Page 21 of Sin

I was called to help Lily, and damn it, I’m going to do it. If being close to her messes with my head, so be it. My will is stronger than my desires. I’m not in danger of kissing her again.

Chapter Eight

Lily

The early morning light is soft, casting a gentle glow over the porch of my sorority house. I’m sitting cross-legged on an old wooden chair with a canvas propped up on an easel in front of me. As I move my brush, colors blend across the canvas. It’s quiet outside, except for the occasional chirping of birds and the faint rustle of leaves in the breeze.

It’s sometime after six a.m., and I slept five hours last night. An improvement. I forced myself to follow Ethan’s sleep ritual to the letter. He told me on our walk home last night that if I had to get up during the night, only relaxing activities were allowed. So when my brain wouldn’t stop buzzing around midnight, I came out here and set up this easel.

His advice worked. After about a half hour of painting in near darkness, I found myself nodding off. Without even cleaning my paints and palate in the sink, I wandered back into my room, plopped down on my bed, and drifted into oblivion for a few more hours.

It was heaven for a short while.

The porch door creaks, and footsteps thump on the patio. A moment later, Kinsley appears at my side. She’s still in her pj’s with a coffee cup in hand.

“Look at you,” she says, her voice raspy. “Painting at sunrise. What a romantic way to spend your morning.”

I dip my brush in a powder-blue paint. “It’s only because I’m an insomniac.”

Kinsley sighs. “Still?”

“Yep. Nothing works. I’ve even tried Ambien.” A smile rises to my lips. “Ethan made me drink chamomile tea last night, which was disgusting.”

“Ethan?” Kinsley’s voice is full of curiosity.

So I tell her the story of how Noah assigned Ethan to be my accountability partner. I even tell her about how Ethan has recently become my sleep coach.

Her eyes widen. “Sleep coach?”

“You know how Ethan is. So disciplined about everything. He’s turning my sleep into homework. Literally. He texted me a whole list of things to try each night, and he’s going to check in with me every morning to see how I slept.”

Kinsley cocks a brow. “I can think of a great way he can help you sleep. Too bad he’s saving himself for marriage.”

“We had a whole conversation about that yesterday. He told me he doesn’t think having sex outside of marriage is wrong, but it’s wrong for him. How bizarre.”

She nods slowly. “He’s talked about that in our church college group. Honestly…” She pauses for a moment. “He doesn’t seem like he cares that much about it—staying a virgin, I mean. It almost feels like… He’s trying to prove how disciplined he is.”

I snort. “As if he needs any more proof. That man is as uptight as a drill sergeant.”

“So true. No one needs to get laid more than he does. I’ve never believed in the whole purity culture bullshit. Jesus doesn’t care about our sex lives.”

“I don’t even know what purity culture is, but it sounds?—”

My phone buzzes on the small table beside me. My heart flutters when Ethan’s name appears. I reach down and unlock the screen.

Ethan: How many hours?

I shut my eyes as I smile. What an Ethan question. He needs to know the exact number of hours I slept. He might even be logging it on a spreadsheet for me. He’s so meticulous.

I type back quickly.

Me: Five hours, Coach.

“What’s got you smiling like that?”

Warmth blooms in my cheeks, but I try to maintain a calm expression. “Oh, just my lord and master checking in to make sure I slept.”

“Lord and master,” Kinsley mutters. “I never thought about it before, but your nickname for him is a little kinky. Maybe Ethan isn’t the only one with a secret crush.”

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