Page 16 of The Long Walk Back

‘Her,’ I growled at him. ‘Why have her as my therapist? She’s a surgeon isn’t she?’

‘Yes, and a damn fine one.’ Trevor looked straight at me, and I could see his jaw flexing under his skin. He was hiding something, I knew it.

‘It just strikes me as weird, to put me with her. I threatened to sue her, and you assign me to her roster? Why is she even doing this job? How does a surgeon go from doing that to this?’

Trevor rubbed his hand down the length of his jaw, tapping his fingers on his chin. ‘I needed to fill a job, Kate took it.’

‘That’s it?’ I asked, annoyed by his evasive answer.

‘Yep. She’s more than qualified,’ he replied. ‘She started out in physio before becoming a surgeon.’

‘That doesn’t answer my question.’

‘I’ve worked with her on and off for years,’ he added. ‘There’s nothing more to it.’ Fine, play it that way. ‘I just ask,’ he continued, ‘that you give her a shot. She can help you, but you have to cut her some slack, give her a chance.’

I looked down at my legs in the chair instinctively. Whenever I thought of Kate in a favourable way, whenever I thought of the way she held my hand, or talked to me in that soft whispering voice, I took one look at my leg and reminded myself that she was the reason I was still here, on this planet, like this. I would have preferred to just go out, just let the injuries and the pain take me away. End of. Nice army burial, with my comrades. Not this. I had turned from a happy, committed guy to a bitter old man, all in the space of a few months. Pity party for one, anybody? Who wants to see that? I was a lost cause, sentenced to this chair and a life of regrets and loneliness. The thing was, whenever I looked at Kate, I saw my own fears mirrored in her face, in her haunted, tired eyes, and that stirred something in me. It reminded me of her words that day, telling me to fight, and the pain on her face when she talked about her son. And now she was here, and Trevor was giving me mixed messages. Why put us together if he was worried about protecting her?

I folded my arms, resting my elbows on my chair. I realised Trevor was waiting for me to speak, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of acting like I was interested. I didn’t know how to play this yet, but that was my business. Kate intrigued me, and the truth was that I wanted to see her again. I couldn’t put my finger on the reason why just yet. Trevor cracked.

‘Look, I know you’re having issues dealing with the changes in your life since the explosion. Anyone would struggle, but you have to let someone in to help you. I really believe that Kate could be the one to do that. She is the only one I have ever seen you take any notice of, and despite your short and complicated history, I think this will work. I just ask that you bear in mind, she has her own scars to bear. Don’t be a complete jerk.’

I laughed out loud before I could even think about being mad. Trevor looked surprised and bemused at my outburst, which made me laugh even more. I went for the door, still laughing as I went. As I pressed the button for the door, I turned back to him.

‘Trevor, I will be a perfect gent. I promise.’

I could hear Trevor’s disbelieving chuckle in reply as I headed to my room. For the rest of the night, I thought about those scars. I needed to know the answers, and if I kicked her off my physio, I wasn’t going to get them. Trevor knew what he was doing, I’d give him that. Missy was under my skin, whether I liked it or not. I’d play the game for now. It wasn’t like I had anything else to do with my time. After a shower, a change of clothes and some food, I went to bed, flicking the buttons on the remote to try and find something to watch. I needed to see if this place had a library. The battered paperback I brought with me had long been read, and I was beyond bored with the incessant drone of the television. After the fourth celebrity advert promoting their latest workout DVD, I turned off the TV, giving up. I reached for the overbed tray and picked up the tatty book. Nestled amongst the pages was a well-thumbed piece of paper. Self-consciously flicking my eyes to the closed front door, I opened the paper gently. Kate’s words, now imprinted in my brain, danced across the page in her hurried scrawl. I had looked at this paper so many times now that I could probably recite it word for word, and it always gave me comfort when I did. Maybe you want her here, Coop. I ran my thumb along the grooves on the paper, where she had pressed pen to paper hard to sign her name. I refolded the letter and tucked it back into its hiding place. Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to think of something else, but my mind soon wandered back to thoughts of Kate, and her son. Well, Coop, you heard him. Time to stop being a complete jerk. Or try at least.

