Page 25 of The Long Walk Back

‘Good. Should be an easy transition then, when you see other patients too.’ Kate smiled, but it soon dropped when she thought about her time with Cooper changing. It wouldn’t be the same not seeing him every day, and he was the one thing that had made any dent on Jamie’s depression at all. When she put her plan into action, she would need all the help she could get, and she couldn’t pretend even to herself that Cooper hadn’t featured in her thoughts for the future. She just didn’t know how that would work, let alone in what capacity. Trevor must have sensed her discomfort, and he pulled her back, his arms gripping the top of her shoulders.

‘You sure you’re okay?’

She sighed and looked at her mentor. ‘I’m good. I never thanked you, either. For the job, for helping with Jamie. I know I was a mess.’

‘Hey,’ Trevor shrugged. ‘That’s what friends are for.’

She pulled him in for another hug. As she looked over his shoulder, she saw something move out of the corner of her eye, but before she could look, it was gone.

‘I’d better get changed.’

After saying goodbye to Trevor, she headed for her room. Her mind was buzzing with the prospect of an evening out, but she needed to put her plan into action first. Reaching into the pocket of her trousers, she pulled out a piece of paper. Dialling the number written on it into her phone, she held her breath as the call connected.

‘Hello,’ she said, willing her voice not to shake. ‘I need to hire your services.’

14

Leaving her room later that evening, Kate felt like a baby deer, navigating her way down the hallway on her new limbs. The contents of the second dress bag and shoe box scared her more than the first, and it had taken her ages to will herself to get ready. Cooper had told her that afternoon to be ready for 7p.m., but she hadn’t spoken to him since, and it was ten past seven now. The dress she was wearing was exquisite, with a designer tag that had made Kate blush. It was a deep, midnight blue, cut from layers of silk that clung to her form. Kate was grateful that she hadn’t quite gone to seed since being there. It felt amazing against her skin, and she had even managed to dig out half-decent underwear from her meagre belongings. The dress was strapless, but fitted around her chest perfectly, not showing too much of her ample bosom, and the long skirt swished as she walked to the main doors.

Jamie was having a pizza and movie night with Rita, who stayed on site some nights to save herself the long commute. Kate wondered what her son would make of her dressed like this. She stumbled on her heels as she thought of what Cooper might say when she saw her, but she reached for the railing, steadying herself. Lifting her dress slightly, she frowned at her shoes. They were stilettos, the same shade of blue as her dress, encrusted with intricate crystals around the sides. She rubbed at her heel, unaccustomed to wearing such nice things. She righted herself, and half-jogged, half-limped to the main entrance as the clock on the corridor struck quarter past. She was never late, and she found herself anxious to see Cooper again. And then she saw him and her heart screeched to a halt, her breath seizing in her throat.

He was in his chair, sitting sideways on to her, looking towards the outside at the waiting minibus. He was wearing a navy-blue suit, the white shirt bringing out the green in his eyes. His hair was freshly washed, cut into a fashionable style. It suited him, and Kate found herself wanting to touch it. She flexed her hands in reflex, tightening them around the tiny matching clutch she held, containing some money, a lippie and her phone, in case Jamie needed her. She looked again at Cooper, and locked onto his green eyes. She smiled, butterflies exploding in her stomach, and made to walk to him quicker, but his expression made her falter. He looked furious, anger evident in the set of his jaw and the flash of his eyes. He was trying to hide it, she could tell, and he eventually relaxed a fraction, returning a slight smile. She felt his eyes take her in, and saw his expression change again. She knew just what he was thinking now, and she tried to mask her own reaction of confusion. The want in his eyes was evident, and even though she didn’t understand his mood, she took a little satisfaction from the fact that he obviously approved of her outfit.

‘You’re late,’ he growled, nodding his head towards the waiting minibus.

‘I’m sorry, not used to heels,’ she replied sadly. She had hoped that they were finally getting somewhere, but she could see that the carefree man of this afternoon was gone again. She walked closer to him, and he didn’t look at her, focusing intently on the doors.

‘I’m sorry,’ she ventured again, but he just shook his head.

‘Doesn’t matter,’ he retorted gruffly.

They walked awkwardly towards the doors, and as she opened the doors wide for him, she noticed he had two legs. Two. He looked like a different person, just for a moment. She resisted the urge to squeal at him, and composed herself as he came past. He was wearing his prosthetic. As he settled himself into the minibus, the driver packing up his chair, she sat next to him gingerly. He didn’t look at her, focusing instead on the view outside the window. She glanced at his feet, encased in matching black dress shoes, and wondered how he would look, stood up in his smart clothes. She felt a pang as she thought of him out in the world; walking, running, dating, living his life before serving his country had torn it apart. What sort of man was he, before? She caught the odd glimpse, the cheeky humour, the daredevil streak, but that was all choked now, wrapped in tendrils of anger.

It was getting dark, fetching shades of crimson and orange splashed across the sky against the remnants of the paler hue of the dying blue horizon. She clenched her fist and braved another look at him as they pulled away. His head turned quickly, his jaw tensing as he stared out of the window. Had he been watching her? His jaw twitched as if in response to her unspoken question.

‘Are you at least going to tell me where we’re going, all dressed up?’ she asked, her words clipped. He flinched at her tone, and turning to look at her, the look in his eyes made the blood in her veins freeze. It was a look of pure pain, anger. She didn’t know whether to hug him or run for the hills screaming. ‘Cooper, what on earth is the matter?’

His lip curled in disgust. ‘Boyfriend not tell you about the party?’

She frowned, the confusion on her face evident. ‘What boyfriend?’

He didn’t answer, his green eyes seemingly pleading with her to tell him something. She just didn’t understand what. She could feel her face redden, and hot tears sting her eyes. The first night out in forever, and she was sat all dressed up, not wanting to cry in front of this beautiful, broken man. A single tear escaped as she bit her lips, and she wiped it away quickly. The driver kept going, seemingly oblivious to the angry exchange in the back. Cooper’s expression softened, and he pursed his lips, blowing out a frustrated breath.

‘Kate, for God’s sake…’

‘I don’t understand why you’re angry with me!’ she cried, her voice quivering from the effort of reining in her emotions. Had Jamie talked to him about his dad? His wording had confused her. ‘Neil has nothing to do with you!’

Cooper’s jaw dropped. ‘Who the hell is Neil?’

‘My husband! He’s not in the picture any more, and I don’t want to talk about it! Who told you, anyway?’

Cooper looked stricken. ‘You’re still married?’ It came out more like a deflated statement than a question.

‘No, of course not. We haven’t been together since I left for Iraq. He moved out the night of the… the night I got back. I haven’t seen him since. The stupid bastard can’t be bothered to deal with all the shit he caused. He calls Jamie once a week, if that. So no, Cooper, my “boyfriend” didn’t tell me about any stupid party. And thanks for ruining a night I was really looking forward to.’ She let out a frustrated growl, covering her face with her hands.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said after an age. ‘I didn’t know about all that.’

She rounded on him. ‘No, because I didn’t tell anyone.’ Her eyes narrowed as she replayed his anger, his words. Boyfriend. ‘If you didn’t know, then what were you mad about?’

---