Page 77 of Sugar

The telescope had, for only a moment, let him forget what his reality was.

“Saturn next?” Adam offered.

Juno wasn’t sure he wanted to say yes. He was worried that every time he pulled away, it would feel worse. But he also knew he didn’t want to give this up. He’d tried his left eye, but his vision was too poor for even the strongest lens. He didn’t want to have regrets.

“Let’s do it.”

Adam grinned and moved back to the desk. “Hold on to your butts,” he said. Then he typed something into the computer, and the whole platform began to rotate.

Juno gasped and grabbed Piper’s arm to steady himself, but before he could freak out, it went still again. The telescope made a bunch of noise after that, and Juno sat while Adam switched the lens, then began his exploration.

Another twenty minutes went by before he called Piper over. “Your turn, bud.”

Piper waved him off. “I’ve seen it. Let Juno have this.”

He wanted to argue, but he was also getting tired. The night had been long and emotional in ways he hadn’t planned for. He wanted to curl up in fuzzy pajamas and lie in bed and simply feel Piper breathing next to him.

Adam beckoned him over, and Juno leaned in, pressing his eye to the viewfinder. It was exactly as before—a blurry grey blob in the center and black on the edges. Saturn was obviously right in the center. Then, slowly, the image began to shift until all Juno could see was a bright light.

“Okay?” Adam asked.

“It’s just one big blob of light.”

Adam chuckled. “Give me a second.” He did things—important, space, science-y things. Juno just stood there, his eye pressed to the little rubber circle, and he breathed.

And then…it was Saturn. It was still bright, but it began to move more into focus. He could see the faint color, and the rings—God, he could see the rings in detail. It almost looked like a painting.

“How is that actually real?” Juno murmured. He didn’t really want an answer.

“I know. It doesn’t look like that up close,” Adam told him. “There are clouds on the surface, and the rings are rocky. I think it’s prettier from here.”

Juno blinked a few times before pulling back, taking time to adjust to his vision before he turned and searched for Piper. He wasn’t there. “Uh?”

“Bathroom,” Adam said. He was leaning against the railing, his arms folded over his chest. “You get your fill?”

Juno couldn’t say he had, but he couldn’t say he hadn’t. “This was really nice. Thank you.”

Adam nodded, staring at him like he was some sort of science experiment. “How bad will it get?” He gestured toward Juno’s eyes.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he shrugged. “Zero light perception in my central vision and blurry, colorblind vision in my periphery. If I try really hard, I can read, but I have to make the letters huge, and it gives me a headache after a few moments.” He turned to face Adam fully and closed his right eye. Holding up both hands in the center, he moved them out to the sides until he could see his fingers. “Everything between my hands is gone. It’s a sort of…greyish blob. Like TV static.” He opened his right eye again, and Adam was watching him curiously. “What about your husband?”

“Oh, he’s totally blind now. He was diagnosed when he was really young with this condition that thins the optic nerve. And it just kept getting thinner and thinner as he got older. His completely atrophied when he was in elementary school. Sorry if I sound like a textbook. I don’t totally understand it, but that’s how he explained it to me.”

Juno bit his lower lip. “Mine’s the optic nerve too. But it’s not supposed to take everything. Just enough to make life a giant pain in the ass.”

Adam burst into laughter. “I think that’s how Magnus feels some days.”

“But he’s in Sweden,” Juno pointed out. “Alone.”

“Switzerland,” Adam corrected. “But he goes to Sweden too. And France. Sometimes he takes a lab assistant with him, depending on what he’s doing. But he travels on his own.”

“Totally blind.”

Adam lifted a brow. “He’s forty-four. He’s had a lot of years to practice.”

That hit Juno like a ton of bricks. This was still new for him. It was fresh and it was raw, but there would come a time he would be blind longer than he was sighted, and there was a good chance he’d forget what it was like to have normal vision.

He wasn’t sure how that made him feel.

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