Page 46 of Ashvale: The Vampire's Kiss

Even though Nora and I had shared a moment of missing Rowan, I couldn't say for sure how she'd react if he was awake. Would it send her spiralling again? Would I bring him back here with me? But then, equally, if he wasn't awake, should I tell her that too and risk the spiral of guilt and shame she'd been stuck in before?

It was likely a moot point. Very few vampires survived the transition after having their heart removed, but I couldn't help the small part of my brain that said what if. It was the same voice that had me searching for my family in the dull hope that they were out there, waiting for me.

It would have been much faster if Cal had simply answered his damn phone and taken me to Ashvale. Instead, I’d taken two trains and had opted to run the last leg of the journey on four paws. Out here in the countryside, it was unlikely that I’d bump into anyone and given my performance at court, the wolf was out of the bag as far as the vampiric world was concerned anyway. Still, it’s one thing to hear about the long-lost heir returning and another thing to actually see a large wolf wandering the corridors between classes.

One, awed, vampire had tried to pet me. Thankfully, any other such behaviour was halted by the fingers the vampire in question had lost after running their hand through my fur.

My room still looked the same, a fine layer of dust beginning to form on top of my dresser, and I grabbed some clothes once I was back on two feet again. Was it worth searching Rowan’s room for any books he’d stashed away? I’d suspected that he might have begun putting the pieces of my identity together, but either I was wrong or he just hadn’t told Elowen what he’d known because she’d been truly shocked to see me when I’d barged in on her and Nora in my wolf form.

The trip through the corridors to Rowan’s room was achingly familiar even if Ashvale felt unreasonably bright, compared to the underground gloom at court. Despite what Leonora thought, Rowan and I had been friends longer than we’d ever been more. I hadn’t expected to meet anyone I’d want to befriend, let alone take to my bed, but then there’d been Rowan.

I shook my head free from the memories and braced myself before turning the handle to his door and stepping inside. It had been unlocked, and that was such a blindly trusting Rowan-move that I’d had to stop for a moment and try to breathe through the pain of his betrayal all over again, like it was a wound that had festered instead of healed.

The room was an organised chaos that put me at ease despite myself, reminding me of late-night study sessions, the smell of paper and ink intrinsically tied to him. When I sat, the bed creaked like it was welcoming me home as I thumbed through the book open on Rowan’s sheets—like he’d just left the room and planned to pick up where he’d left off at any moment. I flipped the book, careful to keep my thumb in between the pages to preserve his place as I peered at the cover: Vampire History of the Sixteenth Century. Light reading, then.

I had a look through some of the other stacks of books, one on his nightstand and another piled up on the floor at the end of his bed. Unfortunately, none of them were labelled secret blueprints of the vampire court or magickal seals and how to open them. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting to find—a confession? A diary? Helpful notes on finding vampire monarchs?

Or maybe it simply came down to the fact that I’d had a fucking hard few months and I just wanted to see my friend.

I sighed, replacing the book I’d picked up back onto the top of its pile just as a piece of paper fluttered out from the pages and landed on the ground. It felt like the world was in slow motion as I reached down and picked it up, unsurprised to find Rowan’s neat handwriting inside the note when I unfolded it.

There were numbers and symbols I couldn’t make sense of scrawled down, some underlined with tiny writing in the margins as if he’d made notes about his notes. I rolled my eyes even as a smile pulled at my mouth, but it faded as my vision snagged on a particular sentence. Natural strength + magickal ability = resistance?

I glanced back at the spine of the book the note had fallen from—some kind of advanced vampire anatomy textbook. I flipped through the pages and stopped when I found more loose notes tucked inside, scanning them briefly before I slipped them back inside the book. If I was right, then Rowan had been searching for a way to reverse the drug Elowen had created. It looked like he’d hit a wall, however, when he’d discovered the magickal components of the drug. In order to create some kind of antidote, he would have needed the help of a mage.

I kept the book in my hand as I left the room, closing the door firmly behind me. I needed to show these notes to Cal.

Something inside me felt like it had been laid to rest, though. I hadn't realised it had been bugging me until I’d found Rowan’s research—because of course he’d be looking for a way out of the mess he’d gotten himself into. He’d just been too late to save himself.

Unable to put it off any longer, I set off in the direction of the nurse’s wing where I knew Rowan was being monitored. I didn’t make a habit of stopping in to see him—maybe that made me a shitty friend, but seeing him so still, so lifeless… It felt like he was dead, that I was staring at his body. Until he woke up—if he woke up—I might as well have been.

Instead, I’d recruited several spies who provided updates on Rowan’s condition. So far, they’d all said the same thing: there was no change. Stable, healing, but dead.

My footsteps dragged against the stone floors, reluctance weighing me down as I approached the final staircase that led to the infirmary.

The smell of antiseptic was familiar and I could hear the unmistakable sound of the undead vampire who acted as nurse berating a first year for the nasty bite on their neck. I hesitated in the doorway before squaring my shoulders and pushing through. I’d faced worse things than a cranky vampire and the likely true-death of a friend.

Neither the living vampire, nor the nurse, paid me any mind as I strolled past and towards the back of the room where a curtain had been erected for the privacy of its occupant.

“Damned lucky you didn’t lose your head,” the nurse scolded and the vampire whimpered as the smell of antiseptic grew stronger. It must have been a hell of a bite to require such measures, normally living vampires healed relatively quickly on their own—though, nowhere near as fast as their undead counterparts. Plus, unless you were biting to kill, the saliva in the bite usually exacerbated the healing process to take mere seconds.

I put the two bickering vampires out of my mind and held my breath, bracing myself, as I pulled back the white curtain and found only an empty bed.

Rowan’s scent was familiar in the air, but the sheets were cold and rumpled. Why had they moved him? Or had someone taken him?

“Where is he?” I didn't mask the demand in my tone and the nurse stiffened before she turned around and seemed to take me in for the first time. Her eyes widened and I could see the glow of irises reflected in her gaze. If this woman had let someone waltz in and steal Rowan right from under her nose… “Did you move him? Or did someone come here and take him?”

The living vampire glanced between us, brows furrowed, but wisely kept their mouth shut as the nurse busied herself with grabbing a stick-on bandage and slapping it on to the living vampire’s torn throat. I couldn’t help but agree with the nurse—how the living vampire had survived a bite like that was anybody’s guess.

“Where do you think he is?” The nurse tutted as she looked back at me even as she gestured to the living vampire with the plaster on their neck.

“Explain.” My voice was cold and my hands curled into fists in an attempt to control myself.

The nurse shrugged. “You think this idiot bit herself?”

A darkness hovered at the edges of my vision and the snarl in my voice had deepened. I needed her to say it. “Where is Rowan?”

Realising the imminent danger of the wolf beneath my skin, moments away from literally biting her head off, the nurse’s eyes widened. “I don’t?—”

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