth be told. Apparently, Cooper had an intense dislike of Thor. Jamie found this hilarious. Once Jamie was looking thoroughly ready for a good sleep, Cooper had said goodbye, saying he was headed to the gym.

Kate knew he was giving them space to talk. Jamie had let her bathe him and help him with his PJs. The small actions of helping her son get ready for bed almost made her weep for the past. She wondered how she’d ever moaned about the minutiae of life, the daily routines of raising a child. She’d always thought that she needed to blaze a trail in the world, but maybe she just had to look after her son. Help him live a normal life. Or even an extraordinary one.

‘Mum, where’s Dad? Grandma and Granddad kept changing the subject. I don’t think they wanted to tell me.’ Kate’s brows lifted in surprise but she soon recovered. Maybe they did care about him. Enough to shield him from the harsh truth at least. Maybe they didn’t know the truth. It certainly seemed that way today.

‘Your dad loves you,’ she said, settling him under the duvet. She ruffled his hair, smoothing it to one side with her hand. It was still damp from his bath, and she could see the drying curls of hair at the back of his head. He looked up at her from the pillow, and his little eyes broke her heart. ‘He will always love you. It’s just that sometimes, things are complicated for grown-ups. I promise you, one day it will all make sense. For now, I just want you to concentrate on getting better.’

Jamie nodded. Kate waited for him to ask something else, but he just sagged against the pillows. Kate got up to leave then, tip-toeing across the dimly lit room, but a voice stopped her.

‘Mum, will you read to me? We have the books from our old house now.’

Kate was still facing the door, and she blinked away the tears that threatened to spill out.

‘Sure,’ she said, walking to the bookshelf. ‘I’d like that very much.’

Kate hadn’t been back in her room long before she heard a soft knock at her door. She was in a black vest top and soft white cotton shorts, her hair still in a towel from her own shower. She was sat cross-legged on her bed, bungalow listings spread out on the covers.

‘Kate, you there?’ His quiet voice sounded concerned. She uncurled her limbs, heading for the door. Opening it, she looked down to see him, expecting him to be in his chair, but her eyes landed on his hips. She flushed and heard a chuckle. ‘You know, I have a face. You can’t treat a man like a piece of meat.’

He had one arm on the door jamb, looking every inch the cocky soldier she once thought him to be. Kate looked down the corridor beyond him.

‘Someone will see me out here. You should invite me in.’

Kate looked at Cooper, but he just stood there grinning back at her.

‘And they won’t talk if I have a patient in my room?’ She countered, stepping back to let him in. He strode in, watching her check the corridor once more and lock the door. The room was quiet, and the silence seemed to register for them both at the same time. Cooper looked around the room, settling his gaze on the papers strewn on the bed.

‘I didn’t mean to disturb you,’ he nodded towards them. ‘I just wanted to see if you were okay, after today. What did Jamie say? Did he ask about his Dad?’

Kate went to run her fingers through her hair as she composed the words and felt the towel. She pulled it from her head, fanning out her hair. ‘Sorry, I look a mess. We didn’t talk about it much. He has questions, and as yet, I don’t know how to answer them.’

She folded the towel over the radiator, pushing her still-damp hair off her face. Cooper made no move to come closer, and she knew he was trying to be there for her. She hated that she had dragged him into this too. He had enough to deal with.

‘Listen, Cooper,’ she began.

‘Don’t.’ His voice was so low she didn’t trust what she had heard at first.

‘What?’

‘Don’t. I know what you’re going to do, and I am saying no. If you want to end this because you don’t like me, then fine. Otherwise, the answer is no.’

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