Page 37 of Sin

I narrow my eyes. “If you’re referring to my speech about your brand of asshole, I never called you brainless. The exact opposite. I said you were an intellectual gym rat.”

His smile grows. “When it comes to gym rats, I don’t think there’s much of a difference. Not when all we care about is working out and taking supplements, which you also accused me of. Don’t try to deny it. You were ridiculing me. As usual…” He reaches out and touches my nose with the tip of his finger. “Sassy girl.”

I gasp, and the words hang in the air between us. Sassy girl. The words are so different from other names he’s called me in the past—irresponsible, reckless—and I wasn’t imagining the warmth and softness in his voice. Why else would he be staring at me right now with unfathomably dark-blue eyes?

A charged silence follows, and I suddenly become hyperaware of his proximity. Is it just my imagination, or is he closer than he was a moment ago? His thigh is now pressed against mine, the warmth of his skin seeping through my pajama pants. The hairs on my arms stand on end.

Ethan shifts slightly, his breath brushing against my cheek, making me shiver. For a split second, his eyes flick to my lips before he pulls back. His gaze returns to his Bible, but his jaw is clenched.

“You have another half hour to read, and then it’s lights out,” he says, his voice a touch hoarser. “Or candles out, I should say.”

I swallow, heat creeping into my cheeks. How silly that I thought he was going to kiss me again. He promised he never would. It doesn’t matter if we’ve always been secretly attracted to each other, because it doesn’t change anything.

I’m his best friend’s little sister, and he only dates to marry.

“Yes, Coach,” I say, pleasantly surprised at how even my voice sounds.

Chapter Fifteen

Ethan

I love watching her brush her teeth.

She dances around the small kitchenette in my room with a frazzled energy. Her red hair is pulled up in a high bun that bobs back and forth with every fierce brush.

I have to stop myself from chuckling, not wanting to swallow my own toothpaste. She’s so unapologetically herself. Even when brushing her teeth, she’s bubbly and vivacious.

After only thirty seconds, Lily leans forward, spits into the sink, and grabs a towel to pat her face dry.

“That wasn’t two minutes,” I say, trying to sound stern but failing to hide the amusement in my voice.

Lily rolls her eyes dramatically, tossing the towel onto the counter. “Do you actually time yourself brushing your teeth?”

“I do. And I timed you. What else would you expect from a joy vacuum?”

“Ethan, stop. You’re making me feel sorry for you.” She steps closer and pokes me in the ribs. Her touch sends a jolt through me. As I watch her make her way over to my bed in those Spiderman pajama pants with her oversized Hawks T-shirt, my chest swells with an emotion I can’t quite name.

We just got ready for bed together, and there was something so natural about it, like we’ve been doing it for years.

What is it about this girl that makes my heart so light?

It’s as if she’s a breath of fresh air, clearing away the cobwebs of my self-imposed constraints. When I’m with her, I find myself laughing more, relaxing into the moment instead of worrying about what comes next.

Strange, since she always used to drive me crazy.

Then again, I never allowed myself to be this close to her. Something about her always felt dangerous, like if I gave in to her energy, I’d lose control, be swept away in her whirlwind.

She crawls into my bed, the flickering candlelight casting soft shadows on her face. She pulls the covers up around her before nestling into the pillows. Possessiveness clenches my gut, along with a primal urge to crawl into that bed with her.

It’s probably left over from the heat of jealousy that swept through my body when she told me she got a text from Jake. I couldn’t help wondering what it was about. Were they flirting? Did he ask her on a date?

I don’t want to think about it, so I distract myself by walking around the room and blowing out each candle one by one. The space gradually darkens, and the shadows grow longer until only the soft glow of the last candle remains.

I take a deep breath and blow out the final one, plunging the room into darkness. The only light now is the faint glow from the streetlights outside filtering through the curtains.

What would it be like to share the darkness with her? The whole world would be heat and skin and her delicious scent. My chest swells again, but the feeling behind it no longer eludes me.

Longing. There’s no other word for it.