Page 85 of Sin

Noah’s laughter fades, and he falls silent. The quiet stretches on, filled only with the hum of the bus engine.

“You’re heartbroken,” he eventually says. “I can see it all over your face.”

I sigh. “Yeah.”

“I don’t think you need to be. I think… I shouldn’t be telling you this. Lily probably wants to be the one to tell you, but fuck it. You look too pathetic for me to keep a secret.”

He laughs again, and the hairs on my arm stand up. What the hell is he going to tell me?

“Lily and I… We went to Coach Rodriguez this morning. She told him everything, and when I tell you it was like a bomb went off in his office, that’s not even an exaggeration. You know Coach. He’s always talking about our character and shit, and how it matters on the field. I think he’s glad you punched Mason. He even said he’s going to stand by you in post-game interviews, to help with your draft prospects.”

My pulse quickens, and a surge of hope courses through me, making my heart swell until it feels like it’s almost too big for my chest. Lily finally came forward. That was the “unfinished business” she was talking about.

My brave, sweet girl. It couldn’t have been easy to share that story with Coach Rodriguez, who’s practically a stranger to her. Fuck, I wish I could hold her right now.

No, I can’t get ahead of myself. Just because she came forward doesn’t mean she’s forgiven me.

Noah pats my back. “Don’t get your hopes up too high. Coach couldn’t make us any promises about getting Mason kicked off the team. Ultimately, it’s up to the university admin, and they’ve already decided not to discipline a player who punched another teammate.” Noah chuckles. “But I think there’s a good chance they’ll make a different decision this time. Mason’s no Ethan Harrington. He doesn’t carry our team, and Coach is going to point out that Derek Thompson is solid and ready to step up.”

I snort. “Solid is an understatement. Derek might be young, but he’s got a cannon arm.” I turn to Noah, softening my voice. “But what about Lily? How did she handle the whole thing?”

Noah grins. “She was amazing. She didn’t go into detail about what Mason did to her, which was a blessing for me. I’m about to murder that motherfucker already, and I don’t need any more fuel. But after her story was over, she was back to her usual fearless self. In fact, she told Coach if the university admin doesn’t kick Mason off the team, she’ll go on social media and call them a bunch of misogynistic twats. His eyes almost popped out of his head.”

Warmth spreads through my chest, a sensation so powerful it almost makes me dizzy. “I wish I could have seen that,” I say, smiling wide. “My sassy girl.”

Noah grimaces. “Oh my God, Ethan. Don’t make me throw up. Is this going to be my life now? I’ll have to sit through watching the two of you ready to jump each other?”

I whip my head in his direction. “Did she say something to you… I mean, about wanting to be with me?”

He looks like he’s fighting an eye-roll. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re acting like a kid in junior high. You’ve never had a girlfriend before. No, she didn’t say anything. You need to talk to her.” He smiles lazily. “But don’t think I didn’t notice that you don’t seem at all excited that I’ve forgiven you. I guess I haven’t outright said it yet, but I think it’s pretty obvious. All you seem to care about is her. I see the state of things now.”

His words are light, but I still get the sense that he’s a little hurt. I set my hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze. “You know I love you like a brother, and I’ll be ecstatic that you’ve forgiven me once my head is clear. But right now, all I can think about is your sister. Turns out love makes me obsessed. Everything I gave to football, school, and my faith all belongs to her now.”

He grunts. “Well, you’d better start thinking about football soon. Redwood State is tough. You can’t afford to be distracted by Lily. You’ll need every ounce of focus to break through their defense.”

I groan. “I just wish I could have talked to her already. I’m going crazy wondering what she's going to say.”

Noah gives me a hard pat on the back. “Think of Lily when you play tonight. Think of your future. Treat Redwood State’s cornerback like he’s the one thing standing between you and her.”

I nod, though I’m not sure how I’ll be able to detach from my thoughts of Lily, no matter how important this game is. Knowing she went to Coach Rodriguez set off a flicker of hope that’s growing like a wildfire within me, making me burn to see her.

It all has to mean something. I’ve been pushing her from the beginning to make sure Mason faces some consequences. She must now agree that’s the right thing to do, despite what she told me days ago.

I’ve already decided to compromise my rigid ideals for her, and to ease back on my overprotectiveness. Could she be making a similar compromise for me?

Oh God, I don’t know, and I’m too scared to get my hopes up. I won’t be home until late tonight, and the next several hours are going to stretch like an eternity.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Lily

“To be honest, I always thought Mason was creepy,” Lorelai says before taking a sip of her wine. “He sort of has a rapey vibe—” Her eyes grow wide, and then she winces. “Shit, Lily. What an awful thing to say. It literally just came out of my mouth. I wasn’t thinking about?—”

I lift a hand as I fight to contain my laughter. “It’s okay, love. I don’t want to treat the word ‘rape’ like it means something shameful about me. Mason does have a rapey vibe because he’s a rapist. He raped me.” I let out a breath. “Look at me. I can say it without flinching.”

Kinsley sets her hand on my back and rubs small circles. She was her usual motherly self when I told her and the girls the whole story. The first thing she did was grab me a box of tissues from the kitchen. I didn’t need it, but the gesture warmed me. Even a few days ago, I would have considered it condescending, a sign that she thinks I’m weak.

What horseshit. Crying over something traumatic isn’t a weakness. Quite the opposite. It’s a sign that I’m willing to confront my pain, to face it head-on, rather than run from it like I have for the last six months.

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