Page 76 of Revenge Cake

“—Anyway, I just need you to know that you will hear me out eventually. You will, Lani! And if you ghost me for another twenty-four hours, I’ll be forced to do something drastic. I’ll show up on your porch again, and it won’t be pretty. You know how you always say you hate the guy at the party who gets out his guitar and starts playing and singing, and that you always want to die of secondhand embarrassment? Well, imagine me showing up on your front porch playing some shitty Sam Smith song loud enough for all your neighbors to hear. Yep. And maybe I’ll do it tomorrow during Mia’s birthday party too. Oh! You don’t think I’d do in front of a bunch of our friends? You think I’d be too embarrassed? Well guess what, I am unembarrassable! But you aren’t…” I hear the smile in his voice. “And I’m going to use it against you, because I’m about to lose my fucking mind if you don’t talk to me, so just wait for it, Lani. Wait for me to show up at your house and serenade you in front of all your friends. And then when I’m done I’m going to start shouting how much I love you and… No! Oh my god. I have an even better idea. I’ll start crying…” He trails off and starts laughing, and he doesn’t even sound like himself anymore. The sound is loud and shrill, almost maniacal. “I’ll start crying,” he says in a voice strangled with laughter, “and then I’ll get on my knees and start begging. In front of all your friends. I’m giving you twenty-four hours to change your mind and talk to me. Mark my words, Lani—” He lowers his voice, enunciating each word slowly. “I will embarrass the fuck out of you.”

Long after the voicemail ends, Brenna and I are still staring at the phone.

Eventually, she speaks, her eyes wide and dazed. “He’s unhinged,” she says, but there’s no censure in her voice.

She’s just as alarmed as I am.

He’s not doing well. I can hear it in his voice.

Logan’s a slow talker—his vowels drawn out, his consonants clipped, like he’s so perpetually relaxed that he’ll only commit to the bare minimum effort of speaking.

That voicemail was anything but relaxed. It was manic, frantic, and something else…

Painful.

He’s in pain.

And he’s in so much pain, he can’t even keep his worst habits in check.

Just like I was a mere three weeks ago when I wrote the stupid, petty revenge list that sent me on this downward spiral.

You wanted this, a voice says. This was all part of your plan.

My chest seizes with guilt. As if my phone itself were Logan, I set it down gently on the coffee table, brushing it lightly with my fingers.

I sink into the couch, the weight of my sins so heavy it takes effort to breathe.

CHAPTER 32

Logan

Guitar in hand, I walk into Armaan’s room.

Lauren is sitting on his bed, engrossed in conversation with him. I fight the urge to roll my eyes at her. This is where she’s spent most of her time since she arrived two days ago, even though she supposedly came up here to comfort me over my breakup. My parents even agreed to babysit Cadence for the weekend because of it, and how like Lauren to use any excuse she can get to spend a weekend reliving her partying days. She and Armaan have already talked about going to Mia’s birthday party tomorrow without me.

“Hey,” I say, and both of their heads swivel in my direction, both looking a little guilty. I don’t even care at the moment. I’m too engrossed in my own predicament. “Do you think it would embarrass Lani more if I sang really loud and off key or if I tried to sing really well? If I, like, shut my eyes and rock back and forth and get really into my song?”

“Both,” Armaan says. “You should sing really loud and off key and make it look like you think you’re really good.”

“You’re a genius, Armaan!” I look to Lauren. “Which song would she hate more, “Stay with Me” by Sam Smith or “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran?”

A frown forms on her brow. “Can you please not do this? Trying to publicly embarrass someone as reserved as Leilani is a dick thing to do. Not to mention that it makes you look like a lunatic.”

I try to stifle the pang of guilt. She’s right that it’s a dick move, but I’m too desperate to care. I can’t be ignored any longer. I’ll go crazy. She has to talk to me. “She’s the one being a dick,” I say, even knowing it’s not the truth. “And if I’m a lunatic it’s because she’s turning me into one by ghosting me.”

***

That night, I spend about fifteen minutes learning the chords of “Stay with Me” from a YouTube video, practicing just long enough to play a recognizable version of it, but not enough to play it well.

Just when I’m about to put my guitar away and get to bed, Lauren steps into my room, shutting the door quietly behind her. “You’re really going to do it?”

“Yep,” I say instantly, knowing she’s going to try to talk me out of it.

“Armaan and I both think you might be having some kind of manic episode. Even for your standards, this is a little…excessive.”

“‘Armaan and I,’” I quote back to her. “Are you guys a couple now?”

She hesitates. “Are you annoyed that I’ve been hanging out with him?”

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