Page 53 of Sugar

“It’s wrong. I’m not…it’s…it was special.”

Piper knew what he meant. He just couldn’t bring himself to say it right then. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Juno sniffed softly. Not like he was crying, but there was a thickness in his voice when he spoke. “Can I sleep with you? I don’t want to be alone.”

Piper wanted to say yes. He wanted to say no. He wanted to scream into the nothingness of the universe because that way, he could unleash all his complicated feelings without worrying he would hurt someone. Instead, he opened his arms because what else could he possibly do?

Juno’s body stiffened for a second, and then he padded over the hardwood floor and slipped under the covers. His body was warm as it collapsed against Piper’s, and he shuddered softly as they settled back against the pillows.

“I’m sorry,” Juno whispered. “I know I’m being a selfish asshole.”

“Sugar,” Piper said, and Juno let out a quiet moan of relief, “you’re not being a selfish asshole for taking some space for yourself to process.”

“Or for coming back to your bed even though I still can’t tell you what you want to hear?”

Piper laughed softly and held him a little tighter. “You’re not going to push me for more than this right now, are you?”

“No,” Juno said, and the honesty in his tone was both frank and sharp. “No, I’m not. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t. You can’t,” Piper promised him. His entire body felt settled with Juno in his arms again. He nuzzled his nose into the top of his hair and breathed in the scent of him. “I’ll be here when you’ve decided what you need. And what you want.”

Juno hummed softly, already drifting, and after a few beats of their hearts, Juno was out, and Piper was on his way.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Niagara Falls.

Juno had seen a hundred photos and more than a dozen videos, and for so long, he’d never really cared about seeing a waterfall. He wasn’t a waterfall kind of guy. But standing on the bow of the boat as they got close enough to be drenched by the spray, he understood what it meant to be awed by nature.

He couldn’t explain the emotions with words. Not really. The falls made him feel small and insignificant, and yet somehow also important that he got to be there, exactly in that moment, to experience it.

The roar was overwhelming. It was a whole-body sensation. He realized then, as he leaned into Piper’s arms, he didn’t need sight for this one. He could visit there again, and the feeling would be just as profound.

And that was why he took his eyes off the water. He was leaning against Piper, his back to Piper’s front. The older man’s gaze was fixed out on the cliffs, watching the water cascade in white sheets around them. He didn’t seem to notice Juno wasn’t watching anymore.

That was fine by him. It allowed him selfish moments to indulge in just looking.

Piper looked beautiful there. Different—almost ethereal with a sort of watery halo surrounding his dark hair. Water dripped down his temples in rivulets. There was a single drop hanging from his nose, which made him sniff, and Juno smiled.

He was so fucking human—which was an absurd thought because they were both human. But Piper had made it a little too easy to put him up on a pedestal over the last few weeks, and it was nice for him to be brought back down to earth with Juno.

It was comfortable there. It was safe there.

Juno didn’t need to live up to some idea of perfect because Piper wasn’t perfect. He had a bagel crumb in the corner of his mouth and a tiny bit of white snot stuck to the inside of his left nostril.

He was so fucking lovely.

“You okay?”

In his musing, Juno hadn’t realized Piper had turned his gaze down. He shrugged, then thumbed at his nose. “You have something.”

Piper’s cheeks darkened, and he reached into his pocket, pulling out a wadded napkin from their coffee earlier that morning. He swiped his nose, and the offending bit of imperfection was gone. So was the bagel crumb.

Juno, weirdly, missed them.

There was still a canyon between them in ways that he hadn’t expected to feel after Piper said he needed some space. Juno had panicked the moment he said it. He’d been expecting it. He couldn’t deny him, and frankly, he knew that was in his best interest too. He enjoyed being friends with benefits, but the benefits had started to fade into something else, and he wasn’t ready for that yet.

He didn’t trust Piper enough yet, which was his own fault, not the other man’s.

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