Page 15 of Sin

“How about we get to our session?” I say. “I’m excited to show you my activity log. I was very meticulous.”

And I included an item that’s going to make his eyes pop out of his head. When he scolds me for it, I’ll remind him that Noah told me to log every single activity.

Ethan frowns, but he gestures for me to sit down at a big wooden desk in the corner of the room.

My head starts to swim. Maybe I shouldn’t have rushed this part of our meeting. I don’t want to talk about my grades for the better part of an hour. I want to shut them out of my mind and pretend they don’t matter.

“Are you okay?” Ethan asks, snapping me into the present. He’s now sitting in front of the desk. When did he move?

Damn, I was zoning out. This twilight hour is always difficult for me. My brain is ready to shut down. The problem is it never does. Once I enter my bedroom, my adrenaline spikes, and my thoughts start racing. No amount of exhaustion can bring me down.

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately,” I find myself admitting. “Probably because I’m stressed about my grades.”

He tilts his head. “How long has this been going on?”

“Months.” I plop down on the seat opposite Ethan.

“Lily, that’s not good.”

The concern in his voice draws my gaze to his face. He’s staring at me with a furrowed brow. “Sleep is essential to productivity. No wonder you’ve been having trouble focusing.”

I shrug. “There’s not much I can do about it.”

“That’s not true. You need to see a doctor. Nothing I suggest will help you if you’re not sleeping.”

“I already went to a doctor. He gave me Ambien, which didn’t work.”

Ethan frowns. “Then you should try something else. When we’re done here, I’ll write you a whole list of supplements you can try.”

I give him a thumbs up. “Sounds good, Coach.”

He nods. “Let’s get to your log. We’ll talk about sleep more when we wrap up, but there’s something I want to mention before we get started. It might be awkward, but it needs to be said. We’re going to be spending quite a bit of time together over these next few weeks, and given recent events…” His lips purse. “You don’t have to worry about me kissing you again. It’ll never happen.”

I grit my teeth. Of course golden boy Ethan would take Noah’s misogynistic rule about no teammates touching his sister as seriously as the word of God. He already told me that he’s never going to kiss me again. Does he think I’ve been on pins and needles waiting for another kiss?

“Damn.” I huff. “I was hoping for constant kisses. I never study without kissing. The two things go together like peanut butter and jelly. How will I get through the next hour?”

Ethan tries to smile, but the movement is tight. His cheeks flush, and his eyes dart to my mouth, lingering there. Heat pools in my belly.

Is he really getting flustered at the mere mention of kissing me?

Interesting.

“Well.” He clears his throat, shifting in his seat. “I guess we’ll have to find some other way to keep you focused. Can I see your daily log?”

“Sure.” I’m grateful that he changed the subject. I’d rather not think about kissing him again either.

It was a delicious kiss—sweet and sensual. The perfect antidote to my recent revulsion of being touched by any man.

I pull out my laptop and flip it open. The excel spreadsheet is still up on the screen. “I’ve accounted for every single minute of my day.” I slide my open laptop across the desk. “It was so mind-numbingly boring, I wanted to claw my eyes out.”

Boring isn’t the right word, though. The effort it took to document my day was nothing short of herculean. Attention to detail makes me want to bash my head against a wall, especially lately when focus is so difficult to harness.

Ethan’s gaze drifts over the screen. “Like I said, if it doesn’t work, we’ll try something else. This is supposed to—” His lips close, and his eyes grow huge.

I strain my throat to keep from laughing. I know exactly what he just saw.

The single entry I wrote just for Ethan. It wasn’t even true, but I had to include it. It’s something the old Lily would have done. She’d have followed Noah’s law to the letter just to disconcert Ethan.

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