Page 8 of This is Where I Leave You

“Magda, get a coffee, come sit with me, I will never eat all this.”

Magda did as she was asked, and taking a sip of her own, visibly relaxed.

“Seriously girl, you have been working for me now for almost six months, chill out, ok?” George giggled and patted the maid’s slender arm.

Magda smiled back at her. “Ok. Is deal.”

The sound of the phone startled them both. The machine kicked in, and George’s honeyed tones filled the silence. At the beep, a man’s voice, deep and husky, echoed around the room. “Ah, yes, er, hello. I got your number from the agency, my name is Ben Morton, and I would like to discuss using your services.”

George grinned sheepishly at Magda, and picking up the cordless, walked to the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Magda shrugged and bit into an apricot Danish.

Shrugging, she wolfed down the rest of the stodgy pastry and sat back to finish her coffee. English folk are so strange, she mused.

CHAPTER 10

Cady ran up the clinic steps, heels sploshing beneath her, brolly unfurled above. Standing on the large stone steps, she leant against a pillar and struggled to close it down. For all the good it had done anyway; she was soaked to the skin. Having opted for a smart black skirt suit that morning, her black suede heels were now utterly destroyed and the water squidged beneath her toes as she moved. Her blouse had gone transparent under her black jacket, showing off her white and pink lace bra. Great, now she looked like a street walker picking up free condoms. Her thick red wool coat covered her skirt, but was open at the bust, which only made the effect worse.

She struggled to close the umbrella, ignoring the looks from gawping, equally wet passersby. “Oh feck it!” She finally exclaimed, dragging wet tendrils of hair out of her eyes. Stabbing the umbrella into the nearest bush viciously, she sloshed her way through the double doors.

The clinic was based in a converted old building, all high white ceilings and mosaic tiling. The lobby was huge and quite bare, aside from a two seater couch which was opposite from a glass partitioned reception desk. A door next to the couch had a laminated sign blu-tacked to it, with WAITING ROOM in big black letters. God, I hope no-one I know is behind those doors. Then again, didn’t everyone feel that way in a place like this? Even though family planning does a range of services, tell someone you are ‘off to the clinic’ and everyone suddenly gets a visual of tiny crustaceans crawling round your gusset, right? Time to get this over with.

She straightened herself out and tried to assemble her long hair into some sort of a style. Slinging her oversized handbag at her feet, narrowly missing the small puddle of water that was emanating from her feet, she tapped on the glass partition. The panel slid across and a petite, perky blonde receptionist beamed at her.

“Hello, can I help you?”

Cady squinted against the mega-watt bright smile and returned a slightly dimmer one of her own, licking her lip discreetly as a large droplet of rainwater landed on it from her soaked hair.

“Hi, I have an appointment, Cady..”

“First names are fine dear, we pride ourselves on being discreet here. Take a seat my darling.” Another earth shatteringly wide smile showed off two tight rows of perfect teeth. Cady gurned back at her and walked into the waiting room. It was empty. Thank the Lord. Shaking off her sodden coat, she draped it on the back of a plastic chair nearest the radiator and sat down. Checking her bag, she was relieved that the contents were untouched by the torrential downpour outside. She was glad that Georgina was coming round again with food and a DVD.

Cady smiled at the thought of her friend. Man she had a good job. It might be IT and boring computers all day, but the jetting around was pretty cool. Furthest she had ever been was Lanzarote when she was first with Richard. After that work took off and he never had the time, although he did manage a fair few golfing weekends with the firm. Wives and girlfriends were always invited too, to take up residence in the bar and spa all weekend. Weekends of pure hell, living on wheatgrass juice shoots, being plucked and pummelled like a chicken carcass, and all the time having to listen to ‘the ladies that lunch’ drone on about insolent nannies, incompetent maids and the service at Marks and Spencer’s Food Halls. They lived in a different world, and Cady never wished to travel to that realm. They were like Stepford Wives, and we all know how that ends. No thank you, she thought.

Looking around the white and green painted waiting room, she marvelled at the leaflets on the rack nearby. Scary things jumped out at her, words like genital warts, female condom, and diaphragm. Oh dear God. On the wall next to her was a poster showing a pink penis and balls with a spotty ‘face’ and sad expression. The caption next to it read ‘Will’s spots really hampered his social life.’ Cady laughed out loud before she remembered where she was.

“Cady?”

She jumped at the sound of the voice. A smartly dressed woman in a grey trouser suit had appeared from a door that Cady had not even noticed before.

“Er, yes, sorry.” Cady collected her bag and followed the woman through the door.

“I’m Trudy,” she said as she entered a door marked ‘treatment.’ “Take a seat,” she said, smiling and pointing to a red plastic chair. Cady sat in the chair, suddenly nervous.

“So, how can I help you today?” Trudy was obviously one of these jolly women; you could tell she would be a laugh after a couple of Babychams. Cady cleared her throat.

“Er…hum…he hur..I need a sexual health check; you see my husband has been unfaithful.” Again, she added silently.

Trudy smiled sympathetically, her green eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Right, well first of all we need to do a urine sample.”

“I…er, brought one.” I had a spare piss pot from last time, she added to herself.

“Ah, great stuff,” Trudy replied, snapping on a pair of latex gloves from a box on her desk. “Is it fresh from this morning?”

“Yes,” Cady replied.

“Brilliant.” Trudy took the sample from Cady and taking it out of the La Senza carrier bag (another tell tale sign that she was a lady of the night, Cady grimaced) she dipped a stick into it, leaving it on a napkin on the mahogany surface of the desk.

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