Page 14 of Sin

“We call it the study.”

I snort. “Pretentious.”

“Yes. Especially coming from a group of guys who hold a monthly beer chugging competition. No one uses our study except me.” He pauses for a beat. “Because I’m pretentious, I guess.”

When I whip my head in his direction, he’s smiling faintly—a sweet little quirk of the lips—but it’s nearly blinding. My God, this man is beautiful when he smiles. It sure beats his usual stoic frown. I was never affected by his looks until recently, but then again, I don’t think he’s ever smiled at me like that before.

I turn away, pretending to examine a shelf of books. “I wouldn’t say pretentious. That’s not your brand of asshole. Don’t be offended by my use of the word ‘asshole.’ We all have our own unique brand, even me.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s my brand?”

I frown at the question. It’s not like him to indulge my rambling silliness. “I’d call you the intellectual gym rat. You’re analytical about your approach to athletic and academic excellence, and it makes you feel like you’re better than people who don’t work as hard as you do. It’s totally insufferable, but it doesn’t matter because you’re hot. You don’t need a personality when you have nothing to compensate for.”

When he bursts into laughter, heat breaks out over my cheeks. I just told him he doesn’t have a personality, damn it. I’ve said versions of the same thing many times, and he almost always rolls his eyes.

“I love how you hide your viciousness in backhanded compliments,” he says, his voice strained from laughter. “You tried to disarm me by saying I’m hot, and then you followed it up by basically calling me a dumb jock. Your sass is almost Machiavellian, Lily.”

The warmth in his voice sends a pleasant tingle over my skin. When I turn around, his eyes are soft and affectionate.

Who the fuck is this playful version of Ethan?

I swallow. “I only have a vague idea of what Machiavellian means. I was a C student before my grades started failing. Maybe this is our cue to start our…accountability session, or whatever.”

“In a minute.” He takes a step in my direction. “You haven’t told me what your brand of asshole is. I’m dying of curiosity.”

My head grows fuzzy. This isn’t going according to plan. He’s supposed to be annoyed that I’m distracting him from our session with my teasing, not asking me for more.

“My brand of asshole is the most insufferable of all,” I say, “but I take care not to let it show.”

“Insufferable how?”

“I’m vain. I think I’m the most delightful person in the world. The most fun. The life of the party. Not the prettiest girl at the party, mind you, but always the drunkest.”

Ethan snorts, shaking his head. He believes this to be true, no doubt, and I almost believe it myself. I’m performing for him right now. Pretending to be the girl I once was.

Is that what my plan to tease him was all about, really? I wanted to annoy Ethan so I could feel like my old self, if only for an hour.

How sad.

“If there’s a pole,” I say, striving for lightness. “I will be dancing on it. If there’s a karaoke machine, you bet your ass I’ll be belting out ‘Wildest Dreams’ at the top of my lungs. Off-key, of course. Fun people don’t need to be good at anything. We’ll always get jobs because we’re personality hires. I’m extremely smug about this. I pity people who don’t know how to have fun.”

“Like me,” he says without flinching, and my smile fades.

No, Ethan. I pity myself. I’m not that wild, boisterous girl I used to be, and I’m not sure if I ever will be again.

“You’re wrong about one thing,” he says. “You’re always one of the prettiest girls at the party.”

I shake my head sharply, even as my stomach flutters. He’s called me pretty before, but he was only being polite. Ethan is, above all, a gentleman. He’d never let a girl call herself unattractive without contradicting her.

“My personality confuses people,” I say. “I’m so much fun that it distracts from the flaws in my face.”

“What flaws?”

I wave a hand. “Stop with the flattery. You think I’m being humble, and it couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m saying my personality is so spectacular that no one notices my average looks. Do you know what a gift that is? I could rule the world someday.”

He stares at me with such warmth, I could almost call it tenderness. My stomach flips over. The little speech I gave was so vain it bordered on obnoxious. I never would have said it to anyone but Ethan. Someone who already thinks I’m a frivolous party girl without a deep thought in her head.

Nothing about this meeting is going the way I planned.

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