Page 73 of Sugar

Juno turned away. “Nothing. Let’s go to town.”

Piper made an unhappy noise, but he set his laptop aside and swung his feet off the bed. Juno glanced over, trying to see what was on the screen, but his growing grey spot made it impossible for him to read. Fuck.

Tonight would be another night he’d have to find an excuse not to look over the menu.

Christ, maybe he should just tell him.

He jumped half a foot when an arm came around his waist, and he realized he hadn’t seen Piper approach. He closed his eyes and breathed, trying to calm his heart down as Piper pulled him close. “You’re jumpy tonight. Did I do something?”

“No, I—” Just say it. Just fucking say it.

“Juno. Sugar.” Piper touched his chin, and Juno opened his eyes. He found himself inches from Piper’s face and perfectly able to see his gorgeous eyes and lush mouth. “Talk to me. Please.”

Juno let out a small breath. It wasn’t now or never because he couldn’t keep this secret for much longer, but did he really want to weight the night down with it? But fuck, he was tired. He was so, so tired. “My right eye is blurry.”

Piper frowned. “Blurry, like…”

“Like it’s happening. Just like it did with my left. The spot isn’t as big, and it’s not as opaque as the left one. Yet. But it’s getting there. This was how it started before.”

Piper’s face fell. “Oh, sugar…”

“It’s fine. I was expecting it.” There was a slight wobble to his voice, but he cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. He was not going to let this take him down. He knew what he was feeling was normal. He’d read all the message boards with people like him typing out almost his exact story. He knew what his therapist would say: this was a loss, and he was allowed to mourn. He was allowed to be angry.

He was even allowed to fall apart for moments at a time.

What he shouldn’t do was let this ruin him or the good things in his life that he’d worked so hard for. It was just his sight, after all. There were so many more things he had left.

Unfortunately, that didn’t really make him feel better. He knew then he should probably give his therapist a call.

“Let’s go find something to eat. Are you still okay to walk around?”

Juno nodded. “Yeah. I could really use the distraction.”

“What about tonight? With the telescope?”

Juno didn’t have an answer to that. He’d never used one before, and he had no idea how much of his vision he needed. “Can we still try it?”

Piper cupped his cheek. “Anything you want.”

“Anything?”

“Yes.”

Juno was tempted to give him several absurd scenarios that no reasonable man would agree to just to test him, but that felt mean. That would just be him lashing out in anger because everything felt so far outside of his control, and he didn’t want Piper making promises he couldn’t keep.

But his lover was trying, and God help him, but Juno loved him for it.

He was in love with him for many reasons, in fact.

He just wasn’t ready to say it.

Gathering his hoodie, Juno slipped into his boots, then let Piper keep him close as they made their way down to the car. It wasn’t fully dark, but it was heading that way, and he peered ahead at the horizon as Piper drove, hoping he might see the lights one last time. Instead, he just saw fading grey skies.

He jolted when Piper picked up his hand, and he realized that, yeah, he was jumpy. “Sorry,” he muttered when Piper kissed the inside of his wrist.

“Don’t be. If you don’t want to do this?—”

“No, I do. Trust me, I really do. I just feel…” He hesitated, then shrugged. “I know you hate this word, but I feel stupid. Sometimes I can forget that out of everyone I know, I’m the least educated, and some days, it’s harder.”

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