Page 56 of Sugar

Juno wasn’t going to faint, but he didn’t have fight in him. The hallway was better than nothing. Piper let him go, and the moment the door was shut, Juno closed his eyes and groped his way to the bathroom. He found the toilet by touch, and the tile was almost cruel on his knees, but he hovered over the toilet bowl and managed to heave up without spilling.

He was pretty sure.

He’d check once he could see straight.

It didn’t take him long to feel better, though the pain in his head was profound. He managed to stand mostly upright in the dark bathroom and wash his face. He felt around and recognized the mini mouthwash bottle by touch, chasing the taste of bile away.

It had been a long while since he’d gotten a headache like this. They had been his old friend as a teenager when he was hormonal and angry and lost. He hadn’t expected a resurgence. The last time he’d been taken out at the knees had been when he was first opening up his bakery, and that was just from the stress of loan applications and wondering if he was actually going to make something of it.

He wasn’t surprised it had hit him now, he just wished it could have waited for another moment. He was tired of Piper seeing him fall apart.

Turning, Juno found his way to the bed by trailing his fingers along the wall. He crawled under the sheets, peeling away his clothes and letting them fall in a pile at the side of the bed. The pillows were cool, and the A/C kicked on with a quiet thud before pouring icy cold air over him.

The pain abated just a little, and the fog set in. He was going to be useless for the rest of the day and maybe into the next. But they had nowhere to be just yet. Not for a little while.

For now, he could rest.

Juno woke in a fog, the migraine hangover ever-present as he rubbed at his eyes. The left was the same, which was an odd relief. A small part of him had been terrified that the pain behind his eyes would have made his vision worse. But he hadn’t noticed a change since right before they’d left home, and he was wondering if maybe the loss had plateaued.

He looked around, but the room was empty, and this time, he didn’t panic. Wherever Piper was, he wouldn’t be gone forever, and probably not for long. Sitting up, Juno waited for his head to settle, and then he closed his right eye and had a proper look around at his possible future.

The grey static stretched wide across his vision. When he turned his eye all the way in toward his nose, he got a clearer picture of what was around him. The second bed with their suitcases open, clothes spilling out. The nightstand—or half of it, anyway. He could see the side of the black phone he wasn’t even sure worked.

And the clock. He couldn’t read the numbers—they were an odd blur, and the color was all wrong.

All the colors were—muted and mostly green. It was ugly. But it wasn’t a total loss.

He stood up and started walking toward the bathroom, his hand out in front of him. He could do this, he realized. Then he tripped over Piper’s shoes. He didn’t hit the floor, catching himself on the wall with a lucky grab. He thought about what the doctor said—how he was probably going to need a cane.

He couldn’t imagine trying to walk around in public like this. But maybe with help—with some sort of assistance—he’d be okay.

He didn’t need to learn to bake blindfolded. He just needed to rely on his sense of touch a little more. Just like he had when he was sick. And he’d done it. He hadn’t washed his mouth out with shampoo or aftershave. He hadn’t even had to think about it.

The door opened, and Juno jumped back a foot, opening his right eye. His panic settled when Piper’s face came into view and his central vision was clear…

Or was it?

No. There was the smallest distortion right in the center when Juno looked directly at him. Right where his nose sat. His gut twisted again, but he breathed through it. You can do this, he reminded himself. You can.

“You’re up.”

Juno nodded and swallowed. His mouth tasted like a dead animal, and he grimaced. “How long was I out?”

Piper checked the watch on his wrist. “About four hours. It’s dinner time. I got us pizzas from downstairs. They have a restaurant that does handmade ones with a woodfire oven. I also got wings and some fried zucchini and a sandwich in case you hate pizza.”

Piper didn’t even know he liked pizza because Juno had been a complete fucking asshole and kept the man so in the dark he was flailing as badly as Juno was. He couldn’t keep doing this to him. He didn’t want this. He wanted Piper.

“You’re amazing,” he blurted.

Piper blinked, flushing along his cheeks. “Um…thanks?”

“I need to wash my mouth out,” Juno said quickly.

Piper looked startled and a little bemused. “Okay? Before you eat?”

“Just…one second?” he begged. He knew Piper was confused, but Juno was going to make everything clear very soon. He just needed to be less gross. He slipped into the bathroom and shut the door with a heavy thud.

He used the shower light to keep it dim, his head still tender. Then he emptied his bladder, washed his hands, and grabbed his toothbrush to clean out the funk. When he was done, he leaned toward the mirror and stared at the bags under his eyes.