Page 29 of Shared Spaces

Fuck it.

I’m not in any condition to wait up for him anyway, and I’m not even bothering to turn my phone on. Instead, I head into my room, change into some comfy pajamas and slide under my comforter. I’m not even in the mood to really watch anything.

As soon as my head hits the pillow, the paranoid thoughts start again.

I can’t fucking stand this. I feel like I may possibly never have that connection with him again.

I completely fucked it up.

I can explain my way through this. I’ll just blame it on being lost in the heat of the moment.

I just wasn’t prepared for the response I got.

* * *

I have no idea when I fell asleep, but I woke to the sound of extremely loud knocking on my locked bedroom door. Followed by a female voice.

“Gwen? It’s Izzy, Mila’s friend…are you okay?”

Izzy? Who the fuck is that?

I stumble to my feet and make my way to the door, unlocking it and opening it just enough to see out. I recognize her right away. She’s the one that was sitting with Dwight all evening.

“I’m fine. Did Mila send you?” I ask, my voice sounding a little rougher than I intended.

“No actually. Jay did—he told me what happened.”

“Great. So, he can talk it about it with everybody else but me? I don’t even know you!” I exclaim, louder than I should have.

How dare he!

“He doesn’t know what to say and the guys sucked him into a game of D&D. He tried to text you. Many times.”

How the fuck did she even get in? Jay must have given her the key.

At least he cares that much, I guess.

16

Jay

I’ve been stuck in this never-ending game for more than a few hours now. There’s no way out of it.

Normally, I’d be into this.

After what just happened with Gwen—I’m not in the mood.

I sent Izzy over to the apartment to make sure Gwen was still there. Mila hasn’t even noticed her gone, and I’m now starting to question their friendship and Gwen’s safety when she’s around her. I’ll be sure to give her hell about that tomorrow.

She has a right to be upset. I can’t possibly tell her how to feel. If there was a way to explain everything to her myself, I would. It makes no sense to me either to be honest.

I’m addicted to the edge. Refraining from fucking her has been anything but easy for me though. Everything feels so different with her. She makes me nervous as fuck.

I’ve done a pretty good job at hiding it, but I won’t be able to keep up on that charade.

“Jay! Snap the fuck out of it!” I hear Dwight yell out at me.

I shake my head and focus my attention back on the game, wondering where the fuck we even left off.

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