9

Kate flew through her paperwork that evening, and eventually collapsed into a heap after her usual nightly routine. The day after her first session with Captain Cooper, she was up, showered and dressed before her alarm clicked into life, and she switched it off on her way out of the door, key card and clipboard in place.

She was on her way to her 9a.m. appointment with Cooper before she realised that she hadn’t yet eaten. Running her hand over her tight bun, she could feel the dryness of her hair, and she sighed dramatically as she walked down the long corridor. Time stood still here; it was a world away from the fast-paced terror and adrenaline of the warzone, and Kate missed that every single day. Here, everything seemed so much slower, bleaker. It was like living in a sterile bubble, away from the real world and all of its colour. The longer she was there, the less like herself she felt. She wore a mask all day long, and the only sanctuary she had was in her room at night, where she was alone. The trouble was, that was the time she dreaded the most, and she couldn’t see a way out, a way through this limbo of isolation and heartbreak. How life changed quickly, she thought to herself. She thought she had problems a few months ago… She would gladly go back and deal with all that now with a song in her heart, rather than the reality of today. Dry hair and her aching husk of a body were the least of her problems.

She was just walking into the therapy suite when Zach, one of the porters, came out. They almost knocked into each other, Zach swerving at the last minute. He was chuckling to himself as he looked at her. ‘Have a good morning, Doc,’ he said, a cheesy grin on his face. Kate watched him walk away, wondering what had tickled him. She opened the door and was greeted by a strange sight. Cooper was sitting at one of the tables, tucking into a bacon sandwich. The smell in the room made her mouth water, and she licked her lips before she could stop herself.

He turned to look at her when the door squeaked her arrival, and he flashed her a grin, or as best a grin he could muster with a mouthful of bacon. He swallowed quickly, motioning her to come in. He pulled out the chair nearest to his wheels and patted the seat.

‘Come on in, Missy. I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I got some fruit too in case you’re a vegetarian or something.’ He said ‘vegetarian’ like some people would say ‘traffic warden’ or ‘herpes’. She stood stock still in the doorway, and he kept his sparkling green eyes on her, raising an eyebrow when she didn’t answer. ‘You going to move, or what?’ He waggled his eyebrows then, producing a tall cup of shop-bought coffee. ‘Caramel latte?’

Kate smiled then, despite herself. The man had got her favourite coffee. Damn him. She walked over to the table, setting her things to one side, and took the large cup gratefully. She took a sip and sighed, relief flowing through her as her body accepted the sweet shot of caffeine. Her eyes closed as she savoured the feeling. When she opened them again, he was looking at her, a look of amusement mixed with something else, something she couldn’t quite work out.

‘Better?’ he asked, his voice gravelly. He licked a dab of tomato sauce from his thumb, and Kate found she had to look away. She could feel her face flushing.

‘Much,’ she nodded. ‘But how did you…’

Cooper tapped the side of his nose. ‘I have my contacts. No way was I going to drink the swill in those machines.’

Kate laughed. Just once, but it was there. It hung in the air between them, a rare sound, and then it was gone. Cooper passed across a brown package, and a sachet each of tomato and brown sauce. ‘Bacon sandwich?’

She reached for the tomato sauce, ripping open the brown paper. ‘Yes please, but brown sauce belongs with sausage sandwiches only.’ Cooper gave her a sideways glance, a funny expression on his face.

‘What?’ she said, taking the first bite of the delicious hot breakfast. She had to stop herself from moaning with pleasure at the taste, after living on the ‘healthy’ food they provided in the centre.

‘Nothing,’ he said, an amused grin betraying his poker face. They sat and ate in companionable silence, and Kate was so hungry and grateful for the food that she found her mood had much improved.

‘So,’ Cooper said. ‘Do you like it here?’

Kate swallowed her mouthful, considering her answer. No, I hate every second of every day, of my entire life. Not the way to go. Yes, because I don’t have to face the world. No, not that either.

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