Page 62 of Revenge Cake

Still hunched over the toilet, I wipe my face with a nearby towel. In my periphery, I see Logan’s tall form in the doorway. “I don’t feel sorry for you,” he says. My chest heaves again. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

He laughs humorlessly. “You’re a fucking mess, do you know that? You were such a shitshow tonight, it was almost impressive. Like, there seriously should be some kind of sloppy drunk girl championship ring for your performance. Although, I guess it would be a sloppy, pill-popping drunk girl in your case.”

A sob wrenches from my chest. “Can you please stop being so mean?” I say, unable to take a moment more of this.

He doesn’t answer, and I can sense the clenching of his teeth. “I might have been able to forgive you if it wasn’t for all that shit you said. It’s really making me question everything…”

“No!” I shout, breaking into another sob. “No, Logan. I didn’t mean any of that. I don’t know why I said it. I don’t remember any of it, but it feels like I was possessed by a demon. Like you were describing someone else. I don’t know why I said all that.”

He shrugs jerkily. “Maybe because you’ve been thinking it all along. You know people tell the truth when they’re drunk—”

“No!” I shout. “I wasn’t telling the truth. I was probably just angry and trying to hurt you. I already knew you were jealous of Dean. I chose the meanest thing I could think of to get to you. That’s the only way to explain it.”

Logan cringes. “That’s almost worse.”

I sob. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t care,” he says tonelessly. “I’m going home.”

“No!” I shout, but he’s unmoved. “Please! Please…” My chest heaves with another sob. “Please don’t leave me.”

We both know what I mean. Not just here tonight. Don’t leave me forever.

“Logan…” My chest heaves in another sob. “I love you. You’re my everything. I would crumble without you.”

It was the wrong thing to say. In my agony, I lost my filter. Yes, I love him, but I also need him. I can’t survive without him. Not as this shell of a person I’ve become.

And he doesn’t find that flattering.

“I’m glad you’re awake,” he says almost lightly. “I couldn’t leave before because I was worried you might be in actual danger.” His nostrils flare. “You know, because you took Ativan with booze. A typical Saturday night with you.”

I hunch over, despair gripping my chest like a vice. He’s going to leave me, and this time it will be for good.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he says.

Through my daze, I hear his loud footsteps and the slamming of the front door. I can’t even cry anymore. I’m too empty. Too lost. Sitting in front of a toilet with little memory of how I got here. And not just tonight. What has happened these last three months?

How did I get here?

CHAPTER 25

Present Day

Logan

1. Don’t look at her Instagram.

2. Don’t text her.

3. If you run into her, be polite but distant.

4. Don’t under any circumstances agree to see her in person.

5. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER.

Oh shit.

Fucking, fucking shit.

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