Page 65 of Sin

My mouth drops open, and she bursts into giggles. “Oh my God, you really are.”

I scowl at her, irritation flaring in my veins. “People die of the flu, Lily. People even die of the common cold. It’s rare, but it happens.”

Her expression grows pitying, but I’m not even a little embarrassed for saying something so outrageous. I don’t want to think about Lily dying, even if the chances are extremely remote.

I need her like I need to breathe.

“Come here,” Lily says, gesturing at the bed. “I have something I need to tell you.”

I frown in confusion but follow her direction. When I sit down next to her, she reaches out and takes my hand. Her skin is clammy, giving me another flare of anxiety.

Her expression grows grave. “There will be no sappy songs played at my funeral. I want bangers only. In fact, the whole thing needs to be a dance party. Why aren’t you writing this down? These are my final wishes.”

The tension in my body eases at her joke, and warmth fills me everywhere. God, she’s cute. I thought I was good in a crisis, always able to take action, but it turns out, Lily is even better.

It feels like I’ve found a missing piece. I make a big deal out of nothing sometimes. It’s how I’m wired. It might help my productivity and problem solving, but it certainly doesn’t feel good. Lily softens my sharp edges with her silliness and ease.

Fuck. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let her go.

I try to shake off the thought as I squeeze her hand. “Only if you come with me to the campus clinic. If not, I’ll make sure your funeral is the most depressing thing ever. An old church that smells like mildew. Organ music. Everyone wearing black and sobbing. I’ll get up on stage to give a eulogy, and I’ll talk about how you lit up a room.”

She makes a gagging sound, and I smile.

“But that’s not all,” I say. “I’ll tell them all how your smile made everything brighter, how you always knew how to make me laugh, even on my worst days. I’ll say you were the sunshine in my life, and without you, my whole world has turned to darkness.” Fuck, what am I doing baring my soul to her? My anxiety over her illness is making me lose my mind. “I'll tell them I was lost before you found me, and how you taught me that I was lacking something profound. Something I didn’t even know was missing until you.”

Her glazed eyes are fixed on my face. “What?”

I swallow. “Joy.”

When she intakes a sharp breath, I drop her hand, and stand up from the bed. What the hell was that? Now is not the time for sappy confessions. I need to take care of her.

“Alright, I’m getting the thermometer.” Without looking at her face, I head out of my room and into the kitchen. I grab the first aid kit from a high shelf in the pantry, fumble with the latch, and yank out the digital thermometer. In what feels like a split second later, I’m putting it inside Lily’s mouth. My hands shake as I maneuver it under her tongue.

The numbers on the screen shoot up immediately to over a hundred. The wait is agony as they slow and settle on a single number.

One hundred…and four.

My stomach plummets to the floor. “Holy shit, Lily! This is the highest fever I’ve ever seen.”

She sets her hand on my shoulder, and that pitying smile has returned to her face. “My fevers always run high. I can text my mom right now and have her back me up if you’re worried. I promise I’m not dying.”

I shake my head, my thoughts growing dazed. “I think we should go to the emergency room.”

“No.” Her voice is sharp.

I turn to her with a scowl. “It might be a sign of something serious…like sepsis. I don’t think you understand. This is a really high fever.”

She frowns incredulously. “Sepsis? Are you crazy? Ethan, I’m starting to think you might be one of those doomsday people.” She glances around my bedroom. “Where are your canned beans?”

Her sass is comforting, a sign that she’s still herself. If she were septic, she’d likely be too listless to ridicule me. Still, I’m not good at compromise, but taking her to the ER when she’s refusing to cooperate might do more harm than good. Her body needs to rest if she’s going to fight off whatever is causing this fever.

“Fine,” I say. “We’ll go to the clinic.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

Lily

Ethan’s face is strained as he stares into my eyes. We’re standing at an altar on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean, and he’s wearing a tuxedo.

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